If you can only choose one excellent quality to accompany your child for life, what will you choose? Wen Wen Dad will not hesitate to choose - high emotional intelligence!
According to a large number of studies, the high and low emotional intelligence of children seriously affect the physical and mental health of children, interpersonal relationships, and even the healthy development of personality qualities.
01, children with low emotional intelligence, it is difficult to make people like
Some time ago, an incident occurred that made Wen Wen's father realize the importance of cultivating children's emotional intelligence:
Wen Wen's father and his brother's family went to his uncle's house to visit relatives, and after arriving at his uncle's house, his 5-year-old nephew said that he would not want to enter the door, because his uncle's family lived in the countryside, the house was slightly dilapidated, and the lights were relatively dark.
No matter how we coaxed, the little nephew just refused to come in, and the brother and sister-in-law were very embarrassed to see the situation, and said to the child in a threatening tone: "If you don't go in, you won't want to watch cartoons in the future."
When the little nephew heard this, he walked into the house with tears in his eyes. After entering the house, the little nephew shouted loudly: "This haunted house is small and dark, I don't want to be here..."
The little nephew's words made the people in the room very embarrassed, especially the uncle and aunt.
Looking at the unhappy little nephew, the uncle gave him a red envelope, but the little nephew opened it on the spot, and the small face pulled and said: "How is it so little, only 200 yuan, not enough for me to buy a toy."
In fact, 200 yuan, in the countryside to calculate the high of it, besides, more money and less money are the uncle's intentions, but the little nephew's words make everyone very embarrassed.
The younger brother and sister-in-law can only apologize to the uncle and leave, while criticizing the child, the sister-in-law said: often by the child's behavior is half dead, headache!
I have to say that the words and behaviors of the little nephew are typical manifestations of low emotional intelligence, and what he does is really difficult for people to like.
02, emotional intelligence is not innate, but it will affect the child's life
Harvard psychology doctor Gorman once said that whether a person can succeed, 20% of the factors rely on IQ, 80% of the factors rely on emotional intelligence.
When Ma Yun gave a speech at Tsinghua University, he also said bluntly: If a person wants to be undefeated, he can have a high IQ; but if a person wants to succeed, he needs to rely on high emotional intelligence.
Wen Wen's father realized the importance of cultivating his child's emotional intelligence after personally experiencing the low emotional intelligence performance of his little nephew.
Due to his low emotional intelligence, the little nephew often quarrels with children in kindergarten and loves to lose his temper; he is also very rude when he sees the teacher, and he is often moody... In short, the relationship with teachers and classmates is not good.
Wen Wen Dad also has a friend, graduated from a key university, the ability is very strong, originally the company's focus on cultivating talents, but the emotional intelligence is too low, do not understand interpersonal communication, all the colleagues who work with him, are often half angry with him.
Later, the company can only arrange it to the marginal department, for this, he is very self-blame, frankly: "I used to think it was a straight mouth, now I know that it is low emotional intelligence", he is now in his 30s, he is not married, there are no friends, he bluntly said that he hates such a self.
It can be seen that low emotional intelligence is like an invisible knife for people, which invisibly hurts others and even destroys their own lives.
03, low emotional intelligence children, often have 4 points of performance
Emotional intelligence, in short, is a person's ability to manage one's own emotions, understand the emotions of others, and create win-win relationships.
The level of a child's emotional intelligence can be seen through daily behavior, parenting experts have summarized the low emotional intelligence of children, often have 4 performances, parents quickly check it out.
Lose your temper and get moody when you don't agree
Toys are taken away, games are lost, cookies are missing... When you encounter something unpleasant, you will lose your temper and get emotional easily.
Love to complain, only care about their own feelings
Arguing with others, always complaining about other people's faults, often pushing problems onto others, only caring about their own feelings, and not caring about other people's requirements at all.
It cannot withstand criticism and has poor ability to resist setbacks
I only like to be praised, I can't hear being criticized, I can't control my emotions, and I pick things up and shrink back when I encounter a little difficulty.
Lack of courtesy, love to expose other people's "scars"
Getting along with people is very rude, often giving people nicknames and deliberately annoying others.
In the parenting group, a mother recounted her child's low emotional intelligence performance: in the elevator, the son saw the neighbor's big sister in heavy makeup, and the bear child said loudly: "Mom, auntie's face is like a monkey's ass, so ugly."
Wen Wen's father believed that if he was the neighbor and heard the child say this, it might be difficult to like the child in the future.
It can be seen that emotional intelligence is crucial to the impact of children!
04, to cultivate the child's emotional intelligence, the mother needs to do this well
How to make the baby emotional intelligence high? Many parents don't know how to teach.
You may say: I myself am not a very talkative person, emotional intelligence is not very high, how to teach children?
In fact, for children, the best way is to let children learn to speak well and exercise their language skills.
In general, children with strong language skills are more likely to have high emotional intelligence: when they are wronged, the child is not just crying, but can speak out his feelings and let others understand him.
In Wen Wen's view, language expression ability is the most important skill for children to improve. And "reading stories" is the best way to improve children's language expression ability.
Children naturally love to imitate, through cute animal images and interesting stories, children can understand and accept at once, than parents explain 100 sentences are effective.
Because of the excellent picture book, children can stand on the shoulders of giants and think.
For example, this set of "Love Expression" series of picture books that have won numerous awards, sold well for many years, and easily entered the hearts of children, especially for children aged 0 to 6 years old.
The "Love Expression" series of picture books, divided into 8 themes, involves various personality problems that children may encounter during their growth, such as timidity, impatience, inferiority, and strong dependence.
The title of each book is particularly directional and convenient for parents to view, such as "Will share, speak decently", "Don't cry, say clearly", "Don't be impatient, think about it again", "Don't be shy, say boldly", "Don't be angry, say it well", "Don't be willful, say it appropriately", "Don't be afraid, say it bravely", "Listen attentively, wait and talk later".
In each book, through cute animal images and scenes close to life, we use short and powerful language to tell children how to express emotions such as anger, shyness, impatience, and crying.
For example, in "Don't Cry Clearly", there is a little rabbit named Woo Woo, who often cries, sees a meal he doesn't like, throws a tantrum and cries, asks him, he can't express it clearly. Later, when his mother was ill, he could not express it clearly when he called the emergency phone, which made him realize the importance of clear expression.
All in all, language expression ability is a manifestation of children's high emotional intelligence, which has a profound impact on children's learning and interpersonal communication. Before the age of 6 is a critical period for children's language development, parents must grasp it.
Surveys have shown that children who have received emotional intelligence education in childhood are not only higher than ordinary children in learning; when they grow up, whether they are at work or in married life, they will live happier.
Disclaimer: The picture comes from the network and has nothing to do with the content of this article, if it is infringing, please contact to delete it.