1. On the first night of the wedding, the bride had already changed into a beautiful silk nightgown and lay on the bed. But an hour passed, and the bridegroom was still well dressed and looking out the window, and the bride reminded him impatiently

1. On the first night of the wedding, the bride had already changed into a beautiful silk nightgown and lay on the bed. But an hour passed, and the groom was still well dressed and looking out the window, and the bride reminded him impatiently: "What's wrong?" He replied, "Go to sleep first!" Leave me alone, because my mom told me that tonight was the most wonderful night I could ever see, so now I don't want to waste any second of the night view. ”

2. "A flight attendant I know is 26 years old and has been divorced twice. Curious, I asked her, "You're so pretty and in such good shape, how come you always get divorced?" She sighed and replied, "Because of domestic violence." After listening to it, I said very sympathetically: "You are really unlucky, how can you always encounter this kind of scum." The flight attendant said with some embarrassment: "I am angry and start to beat people." ”

3. Socializing and drinking, it was very late to get home, in the haze, I saw my mother was mopping the floor, I took out 200 pieces and stuffed it into my mother's hand. Me: Mom, give you some pocket money, don't let my daughter-in-law know. My mom took the money and yelled, "Are you drinking again?" Me: Shhh, how do you know that? Mom: You see clearly, I am your daughter-in-law. Also, where did this 200 bucks come from, say!! I.....

4 When I took the bus last time, a handsome guy standing next to me talked to me, and I had to add my friend, I saw that he was quite handsome, so I didn't refuse. Now it's been a week, I haven't said a word, and today I'm ready to block him. I didn't control myself, I sent him a message and asked him, why don't you talk to me after adding friends? The handsome man replied with a voice: I saw that someone took out your mobile phone that day, I saved the field, there is no other meaning.

5. My mother-in-law took me to drink happy wine, determined the location, and I handed over a Didi!

On the way, the mother-in-law suddenly "hissed" a loud fart, which startled me, and the driver master also quickly pulled over and stopped!

After the driver stopped, he took a puff of his cigarette and said slowly: "Big sister, fart is the cry of the unyielding soul of the unyielding soul you eat!" ”

The mother-in-law smiled, embarrassed, and said, "Master, hello literary and artistic fan!" ”

The driver shook his head and said, "But this shout is also too loud, I thought it was my car with a flat tire!" ”

6. The mother-in-law made 68 dishes, and when eating abalone, she accidentally stuck the fish bones in her throat, and it was useless to drink vinegar.

No way, I quickly took my mother-in-law to the hospital.

When I arrived at the hospital, I hung up a best 50 yuan expert number for my mother-in-law, and the old expert was more than 60 years old!

He glanced at his mother-in-law and said, "You gave this number back..."

I asked why, and the expert said, "You go hang up a 5-dollar regular number, I can't see where the fish bones are!" ”

7. Now I have successfully entered lanxiang technical school. On the eve of the college entrance examination, my mother and I had a conversation about the exam. I said: "Every year after the college entrance examination, there are many students who are self-destructive, and this year I don't know how many will die? My mother said lightly: "It is the adults who force the children to the end of the road, you see how good I am, I will never have hope for you." ”

8. After working as a waiter in a bar for two years, I was later taken in by a white fumei, so I quit my job to become the general manager of her company. We have a supervisor in our company, very talented, and every time he is a performance champion. I called him to the office and said to him, "It's hard for me to imagine what it would be like without you in the company." He said modestly: Don't say this, you look up to me too much. I said lightly: But, starting next Monday, I want to try, goodbye!

9. The niece of the sister-in-law's family is about the same age as the son, and the son goes to her aunt's house for two days on weekends. When he sent it back on Sunday, his aunt said with a flying eyebrow: This child is so naughty! Turn your home to the sky! I wondered: I'm glad to see you. His aunt: Can you not be happy! Turned over his uncle's private money and found me more than two thousand! I subconsciously touched my pockets, thankfully I carried them with me!

11. In the morning, I quarreled with the landlady, she drew a turtle on my face during my nap, pulled on her mosquito net at night, kicked me awake in the middle of the night to scratch her itch, it seems that soft rice hard to eat has nothing to do with me, there is no way who can make our situation embarrassing! Now the economy is sluggish, there are very few companies that are running well, and it is naturally difficult to find jobs, although I have a strong chef's qualification, but I still can't escape the fate of eating soft rice. Although the boss is a little older, but Xu Niang's semi-old charm is still there, people are not bad, or I did not recognize the reality, now a lot of new people in the company are waiting for the position, I still converge a little. Fight for a night without sleeping, scratch her itch, I thought I would be rewarded in the morning, but I was beaten up again, she blamed me for scratching her, other places are fine, mainly on the face can not see people ah! Now it's good, the great listed company, I am alone in management, and there is no one to share it for me, it is really deserved! I shouldn't have made a fuss with her in the first place, and I would have eaten soft rice hard to see the devil!

#Funny paragraph # #搞笑 #