How did you become less impetuous? I don't know if you have had such an experience, going to the cinema to see a movie is often able to watch a whole movie in its entirety, and downloading it at home is often not watched

How did you become less impetuous?

I don't know if you have ever had such an experience, going to the cinema to see a movie is often able to watch a whole movie in its entirety, and downloading it at home, often can't watch it for a few minutes, and feels like a waste of time.

Some small partners analyzed:

1, may be because we spent money, formed a sunk cost, must be watched, otherwise sorry for our movie tickets.

2. Some people think that it is the psychological reason for the presence of others, and we are embarrassed to see halfway out of the scene.

3. Some people say that the sound effect of the movie theater is incomparable at home.

I used to be such a person, the movie is obviously looking at the content (except for some special effects movies), why can you watch it in the cinema, but you can't watch it in such a comfortable environment at home. Why is that?

Friends are analyzing from the external environment, but in my opinion, the fact that you can watch a movie at the cinema and watch it at home for a few minutes is that the external environment masks your inner anxiety. At home, our hearts are completely exposed, but it is difficult for us to find out.

A movie usually has nearly half an hour in front of the preparation, but unfortunately, we can't wait, we are in a hurry to do something, in fact, it is difficult for us to say clearly.

1. Why can't we always live in the moment, even if it is play?

A while ago, I was invited by a friend to visit his house. During that time I was busy preparing for the counselor exam, and I also had some other reading and study plans.

Psychologically, I rejected: going to a friend's party at the time when I was going to study, and just chatting and drinking tea, there was no actual benefit, but considering that this friend was a friend I had played with since I was a child, and he had invited several times, I couldn't get away with it.

The ambivalence has begun to brew from this moment on, and although I have promised my friend, I always feel a kind of unclear anxiety in my heart. My mind was a mess, and I didn't know if it was good or bad to make this decision.

Going to a friend's house, the warm hospitality of friends, the new house that my friend just moved into, the chic decoration, the brand new furniture, all the time aroused my great interest.

In the past, I might have a pleasant conversation with my friends about the price of the house, location, occupancy rate, the cost of the decoration, the material of the decoration, the market situation, etc., and gained a lot of interesting and important information from it, while enhancing each other's friendship. But at that moment, my mind could never be integrated with all the circumstances of the moment.

I watched "Run, Brother" on TV and couldn't find a topic or two to talk to a friend about.

From time to time, I looked at my phone to see if wechat was looking for me; I brushed the circle of friends five or six times in a few minutes, but in fact, I couldn't see anything, and I didn't remember anything when I looked in.

It didn't take long for me to look at my friend's clock from time to time, like a needle felt.

I always respond mechanically to my friends' questions and small talk: "Yes," "It is true," and "This has been a hot thing lately," but only to these mechanical responses.

Suddenly, my friend asked me, "Do you have anything to do?" ”

I replied subconsciously, "No." ”

At that moment, I woke up like a dream, and after a few cursory conversations about my recent work, I left my friend's house with ambivalence and chaotic emotions. On the way home, I received a WeChat message from a friend: "How to sit down and talk about being so absent-minded, is there something wrong with me?" ”

It was a true friend who could be so direct, and I replied, "It's okay, I have a heart." ”

I was so anxious that all the mental manifestations were hanging on my face, what the hell was I anxious about.

I do have something to do, but am I really too tight to go to a friend's party? Am I really too busy to have any time? If I spend this time teaching myself at home, will I be able to guarantee that I am 100% committed and not waste time? I'm anxious like this now, so what will I do later?

I made myself very nervous and diligent every day, in order to take one more certificate and learn a little more knowledge, I almost squeezed out the rest of my time outside of work, but it seemed that I was not happy, and I was even more unsettled.

2. Eat when eating, sleep when sleeping?

There was once a fable about a conversation between a young monk and an old monk, and the little monk asked, "Master, don't you always talk about Zen?" What exactly is Zen? ”

The old monk was calm, knocked on the little monk's head, closed his eyes, and said, "Zen is eating when it's time to eat, and sleeping when it's time to sleep." ”

"Eat when it's time to eat, sleep when it's time to sleep, live in the moment." Everyone understands this. It's easy to just know, but it's hard to do.

What we often see is that when we eat, we think about work and have not done it, but when we sleep, we think about life. Even if you are extremely sleepy at this time, you still don't want to fall asleep so quickly, because once you close your eyes and stop thinking, even if the day has passed, today's problems have not been solved, and tomorrow will still retrace yesterday's path with doubts.

What a good thinker, but this kind of thinking is used in the wrong time, the wrong occasion, a little better is just late sleep caused by nervous decline, not a little directly open eyes until dawn.

At the end of the day, it's because of anxiety.

We can't enjoy the present because there are other important things in our minds that are not being done, and our minds cannot carry so many things at the same time.

Long-term, near-term, big, small, urgent, important, we don't realize that the problem is never that we are too busy to have time, nor is it that we are considering whether to go to a friend's party, that is not worth it, and it is not that we have to give up social gatherings, time can give full play to its value.