Yi said that the gathering place for women's growth, may you not wear armor, you can resist thousands of life is not easy, welcome attention.
It is said that good love should be evenly matched, for a long time, I have a deep understanding, but when watching "The World", I found that love marriage is only equal in strength is not enough, there is another thing is also very important, otherwise the balance of strength will lose its temperature and become a sharp blade that hurts each other.
Their love is tough but solid
The Zhou family has three children, because of their different personality experiences, they also have different paths of love. Zhou Bingkun is the third oldest of the Zhou family, honest and enthusiastic to help people, Zheng Juan has a bad fate, she has children before marriage, and their love road is quite difficult.
First of all, the family did not agree, Zhou's father heard Zheng Juan's situation and resolutely denied, after the brother saw Zheng Juan, told Zhou Bingkun, Zheng Juan is a good girl, financial help can be, other do not think. Secondly, Zhou Bingkun and Zheng Juan are also restrained and tolerant of this love, for fear of bringing bad influence to each other.
They love each other deeply, but they also take care of each other carefully and do their best for each other.
Their love was finally recognized by their families, the Zhou family's parents were still brothers and sisters, and the neighbors praised Zhou Bingkun's good vision and married a good daughter-in-law, and Zheng Juan also felt that it was really happy, and she was very at ease when she married Zhou Bingkun.
However, from love to marriage, not everyone can do what they have paid along the way. Zhou's mother fell ill, seeing that the Zhou family's building would fall, Zheng Juan stood up to the public opinion and eyes of the people around her, and took her own child and blind brother into the Zhou family.
For half a year, Zheng Juan was alone with three children and a patient lying on the bed, and Zhou Bingkun did not have any news. All she could do was take care of everyone and the family.
Zhou Bingkun secretly sold the family's ancestral treasure for Zheng Juan, so that Zheng Juan could survive the most difficult moments in her life, and she also understood Zheng Juan, gave Nan Nan a name, and let the child grow up healthily.
It can be said that they have paid for each other, and these payments are not measured by anything who pays more and who pays less, but from the heart, they want to pay for each other, want to make each other live better, and this love is deep enough and more meaningful.
Their love goes high and low
There is another person in the play whose love can be described as vigorous, that is, Zhou Rong. For the love in her heart, Zhou Rong went to the mountains of Guizhou without hesitation, and despite all difficulties, she had to be with the poet Feng Huacheng. They lived in a cave and shared happiness and hardships for many years, and finally returned to Beijing to start a new life.
Zhou Rong was admitted to Peking University, and Feng Huacheng also resumed his work. Zhou Rong likes poetry, Feng Huacheng is very famous in the poetry industry, no matter from which aspect, they are evenly matched love, not to mention this love also has a romantic and shocking beauty.
However, according to the storyline in the book, they did not walk together for a lifetime, but there was a problem with their feelings, Zhou Rong suffered a betrayal by Feng Huacheng, and the two divorced. The love between the two is high and low, especially for Zhou Rong.
As far as the current plot is concerned, the bad love between Zhou Rong and Feng Huacheng has long been hidden, but they are not aware of it, especially Zhou Rong, so it is inevitable to part ways.
You see, evenly matched love can't make two people go on a lifetime, happy for a lifetime, because there is still something missing behind it.
Why is evenly matched love unhappy?
This problem is actually very easy to explain, that is, parity means that the power of two people to cope with love marriage is balanced, and at the same time, the other thing also needs to be balanced.
It is the payment, the intention of both sides to pay, the recognition of both sides, and the balance of both sides, which is very important.
The reason why Zhou Bingkun and Zheng Juan can have a firm love, although life is bitter, can have a sense of happiness, largely because both people are willing to pay, this payment is to give everything they have, is unreserved, is only your good pay, but also the other party's cherished pay.
I've met a girl who, because she's in a long-distance relationship, takes a couple of hours of a car every weekend to her boyfriend's city. I asked her if you felt that you valued this relationship more than the other party, because you were running between two cities every week, and this hardship was only most experienced by you.
The girl thought about it and nodded yes, but didn't understand why? I told her that because at this point, you give a little more, and the more you go back and forth, the more you will feel that the city is part of your life, and the boyfriend will slowly get used to your weekend and not remember to come to your city to see you.
Saying these words to this girl is not to make them unhappy, but to remind the girl that paying needs to be two-way and has boundaries, and unilateral payment can only move herself, which is human nature, and cannot blame the other party for not being considerate. This remark prompted the girl to make adjustments, and also made the relationship between the two people more harmonious and sweet.
Zhou Rong's love is precisely this kind of unilateral payment, and the two sides do not recognize each other's payment, which is the biggest hidden danger of their emotional problems.
At the beginning, Zhou Rong's efforts were also exhausted, but Feng Huacheng did not, he was originally in Guizhou to receive labor reform, Zhou Rong's arrival brought a lot of warmth to his life, so that he could get a little comfort under pressure.
If he has paid, it is also the meticulous care of Zhou Rong in life, and there is the guilt of kneeling twice. When Feng Huacheng knelt down for Zhou Rong's father for the first time and claimed that he must repay the Zhou family in the future, I thought that it might eventually become a form, just to alleviate the guilt in my heart.
The pay is not equal, and the recognition is not. Zhou Rong is a respected teacher in this remote mountainous area of Guizhou, while Feng Huacheng is undergoing labor reform, and the difference in nature has also caused the difference in the contrast between the two people's hearts. Zhou Rong, as the only girl in the family, is very good, and the sense of superiority is innate, she can't feel the pain of Feng Huacheng when she is called to drink, and Feng Huacheng does not feel that Zhou Rong has paid too much to some extent.
When he returned to Beijing, Feng Hua became able to choose to go to the library to work in the house, and everyone and he thought it was more suitable to go to the writer's association, but Zhou Rong did not approve of it, and felt that his choice was not wronged.
Zhou Rong suffered the betrayal of Feng Huacheng, to a large extent, Zhou Rong paid more, and the payment between them was unbalanced. Like a metaphor I saw in a book. If love is likened to a ham and egg breakfast, then in this breakfast, the pig pays and the chicken participates.
In this equally matched love, Zhou Rong paid, Feng Huacheng participated, and the result can be imagined.
The efforts of both parties are the stabilizer of love
Whether it is love or marriage, it is true that even strength is needed, but only equal strength and ignoring the balance of other aspects will also make love marriage come to an end. Rather than saying that whoever loves deeply will lose, it is better to say that whoever pays more in this love will cherish it more.
Two-way rushing makes love sweeter, and two-way giving makes love more stable. However, we must also pay attention to one point, that is, we cannot calculate gains and losses, and we cannot slight the other party's feelings of giving. Just like Zhou Bingkun wants to ask Zheng Juan to come to the house to help take care of her mother, and is worried that public opinion is unfavorable to Zheng Juan, and Zheng Juan is not afraid of those public opinions, but is worried about whether she will have any impact on Zhou Bingkun if she takes care of Zhou Bingkun.
When both people deny that there is an impact and are not afraid of being affected, a smile on each other is destined to make them go for a lifetime.
Good love should have to be evenly matched, but also have a two-way payment, and there are no gains and losses in this payment, there is recognition, and there are boundaries.
(The pictures are all from the screenshots of the TV series "The World of Man", if there is any infringement, please contact to delete)