This morning I went to the morning market with my grandmother, and I saw someone selling meat sandwich buns, so I went to buy them. Me: Boss, bring me a meat sandwich bun, put the rest less, just put more meat for me, put more for me

This morning I went to the morning market with my grandmother, and I saw someone selling meat sandwich buns, so I went to buy them. Me: Boss, give me a meat sandwich bun, put the rest less, put more meat for me, put more for me, put more on me, put more on me. My grandma: Well, you still want the boss to give you a pig! I:

2. The brother-in-law is particularly good at playing games, hitting himself from the top three in the class to the bottom three. Today, I wore flip-flops and went again, but I didn't expect to be caught by the old man. The old man took him home and warned him to go to the Internet café and break his leg. The brother-in-law said: You broke my leg and I have to go again! The old man immediately kicked, and he shouted while hiding: My toothpaste, toothbrush, shower gel, quilt, are still in the Internet café!

3, female colleagues borrowed me 800 yuan, half a year does not pay back, you say she has no money, every day to dry luxury goods. Today, I couldn't bear it anymore and asked her, "Can I pay the money back?" She said, "Brother, allow me a few more days, otherwise I will invite you to dinner at the hotel today, even if it is to apologize to you." "I refused, even 800 can not afford, but also lied to me to go to the hotel to eat, maybe still want me to pay money, a meal of hundreds, in case you eat can not rest ah, and hundreds?

4, I feel that all the unreliable men in the world who can't talk have been met by me, until one day, after I heard the conversation between the husband and wife next door, I was relieved! Lao Wang's daughter-in-law said: "Husband, in two days it will be our tenth wedding anniversary. God is not magical! Lao Wang said with a cigarette in his mouth: "Yes, someone else has already left you!" ”

5, Xiaoming buckled very much, has not made a girlfriend, and finally today's blind date, he took his sister to dinner. To the restaurant, Xiaoming: waiter, come to a cucumber, cold mixed egg, potato stew hot pot, and then a potato under the hot pot, and finally a bottle of 82 years of Coke. Waiter: Hello boss, your dish will come up immediately, that is, our store does not have 82 years of Coke. Bob: So what do you have in '82? Waiter: Our hostess is 82 years old.

6, tonight my boyfriend sent me downstairs to my house, holding me and not letting go. I said, "Don't let go yet!" My dad should have seen it on the balcony, he will come down right away, you don't run yet, he said, see you again and kill you! After the boyfriend listened, he hugged you tighter and said, "This time I won't run, I'll hold you like this!" "I was moved to cry. The boyfriend cried again and said, "I can't run back anyway." ”

7, 520 is meaningless to me, after work to call the online car home, did not expect the driver is an ex-boyfriend, the poor boy who had nothing at that time, has driven on the Land Rover? Before getting out of the car, I asked my ex-boyfriend: Can we go back again? The ex-boyfriend hesitated for a moment and said softly: Yes! Me: Really? Ex-boyfriend: Well, I have to give thirty dollars to go back.

8. In order not to let his family be cut off, the brothers married the widow who had been widowed for many years in the village. After marriage, the brothers wanted sons, but his wife always gave birth to daughters, and when she had her fifth child, she was a son. The brothers also wanted to have another son, and the sixth child was a daughter. I asked him: Brother, after giving birth to a number of children, do you want to be reborn? Raising a child these days is not easy. The brother scratched his head and said, "Alas, I am not born, I am not born, I am not born, I am reborn, and I cannot fit the hukou book."

9. In Chinese class, Xiao Qiang was sleeping on the table, when the teacher asked him: "Xiao Qiang, you make a question sentence." Xiao Qiang was overwhelmed: "Teacher, are you asking me?" Teacher: "Very well, recreate a prayer sentence." Xiao Qiang: "Teacher, I didn't hear clearly, please say it again!" Next, recreate an exclamation sentence. Xiao Qiang bowed his head and said, "It's too difficult!" I won't. "Well answered, sit down."

10, the genetic gene is really so powerful, others will know that I am my father's son at a glance. I had a scar-like mark on my forehead, and my dad had it on his head, too much. Later, after graduating from college, when I talked about this matter again, my mother finally couldn't help but tell the truth: "When you were young, your father loved you very much, often threw you high, once did not catch it, smashed the edge of the bed, there was blood everywhere, your grandfather came over in anger, and gave your father a crutch!" ”

1 "I've been with her for six years, but today I ended this relationship" "Don't be sad, you see I've been single for so many years, and I haven't had a good life." Women, go away, there will be opportunities later. Besides, she's not a fuel-efficient bird either, as far as I know, there are two of your buddies who have rolled the sheets with you behind your backs..." "No, I mean I'm married to her, I just want to ask you for a share of the money, you can really block me..."

12, today at noon idle bored, just swap the wireless mouse USB head on the colleague's notebook to the other machine plug in, and then flash people to eat! Back an hour later, the two guys are still fiddling with the computer, constantly changing the USB port, plugging in and out of the mouse, reinstalling the driver, restarting the computer repeatedly, hahaha! Guess what happened?。。。 I was beaten!

13, with a female colleague Band-Aid (nickname) on a business trip, when back it was already dusk. I chanted: Look at the desert, the sand is like snow... She was suddenly. Shout out to your mom! Then I took her to my house. Then my mother became her mother-in-law, and on the wedding day, my mother-in-law posted eight big characters on the wedding car: the goods have been sold, and there is no return.

14, Xiao Wang xue driver's license tuition paid 3600, and the coach won the coach 4500, and sent the winning money to the coach that night. The next day, he was arranged for the exam by the coach, and the coach no longer dared to fight him against the landlord.