An American and a Chinese went to visit the grave. Americans bring flowers, Chinese bring food. The American asked Chinese, "When did your ancestors come out to eat?" Chinese replied

An American and a Chinese went to visit the grave. Americans bring flowers, Chinese bring food. The American asked Chinese, "When did your ancestors come out to eat?" Chinese replied, "When your ancestors came out to admire the flowers." ”

Do not disturb, the male guest came out and began to introduce himself: "I deal with the land all day!" In an instant the lights went out six. Male guest: "I don't have a stable high salary!" Then the lights went out eight more. Male guest: "I'm not going to buy a house yet!" Finally, the lights were all out. The host hurried to round the field: "I think many people look down on our peasant brothers, thinking that they have no money and no house, which is an extremely wrong idea!" Male guest: "Interrupt, I'm not a farmer, I'm a real estate developer." ”

I went to a few etiquette training classes with my female classmates today, and I feel that I have learned a lot of things, such as when interacting with women, the mouth must be very sweet. After work, I was hanging out with my female classmates, and I happened to meet the mother of the female classmates, and I shouted at her according to the requirements of the etiquette class: Hello sister! The mother of the female classmate smiled and said: My daughters are so old, what should you call me? I had a stroke of genius and shouted: Mom! The mother of the female classmate was stunned for a moment, and hurriedly called the female classmate over and asked: Daughter? What do you mean, you're planning to break up?

The sister-in-law was admitted to the University of Finance and Economics, and her popularity was particularly good. A few days ago, it was the 19th birthday of her sister-in-law, and she took a few well-connected classmates to the KTV to sing. As a result, the elevator had an accident, and everyone was trapped in the elevator, and the alarm bell was ringed and there was no response. Several classmates had a signal on their mobile phones and made calls, but the maintenance personnel did not come for a long time. Several people were getting stuffier in the elevator and less oxygen! At the moment of the first attack, the sister-in-law broke the elevator door with her bare hands and successfully escaped. Sure enough, human potential is infinite!

I fell in love with a weak girl in the company, watching her walk lightly and fluttering, feeling that one finger could push her down. After talking for half a year, we got married. Everything changed, she rode a motorcycle to a hundred miles, and from time to time she played a small drift, and I sat behind, and my snot was thrown out. Today I was asked to turn over her taekwondo black belt certificate under the bed, pretending, all pretending, big cheat paper!

My husband is on a business trip and will not be able to come back until half a month. I added him with a trumpet, deliberately tempted him, and by eleven o'clock in the evening, he was talking hotly, and I was getting angrier and angrier, and men really couldn't stand the temptation! He suddenly sent a message saying: Daughter-in-law, you want to test me, can you not have the expression of picking your nose all the time????

Today my girlfriend called me and asked: Are you free at night? Go on a blind date with me! This is the first time I have accompanied someone on a blind date, and all of a sudden I have come to my senses: Good! Available and available! The girlfriend said: Well, then you wear a flower cotton jacket, big leather boots, and cropped pants at night, and you can do it! I was stunned: Then I don't look like a strange person? Girlfriend Yu Yu said: Not like a strange thing, what did I tell you to do?

My boyfriend called me on a business trip and asked, "Where are you?" I replied, "At home." He said, "Really? So you tell me how many potatoes are in the kitchen? Luckily I was really at home, replied, "Two." "Then how many eggplants are there?" "One!" "What about green peppers?" "I count, one two three four five, five." "That line, you fry a three fresh!" I'm on my doorstep.

The local tycoon met a beautiful stewardess on a business trip, chased for more than a year, finally together, it didn't take long for the flight attendant to get pregnant, the two people were married, when they were born, the flight attendant was tall, the child grew up to be relatively large, and it took a long time to go down, and finally chose caesarean section, the flight attendant almost lost half a life, and the child weighed nine pounds and one or two. After the birth of the child, the mother-in-law praised the child as beautiful, like a flight attendant, and had long legs, saying that the daughter-in-law would give birth. The flight attendant did not say a word, and said to the local tycoon at night: "Your mother said in front of me every day that I would give birth, useless, Hugh wants to deceive me into having a second child."

One soldier was so good at gambling that he was transferred to another army, and the letter of introduction read: "The soldier's life is a good bet." The new officer asked: How are you betting? What do you usually bet on? Soldier: For example, if you have a birthmark on your right arm, bet $200. The new officer took off his shirt: no birthmark. The new officer took the money and called the former officer: he wouldn't gamble, he just lost me 200. Former Officer: Really? He bet me $5,000 and said he could get you undressed.

#Funny paragraph # #搞笑 #