1, a driver big brother is smart! Forget to bring a driver's license, the idea is not good to meet the traffic police! Suddenly the driver's big brother is in a hurry! Without waiting for the traffic police to let him stop, he slowly drove to the front of the traffic police

1, a driver big brother is smart! Forget to bring a driver's license, the idea is not good to meet the traffic police! Suddenly the driver's big brother is in a hurry! Without waiting for the traffic police to let him stop, he slowly drove to the traffic police, nodded his head and said, "I left first!" Go home for dinner in the evening! When the time comes, I'll be calling you!" The two traffic policemen were stunned and laughed! After watching the driver's big brother drive away! A traffic policeman asked another traffic policeman: "What kind of relative are you?" Another traffic cop said, "Isn't that your relative?"

2, just got engaged last year, stayed at my father-in-law's house, I slept with my father-in-law, and my wife slept with my mother-in-law. That night my father-in-law went out to play poker and didn't come back until four o'clock in the morning, and told me: If your mother asks, you say you'll be back at twelve. After dinner in the morning, my mother-in-law asked me: When did your father come back last night? I said: It's almost twelve. The mother-in-law listened to the scolding: Little bunny cub, you know that you are not honest! Your dad has recruited, and you still lie... Afterwards I asked my father-in-law: Why don't you prompt it? The father-in-law laughed awkwardly and said: A person is scolded for being too lonely! Instantly killed!?

3. The father-in-law got a brain tumor, and before he died, he called his mother-in-law to his side and said, "Wife, after I die, you must bury me in the place of extreme yin, that is, the kind of place where the TV will become a zombie!" The mother-in-law asked doubtfully, "Why?" Father-in-law: "Have you forgotten that I still have two gold teeth?" Mother-in-law: "What does this have to do with where to bury, if you are reluctant, I will immediately help you pull it off!" Father-in-law: "Not now, we must wait until I turn into a zombie and then pull out!" Turning into a zombie, those two teeth can grow several times longer! ”?

4. Working as a waiter in a hot pot restaurant, he was fired because he failed to add water to the customer in time. Later, I bought a train ticket and planned to go to work in an electronics factory in a foreign country. On the train, the buddy sitting next to me had been nibbling on the pig's trotters, and I wanted to eat them too. So I pulled out a few walnuts and smiled and asked him if he wanted them, and he shook his head. Then, out of courtesy, he pulled out a pig's trotter and asked me: Are you going to eat the pig's trotter? I immediately grabbed it and said, "Thank you!"

5, when I was young and crazy, there was a girl who was willing to lose her life for me. She said firmly: If you pester me again, I will die!? When I was poor, there was a girl who was willing to go to Huangquan with me. Her eyes were red and she said: If you don't pay me back, I will die with you!? alas!? How infatuated women in the world are, but they still can't make me stop and stay, and I still want to come to lament...

6. To meet a blind date, the girl asked: Do you have a car, a house and a deposit? Me: The family has only a few acres of land and tens of thousands of dollars in savings. Girl: I don't mind these material conditions, as long as the boys are good to me. When I was secretly happy, the girl asked again: Do you like to eat pork? Me: I like to eat. The girl said lightly: I don't like to eat pork, I think we are not suitable! I:......

7. My mother took the two liqun and a box of two pots to attend the wedding and took me to a relative's house as a guest. The relative was so enthusiastic that he had to stay at his house for dinner. During the dinner, my relative asked me, "Do you have a girlfriend?" Me: "We're already engaged and planning to get married on The First of October." Relative: "Great, how is your job now?" Me: "Very good, can earn more than 500,000 a year." Relative: "Did you buy your house?" Me: "There is a set in the city, and I plan to buy another sea view villa!" The relative smiled happily: "This child's condition is recovering well, and I remember biting people last year." ”

8, sauerkraut cake, one is not enough to eat, two and too much. I nagged my girlfriend about this, and my girlfriend patted me on the shoulder, and I'll fix it tomorrow morning. As soon as I arrived at the office, my girlfriend brought me breakfast. Said he bought me a sauerkraut pie, a big packet. Open it to see that the whole big electric cake is baked with a complete mille-feuille cake, folded up, wrapped in sauerkraut in the middle, more than three pounds.

9, I told the nurse: pretending to be my girlfriend once thirty thousand, she agreed, and less than three months later she ran to me angrily and asked me, how long are you thirty thousand times, it will not be a lifetime. I asked her how long you thought it would be appropriate, and she smiled and said, "As long as you don't want the jewelry your parents gave me back, it will take as long as possible." It feels like this is going to be a long-term plan!

10. When she was an alumnus with her wife, she was recognized as the school flower of the whole school, and her white skin and beauty stood in the eyes of everyone. One time when we were in school, we had a fight, and she wanted to learn to smoke. So I went to the supermarket to buy cigarettes and handed the boss 20 yuan: the boss gave me a package of 520! As a result, the boss found 19 pieces and gave a 502 glue to the daughter-in-law. From that time on, the daughter-in-law vowed not to smoke for the rest of her life!

11. After working for a year, I became a department manager, and since then I have always socialized every day. Mountain treasures and seafood, every day is too much nutrition, daughter-in-law said that I am a lot fatter. So I started dieting to lose weight, and in order to push myself, I insisted on recording my weight every day, and then generating a chart in the table. I was at work today, and the hr manager came to discuss work with me and happened to see my desktop. He thought about it for a while, and then whispered in my ear, "That, can you reveal which bone ticket you are?" The trend is pretty good! ”

#Funny Moment# #年度搞笑名场面 #