1, the sister-in-law has lived in my house for more than a month, today the wife said to the sister-in-law: Sister, I found that you came to this month a lot lighter.? The sister-in-law said: This is not the credit of the brother-in-law.? old

1, the sister-in-law has lived in my house for more than a month, today the wife said to the sister-in-law: Sister, I found that you came to this month a lot lighter.? The sister-in-law said: This is not the credit of the brother-in-law.? The wife immediately became serious, and then asked: What happened to your brother-in-law? I was not convinced, and said: You see your sister, eating with me is very delicious, and the weight has increased a lot. The sister-in-law skimmed her lips and said: That's because flowers can absorb the nutrients in cow dung, and my flowers will only be smoked by cow dung!??

2, my cousin is 30 years old, but he doesn't even have a girlfriend, I remember once he went on a blind date. But my cousin didn't feel anything about this girl, and he hated that people were too fat, so I said: Deep contact is good, fat girls have good tempers. My cousin gave me a blank look: Pull it down, like you, I didn't see what was good!!! The other day he was going to get married, and the bride was the girl, and I asked him how he liked it again??? Cousin: Don't say, I am really good-tempered and gentle when I touch it, much stronger than you!!!

3. Having dinner with my buddies, suddenly I asked him a very personal question: How does it feel for your brother to kiss a girl once? Dude thought for a moment: face macro, and then burned all day! Me: Haha, I didn't expect you to be shy! The buddy sighed: Hey, it wasn't when I kissed her that my rich husband found out, and I was slapped by more than a dozen people for an afternoon!

4, just met the girlfriend for half a month, suddenly one day crawled in my brother's arms and cried, saying that her family business, dad is very powerful, definitely want to make a deal with her marriage,,, my brother saw her father nervously, the result... Her father was selling buns and had a crush on the guy next door who fried fritters

5, my son went to kindergarten this year, my wife and I sent the children to school, on the way have been worried that the children will cry. Because it is a brother who attends a small class for a year, the security guard at the school gate asks that only one parent can go in, and the wife takes the child in. After a long time, my wife finally came out. A little excited to describe to me the child crying. How do you coax your child... I'm excited. I said: Look, the child ran out crying. The wife's face changed, and she quickly looked back. I laughed...!

6. I studied hard for 12 years and finally got admitted to the university of my choice. The class leader is a bully and very economically minded, but he has a shortcoming, and he often goes out of his way to pick up contract classmates to fall in love. He took the initiative privately and wrote love letters for those male and female classmates who were not very interesting, and really succeeded a lot. That time at dinner together, I asked him curiously why he was so enthusiastic. He took a deep breath of his cigarette and said slowly, "You're so stupid! In this way, you don't have to send double copies with your share of money! ”

7, I bought spicy hot plan to pack and take away, said to the boss: don't put spicy, put spicy do not give money! The boss swore an oath: as long as you say it, you will never let go. The first one was spicy, and the boss looked at me and said: It's okay, I'll keep it for myself. The second part was spicy again, and the boss said: It's okay, I'll give it to my wife. The third one was spicy again, and the boss said to me: You go, I won't sell it to you.?

8, the sister-in-law graduated from college and went to work at a financial company, and it was very cold that day, and she dated a rich second generation. The sister-in-law deliberately did not wear a coat, hoping to give the rich second generation a chance to perform. Halfway through their date, my sister-in-law said, "It's so cold today!" I forgot to wear a coat. Fu Er Dai replied: "It's okay, it's okay, fortunately I remember to wear it, otherwise it would really be the same as you, you see the stupid look you froze." ”

9. A man asked the nurse: "Nurse, my body is already in good shape, when can I be discharged?" The nurse looked at him: "You are already in good health, but you can't be discharged." The man got angry: "Why! Why can't I be discharged from the hospital after I am in good health! Nurse: "Don't forget, you're in a psychiatric hospital!" What's the use of good health! ”???

10. Dad made 85 million yuan in business, and directly bought me a house in tomson. Just a few days after moving, I saw a mother and daughter living on the second floor, and that girl was simply a goddess in my heart. I heard my colleagues say that if you want to get rid of the order, you must first get the mother-in-law, so I go to the future mother-in-law every day to send tenderness and courtesy. Finally today, the future mother-in-law spoke: I know your intentions, I actually have feelings for you, that is, I am older than you are more than 20 years old, can your family agree? This script is not right, you listen to my explanation ah...

11. After graduating from high school, I came to the legendary special chef training school, New Oriental Chef Culinary Academy. After a year of study, I came home on a whim and wanted to show my hand. I chose the simple but most revealing of my knife skills, shredded green pepper potatoes. I took a kitchen knife and cut it very quickly, and I didn't bother to cut my finger, threw the knife away, and went to find a Band-Aid bandage. Not much later, my mother ran from the kitchen and asked me nervously: What is the cut? How much to cut off? I was touched and said: It's all right, Mom, cut off a little meat, it's good to be connected to the skin. The mother was relieved: then good, this potato shredded can be eaten with confidence!

#Funny Moment# #年度搞笑名场面 #