Wen | Qingzi Book
In February 2022, the vast majority of people's attention was focused on the Beijing Winter Olympics, cheering for the athletes who fought for glory in the country!
However, the drama "The World of Man", starring Lei Jiayin, Xin Baiqing and Song Jia, secretly exploded.
The opening chapter gives us a scene of a family of five "sending off at the train station", which saves the tears of the audience.
I really confirmed that sentence: CCTV production, absolutely extraordinary!
We all know that this drama is adapted from Liang Xiaosheng's novel of the same name, "The World of Man", and won the 10th "Mao Dun Literature Award".
The author shows all the worldly events that a family encountered after "going to the mountains and going to the countryside" in the late 1970s, which makes people sad and weeping!
The focus is on the "Guangzi Tablets" area of a provincial capital city in the north where people surnamed Zhou live.
His father Zhou Zhigang participated in the construction of the "Great Third Line" in the southwest, the eldest son Zhou Bingyi responded to the call of the state to become one of the first batch of young people to go to the countryside, the eldest daughter Zhou Rong followed the poet's husband to the countryside of Guizhou, and the Zhou family left only the younger brother Zhou Bingkun and Zhou Mother to rely on each other.
Among these three children, the one I admire most is "ordinary Zhou Bingkun", who has poor study, poor brain, and wooden stupidity, but he has taken on the heavy responsibility of supporting the family and taking care of Zhou's mother.
I couldn't help but sigh:
"Isn't it a kind of happiness to have an ordinary and unintelligent child?"
Can you believe it? Sometimes, those children who are not smart are often here to repay the favor.
The scum is here to repay the favor
In 1969, in Jichun City, Jiangliao Province, Father Zhou retrieved five photos from the photo studio and rushed home anxiously.
Their family of five was about to face the painful decision to go three and keep two.
Zhou Bingkun, who was not very smart since childhood, did not graduate from junior high school, although he knew a few big characters, he did not like to read at all, and he had no culture.
When he knew that he had the opportunity to go up the mountain and go to the countryside, he did not see the hardship of going up the mountain and going to the countryside, and his first reaction was to happily want to leave home and go to see the scenery of the countryside.
The family originally arranged for Zhou Bingkun and his brother Zhou Bingyi to leave home and let her sister Zhou Rong stay in the city.
But the "smart" Zhou Rong secretly ran to Guizhou to pursue love and freedom after sending away her brother and father.
In the end, Zhou Bingkun was left at home to take care of his elderly mother, and when he grew up, he ran to work in the wood factory.
Later, the college entrance examination was resumed, and his brother and sister were successfully admitted to Peking University, and although Zhou Bingkun was also studying hard, he still fell behind.
He became the most "failed" presence in the family, because his sister was a professor, his brother entered the central government, and he was just a small worker in the soy sauce factory, supporting the family with a meager salary.
The heart of the "loser" is very sensitive, so when Zhou Father reprimanded him in person for not being capable and not fighting, Zhou Bingkun quit his job and opened a noodle shop, and his business was in jeopardy.
People who have no knowledge and no culture, no matter what age they live in, are not favored.
But is this Kind of Zhou Bingkun really not excellent?
I never feel that the fundamental measure of a person's excellence is only judged by the ability to make money and the level of knowledge.
Throwing away these worldly standards, Zhou Bingkun exudes the brilliance of humanity and the vitality of vitality.
Although he did not have higher knowledge, he had an extremely good heart.
Zhou Bingkun learned that his friend Zhiqiang's "wife" Zheng Juan was pregnant, and that there was an elderly mother and a young brother who needed to be taken care of, and he abandoned those worldly prejudices and often went to their homes to send money and help their family do what they could.
Zheng Juan was not moved by Zhou Bingkun's sincerity, but also threw away the worldly prejudices and was with him without hesitation.
Although he did not have excessive ability, he had an extremely filial heart.
After Zhou Mu fainted and became a vegetative person because of Zhou Rong and Feng Huacheng' affair, Zhou Bingkun alone stopped the heavy responsibility of taking care of her.
He didn't tell the rest of the family, fearing that they would worry and affect their work and study. And Zheng Juan, whom he liked, also completely lived in their home to take care of Zhou's mother.
Zhou Bingkun went to work during the day, chatted with his mother at night, massaged and wiped his body, and never complained day after day.
He does not have lofty ideals, but only wants to do a good job in the responsibilities he needs to shoulder in the moment.
Be a good son and filial piety to the mother; be a good father and take good care of the son; be a good uncle and take care of his niece; even he wants to be a good brother-in-law and take care of the brother-in-law.
How could these have not been his greatness!
Can't such a child be respected by the world and loved by his parents? Why didn't their existence come to repay the favor?
Outstanding children often become passers-by in the lives of their parents
In real life, we can always hear parents praise how good their children are, how good they are, how tall they are, and how well they work, as if these advantages can make parents feel proud.
