1, the little niece had to sleep with me at night, just drilled into the bed for less than two minutes the little niece said with a look of disgust: Aunt, don't you sweep the bed, what is in the bed, I am dead,

1, the little niece had to sleep with me at night, just drilled into the bed for less than two minutes the little niece said with a look of disgust: Aunt, don't you sweep the bed, what is in the bed, I am dead, I quickly opened the quilt. A smell of stinky farts greeted her, and the little niece laughed breathlessly: My mother said that I must have farted too much baked sweet potatoes today, let me sleep with you!

2. In high school, in order to improve my English score, the teacher changed me to a lesbian table with good English. One day, I saw the words: "husband." I was a little impressed and inaccurate, so I asked my table mates with words: "Wife?" The table mate replied, "No, husband." I always felt that it was my wife's meaning, so I hooked up with her: "Wife! Not to be outdone, she said, "Husband! "It was very loud, I shouted for 5 minutes, and found that the classroom was suddenly quiet..."

3. During the summer vacation, I worked odd jobs in a restaurant when I was in high school. One day I was serving food and saw my father bring a customer to dinner. Dad suddenly sneered: "Look, this year, if you don't study well, you come here to work, and you are still clumsy." So the customers also began to laugh at me, and the more they laughed, the more vigorous they became. Finally, after serving the dish, dad came and said, "Son, sit down and eat together." "I'll never forget the surprised expression on the customer's face.

4. Take 8 workers to the restaurant to eat seafood buffet, 38 pieces of one. A total of 80 pounds of crabs, 120 pounds of lobsters, 90 large abalone, and 30 pounds of oranges were eaten. When I was ready to leave after checkout, I also brought 16 bottles of red wine. The waiter gave them a blank look and said, "You can't take it outside here." The owner of the construction site shouted: "Then give me another 200 pounds of pippi shrimp." The store manager hurriedly walked over: "Let them take it and go, hurry up and let me go!"

5, the family's baby is two years old today, home from work wife mysteriously said: "Today I taught the baby two things, you quickly lay on the ground and pretended to be dead." I screamed and fell to the ground, and the baby rushed over to listen to my heartbeat, and I was secretly happy: "Teach the baby first aid, and then continue to pretend to be dead." "As a result, the baby listened for a while and then hurried away, hearing him drag something over. I was beautiful, a slipper to my face, climbed up to see my wife smiling on the side of the face almost down.

6. Last night, walking around the square downstairs, I saw a girl with a very high appearance sitting on a bench, so I went to sit down and prepare to talk. The girl looked down and played with her umbrella, quietly not speaking, I thought she should be a child shy. I asked her, "Beauty, it's so cold and it's not raining, what are you doing with an umbrella?" She said to me coldly, "Use it for self-defense!" ”

7, our company's beautiful sister came to me and said, let me be his boyfriend for a few days, pay per time, at least in the end can earn ten thousand. Having money and having women, this kind of benefit I may refuse! After arriving at my sister's house, I had a good chat with the second elder, and I was very satisfied, so I asked me when the two of them got married. I accidentally dripped oil on my pants while eating, and my aunt helped me wash them and let me go take a shower. After taking a shower, I found that there was no towel, so I shouted, I didn't expect to get used to it at home, and I shouted with my mouth: Mom, towel! Half a minute later, my sister's mother smiled and handed me the towel, patted me on the head, and said: Silly child, really sensible, Dad said boy, change your mouth very quickly? This "mom" called your mom no longer have to sleep badly ???!

8. About twenty minutes after the start of an exam, a girl began to kick the stool in front of the table and wanted to ask questions. At this moment, a large ceiling fell on her desk, and there was a big movement, and the whole class was startled. The girl buried herself in the answer, and after the exam, she said indignantly: It's too terrible, just a little bit of cheating thoughts have been condemned by heaven.

9, I was watching TV, the boyfriend in the house suddenly shouted: I won the lottery, won five hundred! After listening to it, I happily dragged him to Haidilao, thinking that he had won the lottery, I ate even more happily. After eating, I asked him to pay the bill, and the boyfriend said to me with a confused face: I didn't bring money, didn't you pull me here? I said doubtfully: Didn't you just say that you hit five hundred? Boyfriend: Oh my God! That was a win in the game, and I won a piece of equipment worth 500!

10, I like a little girl in the company, on Valentine's Day, I planned to ask her out to confess, and bought 99 roses for her, but she politely refused me. Frustrated, I walked down the street with flowers in my hand, looking down and accidentally bumping into a passing girl. I quickly apologized, handed the flowers to her and said: Happy Valentine's Day to you! And then went. The girl chased after her and said, "Hey! Are you available? Can you please watch a movie? Happiness is coming too hard! I just want to tell you that happiness is somewhere in front of you.....

11. Swipe your credit card to buy a Xiaomi Mi 10 Extreme Edition, and play games at night. My wife came in after taking a shower, pretended to be shy and asked me: "Brother, see if I am fat again??? I was stunned for a moment, and said very appropriately and seriously: "Where are you fat??? Look at your skinny skin and bones!!! The wife listened, and a smile instantly broke out on her face, and she asked a little embarrassedly: "Really??? I said calmly, "It's just that the skin is a little thick!!! ”

#Funny Moment# #年度搞笑名场面 #