[Junior high school boy who watches yellow videos all night] Case: Zhang Yu, male, 15 years old, junior high school student. Because he was found by his mother watching a yellow video, he came to do psychological counseling. Zhang Yu studied very well in school,

【Junior high school boy who watches yellow videos all night】

Case: Zhang Yu, male, 15 years old, junior high school student. Because he was found by his mother watching a yellow video, he came to do psychological counseling.

Zhang Yu studied well in school, was introverted and easy-going, and was deeply liked by his parents, teachers and classmates. The mother was very sad and confused when she found out about this, and she did not know what was wrong with the good child.

With the development of the consultation, Zhang Yu revealed that he did not dare to make deep friends with his classmates, for fear of saying the wrong thing and doing the wrong thing, the classmates looked down on him, and did not dare to contact the girls.

The counselor found that Zhang Yu's mother was relatively strong, staring at the child everywhere, training at any time, even if she went to the counseling center. Zhang Yu told the consultant that his father was a taciturn person, who had little communication with himself, and usually went to work early and returned late, "Quite busy." I don't know what he's busy with. ”

analyse:

It can be seen that Zhang Yu is dissatisfied with his father. Many children in many families often complain, some children evaluate their fathers as "never actively chatting with me", "only know how to make money, do not care about me at all", "only when I make mistakes, my father will criticize or educate me", and even think that their fathers ignore them because they hate them. But in fact, every parent loves his children deeply, and there are two very important reasons why children will have such a big misunderstanding with their fathers, the first is that the father is not good at expressing his feelings, and the second is that some fathers will hold such a view: educating children is a woman's business.

Fathers often spend most of their time and energy on work or career, and put the task and responsibility of parental education on the child's mother, which will make many children feel that their father is a "machine that only makes money" and will be sad for the father's neglect. In order to get their father's attention, they often risk being criticized and scolded, and do some funny or bad behavior to attract their father's attention. The father's neglect will cause a great deviation in the child's behavior, and if the child continues to repeat these behaviors to gain attention, over time, this behavior will become the child's habit, and then make the child develop an extreme personality.

In addition, for children, fathers are not only authoritative educators, but also guides in their gender role positioning. Psychologists have found that the lack of paternal love and the neglect of fatherhood can lead to a child's gender identity not being successfully completed. For boys, the father is a role model for their gender role positioning, and the lack of father role in family education often makes it impossible for boys to successfully complete the role identity. Just like Zhang Yu in the case, he lacks the self-confidence of a boy, does not dare to associate with classmates of the opposite sex, and can only get the release of sexual energy and the satisfaction of sexual desire in the yellow video.

In the education of children, the love of a father and the love of a mother are very different. Mothers often play the most important role in a child's development, especially in early childhood, where the child's love and care mainly comes from the mother. In fact, the father's love also has a very important significance in parent-child interaction and education, many of the child's psychological qualities depend on the interaction with the father, and the deviation of the mother's education of the child also needs the father's immediate correction, as the child's father, need to be paid great attention to. #Heart Qing Plan ##心理咨询师说 #