But aren't most of these children far away from their parents?
Zhou Bingkun's older brother and sister are the representatives of this group of "excellent children".
The elder brother Zhou Bingyi, who has been a bully since childhood, went to Peking University as soon as the college entrance examination was resumed, and also married the daughter of the provincial governor.
Sister Zhou Rong, full of poetry and books, talented, when she left her mother to run to Guizhou to "privately set a lifetime" with the man she liked, she was later admitted to Peking University, became a university professor, and lived in France for more than ten years.
How good they are, with bright jobs, with a stable and lucrative income, they are a proud presence in the eyes of all parents.
But how many days a year can they accompany their parents, and can they fulfill their filial piety for a few days?
Mother Zhou once said:
"Since the year Zhou Rong and Zhou Bingyi left home, everything in the family has been lost to Zhou Bingkun."
I'm not saying they're filial piety, but in fact, there are two kinds of filial piety in reality:
One is to meet the spiritual needs of parents, such as Zhou Rong and Zhou Bingyi; the other is to meet the psychological needs of parents, such as Zhou Bingkun.
Since ancient times, loyalty and filial piety have been in a dilemma, so everyone can only choose one.
When they know that their mother is sick, the children want to go home, but the children in the distance are always tied up by difficulties such as distance and difficult situation.
Only children who did not run far and were not very good could arrive at the first time.
Zhou Bingyi was fine, at least it did not cause trouble for the family, but Zhou Rong's own original decision directly added a burden to the family.
After giving birth to the child, she directly threw the child at home and threw it to her grandparents and uncles to take care of, until she became an adult, Zhou Rong did not spend many days with her daughter.
In the past, the carriage was slow, and it took half a month and a month for a family member to go back and forth, and even the news of the death of his parents could only be learned half a month later.
Children who are far away have become passers-by in the lives of their parents.
Nowadays, the economy is developing fast, and video calls only need one button, but how many children will talk to their parents for half an hour every day?
In the end, the old people who stay at home will only reduce the number of faces of their children during the New Year's Festival, say a few words of style, and report good news but not worry.
Measure your child's excellence, don't be so one-sided
Seeing this, there will certainly be many people who refute it:
"Let the children shine on the lintel is the expectation of every parent, and the children's excellent parents also have light on their faces, so that they can not suffer!" As long as they are good, we parents are happy. ”
Yes, wishing their children well is what every parent expects.
But as a parent, you must have cognition:
"What kid really wants to be mediocre for life?" But excellence and mundane incompetence are not made by parental choice. ”
Looking around the world, the vast majority of our children grow up to belong to the ordinary circle.
What we parents can do is to accept the child's ordinariness, let the child find himself in the ordinary, find the meaning of existence, and reconcile with the ordinary child.
I have a college classmate who works for a large company with an annual salary of more than 300,000 yuan and now settles in Shanghai.
He had repeatedly wanted to take his parents to live in Shanghai, but his parents always refused on the pretext of "not being accustomed to living".
This led to the fact that he only had some small long holidays to visit home throughout the year, and he stayed for three or four days at most, and ten days in the New Year.
His parents would always complain to him: "You're busy all year round, can't you come back and see us more?" You are our Dushanzi, your father and your mother are going to die of real illness at home, you don't know! ”
He was helpless, but he couldn't help it!
I have a friend who went back to his hometown to work after graduating from college and even lived with his parents.
It's just that life in small cities is a bit monotonous, with regular work every day and a salary of three or five thousand per month.
Her parents would always complain about her: "You look at so-and-so, others have more ability, you know that at home delicious and lazy, stupid brain, hands and feet are not diligent, who will marry you in the future?" 」
She was helpless, but she couldn't help it!
I would like to ask, is it easy to find a good job that is close to home, has many holidays and high wages this year? Have it?
I haven't found it anyway.
High-paying jobs in big cities often require overtime, all year round
Jobs in small cities close to home can often leave work on time and on time, with many holidays, but no money
Where in the world are there so many perfect jobs that meet everyone's needs?
Why is it that sometimes people just don't know how to be satisfied? There are too many criteria for measuring a child's excellence, strong physique, kindness and filial piety, excellent grades... Wait, isn't it better to accept a child than to criticize a child?
If you can't excel as a child, then spend more time with your parents. If you're good enough, make more money and support your parents. Each performs his duties and is filial piety.
As a parent, if your children are not outstanding enough, then pay more attention to their other advantages and accept the mediocrity of their children;
If your children are good enough, then give them more understanding, let them be free, let them fly, take care of themselves, and don't let them have worries.
There are many kinds of love, and everything is born from the heart.
I am @ Qingzi Book, the end of the article everyone discussed together: why so many parents can not accept the mediocrity of their children?