1, yesterday the daughter-in-law went to the bathhouse to take a bath, came back to me and said that there was a woman with a very large boy who also bathed in the bathhouse, and the daughter-in-law asked the woman: Big sister, how old is your child, and bring it in

1, yesterday the daughter-in-law went to the bathhouse to take a bath, came back to me and said that there was a woman with a very large boy who also bathed in the bathhouse, and the daughter-in-law asked the woman: Big sister, how old are your children, and also brought into the women's bathhouse to take a bath? The woman said: Still young, only 5 years and 7 months! The daughter-in-law said: Oh, my family has a husband of 5 years and 240 months, and I will bring it in next time!???

2, my aunt introduced me to a girlfriend, she is a single parent, my brother once went to her house. The future mother-in-law asked, "What do you do?" Me: "Auntie, I'm in a small business!" The future mother-in-law: "What did your parents do?" Me: "He is a small businessman, I am also a single parent, there is only my father at home, my family has a house of seventy square meters, a 2010 Hyundai car, and 290,000 deposits!" The future mother-in-law: "I think it's okay, after all, it's not easy to meet such a stupid person." Me: "My dad said that if her mom agreed, she would marry her mom home!" The future mother-in-law: "Roll..."

3. In junior high school, there was a math teacher in his fifties. He is very strict, and likes to smoke with Erlang's legs crossed after class. One day in self-study, a math teacher in his fifties sat on a lectern and became addicted to smoking. He took out his cigarette and smoked twice, spat out two circles of smoke, looked around, and saw that something was wrong. The math teacher slowly stepped off the podium, snuffed out the cigarette, looked left and right, and pulled out two smoking classmates. "If you don't learn well at a young age, you learn to smoke." Math teacher said. "Teacher, you smoke on the podium every day, we all watch it, we don't learn." Two students said. "

4. When I slept dimly in the morning, I vaguely heard my wife crying, and I opened my eyes to see my wife crying in the mirror. I asked her, "What's uncomfortable?" Wife: "The hairstyle is too ugly, and the face is significantly bigger." "I immediately took a taxi and took her to the best barber shop in the central part of the city. After waiting anxiously outside for two hours, the barber pushed the door open, sighed, and said, "I'm sorry, we've tried our best..."

5. Go on a business trip and take the train when you come back. Next to me sat a beautiful woman, sitting in a car and suddenly crying. The conductor looked very distressed, so he stepped forward and asked, "Hello, is there anything that can help you?" Beauty wiped her tears and said, "I've sat and stood." The conductor was stunned, and then reacted instantly and said, "Okay, then please make up the ticket." ”

6. The father of the neighbor next door is 110 years old and passed away yesterday. When the funeral was held, because Tianmang was not manpowered enough and lived relatively close, he invited me to help entertain. There is no reason why this kind of thing is not helpful. After the end, the upstart found me holding my hand and thanked me for my help. I said excitedly: "As the saying goes: a rich person holds a money field, and a person who has no money can only hold a crematorium for me who has no one and no money!" ”"

7, the old man is a construction worker, recently found a construction site in the field to work, the result of the work at height accidentally fell to his death, the site owner compensation of 8 million. After the money arrived, the mother-in-law became rich overnight, and many relatives and villagers went to the mother-in-law to borrow money. After they borrowed money, they didn't pay it back, so I accompanied my mother-in-law to go door to door to collect debts. When we arrived at the home of a distant relative, when we heard that we had come to ask for an account, the relative immediately scolded: Is your conscience eaten by a dog? As soon as I heard this, I was instantly angry: What do you mean by this? Distant relatives said: Your mother-in-law has so much money, just this 200,000 must let us pay back, we are all relatives, you are not without this 200,000 yuan can not live, our family is so poor, it is not easy to repay the money, ah, now people's hearts are broken! When I heard these words, I was confused at the time, what kind of Divine logic is this!

8. When I went to work today, the manager was criticizing me for my unserious work attitude. Suddenly a phone call came, and the manager hurriedly picked up the phone. I sounded as if his wife had asked him why he had changed his WeChat password? The manager held the phone between his face and shoulders, and said slowly and logically: It is like this, the number was stolen a few days ago, so it was changed, so it is, the phone said that the password is not convenient, I text you. Just six seconds, he frantically operated with both hands to delete some things in WeChat.?

9. Working as a teacher at Fudan University led to a female student getting pregnant before marriage. I was a responsible man, so I followed her home to meet her parents. When it was time to eat, I was afraid that the second meal would be awkward, so I pressed and pressed one of my own bowls with a rice spoon, and by the way, I also filled a bowl for my father-in-law. When I brought it to the table to prevent my brother-in-law from pouring me wine, the father-in-law saw that my bowl was not very full, so he took it and changed it with himself. But he can usually eat three bowls, and the bowl of rice pokes off a chopstick and does not finish eating...?

10. A bus broke down on a rough mountain road, and the man in the bus woke up from sleep. Suddenly, he found that the tourists were gone, not even the driver, and the car was driving slowly along the mountain road! The man trembled and shouted, "There is jewel! There are gems! "There's your head," said a voice from outside the car window, "the car is broken, we're pushing underneath, and you're the only one sleeping!"

11. My cousin and cousin are both working in the field, and there is only one uncle left in the family. Yesterday Uncle was unwell, and I drove him to the hospital for examination. Driving fast on the road, I accidentally hit a Porsche. The owner of the Porsche, a woman, got out of the car and scolded: "Your uncle, how do you drive the car!" Uncle rolled down the car window: "Girl, I am his uncle, I can say anything!" "The female owner blushed and drove away without compensation...?

#Funny Moment# #年度搞笑名场面 #