Lao Wang's daughter-in-law lay in my arms, pointed to the parrot in the birdcage and said, "When you will leave, dispose of it, and when Lao Wang returns, he will fly away" I asked, "Why?" Old Wang's daughter-in-law:"

Lao Wang's daughter-in-law lay in my arms, pointed to the parrot in the birdcage and said, "When you will leave, dispose of it, and when Lao Wang returns, he will fly away" I asked, "Why?" Old King's daughter-in-law: "This parrot can talk, and when lao Wang returns, he must tell us about our troubles" So I took the parrot home. Soon I was out on a business trip, and when I came back half a month later, as soon as I entered the door, my wife said to me: "Old Li, it's not good, your parrot flew away" I: "Ah~"

2, a person walking on the street to see a businessman selling parrots. He saw that the parrot was beautiful and asked the merchant whether the parrot could talk. The merchant said, "Of course! unbelief. You hold its right foot" The man shook the parrot's right foot according to his words. Only to hear the parrot say very clearly: "Hello! Hello! The man was very happy, and the merchant said, "You hold it on your left foot again." The man shook the parrot's left foot again, only to hear the parrot say very clearly, "Goodbye, goodbye..." The man was even happier. Immediately bought the parrot. I was overjoyed when I got home. Touch the parrot's left foot for a moment. Touch the parrot's right foot for a moment. The parrot also obediently said: Goodbye. Hello. Suddenly he had a sudden thought: What would it say if I held it on both feet together? He grasped both of the parrot's feet. Only to hear the parrot say loudly, "You want to throw me to death!?"

3, the girlfriend found a husband who is 12 years younger than her, worried that her husband is cheating, plans to go to the market, buy a talking tiger parrot to spy on her husband. The girlfriend asked the owner of the pet shop: "Can two parrots be kept in one cage?" The owner of the pet shop said sincerely, "No, two in a cage will fight." The girlfriend was thinking of meeting someone with a conscience, and the owner of the pet store added: "Or you can buy three, so that when the two fight, there will be people to fight." ”

4. After graduating from Huazhong University of Science and Technology, my husband worked as a math teacher in a primary school. This year, my son is also in kindergarten, and my husband often teaches him some math problems. That time the husband asked his son: bears, fawns, parrots together in a boat across the river, the bear weighs 19 kg, the fawn weighs 14 kg, the parrot weighs 6 kg, the boat can carry 35 kg, can they cross the river together? The son added the weight of the bear and the fawn, calculated that it was less than 35 kilograms, and he said: Yes. The husband shook his head and said, "You didn't take the weight of the parrot into account, did you?" The son said unconvincedly: The parrot will fly directly over!

5, A month of business trip I came home, found that everything is so harmonious, the female ticket attentively changed my slippers, there are delicious meals on the table, the only thing that makes me sad is that the parrot I raised for two years is dead, who can tell me why?

6, I look very similar to a doctor, often misunderstood, a little annoyed for a long time, and then I met someone who called me a doctor and I replied: "Hello! Are you sick now? Haha" "Hello! Welcome to our hospital! Haha" "Hello! Sick and not sick to the hospital! Haha" It is said that the doctor now has a bad reputation, and he is said to be neurotic.

7, a woman made a wish to the divine lamp, wanted to return to ancient times to become a shocking beauty, the divine lamp fulfilled her wish, she really appeared in an attic in the Song Dynasty, was ecstatic to go downstairs, facing Wu Song with a knife and came over: "Sister-in-law, you come over and I ask you something!" ”

8, the sister-in-law suffered from prenatal depression, the result was that the child was not saved during childbirth, and the sister-in-law directly did not want to kill herself. Because of the accident insurance, the insurance company lost more than 2 million yuan, and the brother took the money to marry a beautiful flight attendant, opened a barbershop, and lived a dashing life. That time, a white-haired old woman went to her brother's barber shop to dye her hair, and her brother told her 80 yuan. The old mother exclaimed: It's too expensive, is it 40 to dye half of it? Brother: Yes, as long as you want. The old lady said: Then dye my white hair black, and black hair will not have to be dyed!

9, Zhang San waiting for the plane at the airport, idle bored to stand on the weight machine, the screen shows: Zhang San, weighing 70 kilograms, flew to New York. He was very surprised, and ten minutes later, he stood on the machine wearing sunglasses, and the screen showed that Zhang San, weighing 70 kilograms, flew to New York. Zhang San was even more curious, he shaved off his beard, changed his clothes and came to the machine, the screen showed: Zhang San, weighing 70 kilograms, your plane flew away 20 minutes ago.

10, the first night of the New Year can not sleep, asked my daughter-in-law to sing to me, she said that she could not remember the lyrics, got up to get the mobile phone, and when she returned, she did not start singing for half a day. I secretly opened my eyes to see that the "what song will I sing" on Baidu on the mobile phone screen really blinded my eyes.

1 girlfriend had a birthday yesterday and carefully planned a birthday proposal a week in advance. Rose balloon streamers lit candle hearts, everything is so beautiful... When I delivered the ring on one knee, my dear eyes could not wear it, and I hurriedly explained with a white face, "In the spring, I obviously measured the finger circumference!" "The girlfriend actually cried and put on makeup.

12, today my buddies and I went to a rural friend as a groomsman, and the buddies actually got along with a bridesmaid. After dinner, we were all waiting for the cave room, but they secretly went out to press the road. Seeing the flowing fireflies, the two went to catch, and as a result, in the laughter and sweet romantic chase, the two fell into the pit on the side of the road together. Ah, what a wonderful Christmas!

13, one day, the two sisters were sleeping, the sister said to the sister: Sister mosquitoes today a lot of Oh ~ sister said: turn off the light mosquitoes can not see us, and then the sister really turned off the lights, suddenly a pair of fireflies flew in, the sister was very nervous to say: Sister miserable, mosquitoes carrying lanterns to find us ...

14, a group of mosquitoes go out to work. The staff agency said to them: "Manage to eat and live, and the salary is fixed every day." A mosquito asked, "What do you want to eat?" The staff agency said: "Clap red blood juice, special nutrition." Another mosquito asked, "So, what's the matter?" The agency also said: "Cobweb brand wire bed, very comfortable." “