The troubles of raising children in multi-child families seem to never be able to avoid the topic of "eccentricity".
In families with children and daughters, eccentricity seems to be more pronounced. Some children are silently wronged, and after getting used to it over time, they don't care. But what parents don't know is that although some children do not say anything on their lips, they keep their parents' every move in mind, and may have an emotional outburst after accumulating together.
The girl called the police after being slapped by her father, saying that she would remember it for the rest of her life
Recently, a girl chose to call the police after an argument with her parents, and at first the girl was angry because her father beat her, and said that she would remember 5 slaps in her heart in her life, but the deeper problem was far less than this.
Through the girl's words, it can be understood that she may have been beaten this time because of some conflicts with her brother, and only she was punished, which also aroused the girl's dissatisfaction with her parents' eccentric behavior for many years.
The girl shouted excitedly, she did not understand why she had been beaten when she and her brother had been beaten since she was a child, and her parents had blamed all the responsibility on herself; she did not understand why her parents said that it was for her to give birth to her brother.
For the parents to have a second child, the girl also shouted out the voice of many "first-born children": It is not I who asked them to give birth.
The mother on the side was very excited to explain after seeing her daughter say this, but the sugar mother found a common psychological misunderstanding of the parents of the second child from those words, which was good to the first child on the surface, but in fact it was not the love that the child really needed.
A girl wears designer brands from an early age, but this is not necessarily the love she needs
In an argument, the mother thinks that the girl thinks too much, she is not bad for the girl, the girl wears more brand-name clothes than her brother, and she also wants to make the two children good.
But Sugar Mom wants to say that in the hearts of children, those competitions for brand-name clothes, snacks and the amount of pocket money are actually the competition for parents' "love". We often link fairness and materiality between two children, and in fact children need fair love more.
Younger children do not understand too much truth, they will see the number of snacks as their own weight in the hearts of their parents, and they will be unhappy if they eat a bite. When you grow up, you will be like a girl, more concerned about the attitude of your parents and the fairness of handling things.
In reality, many children are like this, just like their parents giving the girl a doll of her dreams in their arms, but she still sees her younger siblings sitting empty-handed in their parents' arms, and she is still jealous and envious.
Giving birth to a second child for Dabao may be an irresponsible lie
The only child era may come to an end, when the couple begins to fight for the second child, some people are very clear that they want to have both children, some people want their own pension to have security, and some couples simply like children, but to talk about having a second child for the sake of the treasure, it is more like an irresponsible lie.
In the story of the girl who called the police, she and her brother have always had a good relationship, but they are not satisfied with their parents' solution when the sisters and brothers have a conflict.
The girl in front also expressed her heart, and her parents said that it was for her to give birth to her brother, not the brother she actively wanted. After the birth of the second child, it is necessary to take up from the small baby, until it has the ability to take care of itself, it will take away part of the energy and love of the parents, resulting in the neglect of the treasure, and the girl will inevitably be wronged by this experience.
Parents or really have no time to take care of Dabao, or feel that Dabao should let the second treasure, in short, for Dabao, if the younger brothers and sisters are born, they will be wronged, not one more companion, then the parents' reason for "being good for him" is equivalent to an irresponsible lie.
Is having a second child a disaster? Don't let eccentricity affect feelings
No matter what the gender combination of the children is in a multi-child family, and no matter how much the age difference between them, since they have given birth to a child, they are each other's relatives.
Many brothers and sisters in life have worse feelings, and some relationship with parents' eccentricity, one small thing after another makes the child's mentality unbalanced, and finally attributes the reason for their unhappiness to one more child in the family, in fact, there is no deep contradiction between children.
In fact, if you think about it carefully, the sentence of giving birth to a second child for Dabao is not fair to Erbao, and every child deserves to have an independent personality, and should not be an accessory to brothers and sisters.
We should be thankful that we have a son or daughter who likes to compete for "love", because to be able to watch parents love other children means that they have some numbness and indifference in their hearts. At the end of the matter, the girl asked her father to apologize to herself, and the girl quickly forgave him after the father said sorry.
Some people say that girls make a big fuss, and some people say that they will also remember these 5 slaps in their hearts. But Sugar Mom only hopes that after this incident, parents can also understand the girl's feelings.
Candy Mom has something to say:
Brothers and sisters are real relatives, and parents are partial to one child, which is actually not good for the growth of two children. Favored children are often fearless and difficult to discipline, and neglected children may have to spend their lives to heal their childhood and do the fairness of love, so as not to affect the feelings between children and bring them closer to parent-child feelings.
【Today's topic】Do you think that the phrase "give birth to a second child for the sake of dabao" is a lie?