When I was a child, I went to my uncle's house and slept with my uncle at night. My aunt was afraid that I was freezing, and as soon as I showed my head, my aunt would stuff me into the quilt. Finally, the aunt was furious: "Little bunny cub! You don't

When I was a child, I went to my uncle's house and slept with my uncle at night. My aunt was afraid that I was freezing, and as soon as I showed my head, my aunt would stuff me into the quilt. Finally, the aunt was furious: "Little bunny cub! Why are you constantly drilling out? Why did you get a cold? I cried and said, "The sweet potatoes I ate in the afternoon stinked to death in the nest!" "My aunt also put her head in the quilt to try it, and when she came out, she vomited...

2. When I was in high school, the same table was a school flower, and her hands were frostbitten in the winter, and her hands were like carrots.

At that time, we all brought our own dishes and chopsticks to eat, and we had to wash ourselves after eating.

I saw her hands frozen like this, it was so pitiful, I helped her wash the dishes for a winter.

One day during self-study, she whispered in my ear, "Would you like to wash the dishes for me for the rest of my life?" ”

As soon as I heard it, I was angry: "Look at your poor help, you still kick your nose in the face, and you still want to trick me into washing my life and making your spring and autumn dreams!" ”

3. Yesterday my wife suddenly asked me if her girlfriend was pretty? I said "pretty." When I came home from work, I saw my wife and girlfriend lying on my bed and shyly asked me to come over! I heard the buddy interrupt here and asked him in surprise how he felt? The buddy smiled bitterly and said: I didn't do anything to her. Because the reflection of the knife under the bed was seen by me...

Downstairs, I saw a neighbor smoking a cigarette with a panda eye, so I went forward and said: Half a year ago, I warned you boy, don't beat your wife again, now it's good, women start to be uncomfortable!

He said: Cut! It's not because of you that you got a wife who can sanda and taught me a wife!

Me: Don't say it! Kneading for me, I just flashed slowly, and I was kicked in the back.

4 Boyfriend bought 5.4 million tickets, and we immediately entered the upper class, and the friends we knew were rich people. Me: "Sister, I introduced you to a boyfriend, just a little fat. Would you like to? Girlfriend: "I don't like fat at all, but how fat is the other party?" Me: "Well, he used to drive a Cayenne, he was too crowded, and now he's replaced by a Hummer." Girlfriend: "Tell me my boyfriend's mobile phone number!" Also, you are not allowed to call him fat in the future! "Me:"

5 My boyfriend paid me 5,000 yuan, and I asked him to buy me a 3,000 yuan bag, but he refused. Later, when he saw a café, he proposed to go in and rest his feet, and the boyfriend asked the waiter to serve two glasses of water. I was furious: slamming the door, not allowing me to buy bags, not even allowing me to drink coffee. Boyfriend: I'm not stingy, I'm afraid you'll beg me to buy a bag later, I don't agree, you'll take the coffee and splash me, the water splash is just a pool of water stains, there is no destructive result.

6 Mom and Dad quarreled, Dad smashed the TV in anger, and Mom smashed the microwave! A few days later, I asked my dad, "Why did you smash the TV?" Dad said: "I wanted to replace the 38-inch TV with a 60-inch TV, but your mother just won't." I later asked my mother, "Why did you smash the microwave oven at that time?" Mom said, "I've long wanted to change to a new one, but your dad is too expensive." "I think the next time you two quarrel, I'll smash something and try...

7 The smoking addiction of the old man is particularly large, and he smokes at least five packs of cigarettes a day. The mother-in-law was worried about his body and asked him to quit smoking.

In order to convince the mother-in-law, the old man specially wrote a letter of guarantee, the content is probably never smoking, if you dare to commit, smoke one to give the mother-in-law 3,000 yuan.

After the fine of 30,000 yuan, the old man couldn't help but smoke another cigarette. Looking at the mother-in-law holding the guarantee, the old man could not bear it any longer.

He was born of evil in his heart, snatched it up, took a closer look, it was actually a blank piece of paper, it turned out that the guarantee letter had long been lost...

8 Wife: "I like feminism, I think a modern woman should defend her legal rights, have the right to know the whereabouts of men; have the right to supervise men's property; and keep pet dogs when bored..." Husband: "What about men's rights?" Wife: "Men, you must have the right to work." Husband: "Men have too few rights." Wife: "Men still have the right to silence." ”

9 My sister-in-law died of depression for many years, and it was always a young female secretary taking care of her brother! My brother had been chasing the female secretary, and the female secretary did not agree! On this day, while the female secretary was cleaning up the table, she saw a letter with several words on it: "I am going to die!" So the female secretary promised her brother that after his death, the property would also belong to her. But 10 years later, my brother is still alive and well, and the female secretary can't sit still. Female Secretary: "Didn't you start writing your will and saying you were going to die?" I just considered marrying you! Brother: "Hey, it was so hot that summer, I sweated on my hands, but I wrote 'I'm going to die of heat'!" ”

10 Today Qianqian drove her girlfriend to Qingqing. Qianqian parked the car by the river, her girlfriend and Qianqian got out of the car, Qianqian's golden hair whizzed out, and a puff of smoke disappeared. Her girlfriend and Qianqian were worried about the Golden Retriever, and ran after her, only to see the Golden Retriever sniffing in a circle around an off-road vehicle, and her girlfriend asked Qianqian: Is there a bad person in the car? Qianqian: My ex-boyfriend's car! Her girlfriend: ... 

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