1. Go eat noodles at noon. Opposite sits a couple, a bowl of noodles, the two meet head to head to eat together. Men also allocate beef to women. Because they were dressed a little plainly, I made up my mind

1. Go eat noodles at noon. Opposite sits a couple, a bowl of noodles, the two meet head to head to eat together. Men also allocate beef to women. Because they dressed a little plainly, I made up a moving story that life is not easy to share with. Soon another bowl of noodles came, and the woman excitedly pushed the original bowl to the man, and swallowed the new bowl herself.

2, cousin a roommate likes a schoolgirl, the elementary school sister in the fast food restaurant to work part-time. In order to get closer to her, her roommate also went there to work part-time. In order to perform better in front of the schoolgirls, every time the dirty work is tired, the housemates rush to do it. Just like that, a few weeks passed, and the roommate thought that he could successfully win the favor of the student. Who knew that the restaurant owner actually resigned the schoolgirl and gave the roommate a salary increase...

3, the boyfriend is drunk again, and when he gets home, he starts sleeping! The cargo scratched his leg, and when he got up in the morning, he said that I scratched it. I was suddenly displeased, saying that he had scratched himself, and this cargo would not admit it. As a result, I was in a hurry, reached out and scratched a stave on his leg, and shouted, "That's what I scratched, what can you do!" The boyfriend looked aggrieved: "No, I just think it looks good." ”

4, there is an old photo, my grandmother is holding me three years old standing on the platform, my parents are waving at me in the train, I am crying with my mouth open, and my upper and lower lips are connected to a saliva. I often take it out to see, lamenting the difficulty of life and the sadness of parting. Today, my grandfather told me that he took the photo, when my parents left me, it was to travel...

5, boyfriend Valentine's Day actually gave me a pair of slippers, said let me go farther and farther, and then it was gone. I don't know romance with my mom's boyfriend. My mother laughed a little: I think when your father went to work in the field, he came back with a fertilizer bag and said excitedly, wife, guess what I caught you? I guessed the little rabbit and kitten, and it turned out to be three toads. After listening to this, my heart was balanced a lot.

6, there is a large hotel to recruit a chef, this day came a candidate. When the owner of the hotel saw him, he asked, "To be a chef in my hotel, you have to have a unique job, what is your unique job?" The candidate thought about it for a moment and smiled: "If you want to talk about the best job, I am the best at firing squid." The hotel owner listened, slapped the table, and shouted: "That's my job, what right do you have to fire the squid!"

7, a girl walked into the personnel department of a large company and asked, "Do you want a female secretary?" "We'd rather hire you, Miss." But the current economic crisis, there is no work. "I don't care if there is work to do, as long as there is a salary!"

8, the brother's sister-in-law accidentally became pregnant, but the child's biological father left 500,000 yuan and ran away. I took a fancy to the 500,000 yuan and volunteered to marry her. Now we live very happily, today the son got up from the nap, the wife fed the water, the son refused to drink, pulled for half a day or did not drink. The wife said a little angrily: "You are not a three-year-old child, what is dragging, do not drink and pull down." "Then he left our father and son and left." I looked innocently at my son, who looked at me innocently. Baby, your mother is not wrong, you are not a three-year-old child, you are only two years old...

9, buddy worked in Africa for less than half a year, and I was envious when I saw him come back. He said that it was a big company, with high wages, good welfare, and drought and flood protection, and if it rained, it was also money to work, and it was a day's money to go to a day. So I followed, and I had been there for a year and a half, and it hadn't rained in that place!

10, "The more people are afraid of losing people, the more they care about other people's opinions." The more you care about other people's opinions, the more you will ignore your own feelings. The more you ignore your feelings, the more you desperately try to show others like a puppet. Finally, step by step, the true self is imprisoned in deep darkness. ”

11, the wife looked at a dress in the mall and asked the boss how much it was, and the boss said: The original price of two hundred and six gives you a cheaper two hundred to take away. The wife was a little dissatisfied, pointing to the sign outside the door and said, "Aren't you doing 20% off the whole event?" The boss immediately picked up the calculator and said, "The original price is 208% off." Then the wife happily paid two hundred and eight quick money, carried the clothes and left!

12, I thought about it and said, so let's do this, the two of us get married, 135 you sweep the toilet 246 I sweep the toilet, and then on weekends we go on vacation together, so that we are full and can enjoy life, you say okay? She nodded yes to me! Since then, we have become a couple who are worth hundreds of millions of toilets. I have also completed the task entrusted to me by the chairman!

13. The sister-in-law's fiancé disliked that she had serious athlete's foot and dissolved the marriage contract with the sister-in-law. After the sister-in-law returned home, she locked herself in the bedroom directly. Refusing to eat all day to find death and life has made us all anxious. The old man was very worried that his sister-in-law would hang herself, and in a hurry, he led me to knock open the door. At the moment when the door slammed open, we were stunned, the sister-in-law nibbled on the pig's trotter in her mouth, lay on the bed with Erlang's legs crossed and looked at us with a frightened face, and then my daughter-in-law and I silently closed the door and retreated, I really couldn't help but laugh out loud...

14, the new post-00 intern was particularly sad after being rejected by the female supervisor, and he drank like mud at dinner at night. We wasted all our strength to carry him back to the dormitory. After entering the room, he did not sleep in his own bed, and as a result, he had no choice but to let him sleep in the one of his colleagues opposite. As a result, as soon as the goods arrived at someone else's bed, they vomited wildly and vomited on a colleague's bed! Then he wiped his mouth with his hand and said: This is not my bed, I don't sleep! He went back to his bed...