1. When I was in college, I had a goddess-level roommate in my dormitory, she was super beautiful, she was in good shape, and she was convex and upturned! There were many people chasing her in school, texting and calling her every day

1. When I was in college, I had a goddess-level roommate in my dormitory, she was super beautiful, she was in good shape, and she was convex and upturned! There were many people chasing her in school, texting her every day, calling her, sending flowers, sending gifts or whatever. She often went back to her dorm room in the middle of the night, and she didn't know what to do. One night I got up to go to the bathroom, and I was confused to hear the sisters touching their stomachs and saying, "Child, what do you want to be surnamed, my mother listens to you!" ”

2. When I was a child, our family had a good relationship with the neighbors, and then the neighbors gave birth to a daughter. At that time, my father drank with each other, and finally privately ordered me a doll kiss, just because of this matter, I was ridiculed by my friends. I also felt very ashamed, so I went on a hunger strike and let the family quit this family affair, and my father reluctantly agreed. Now whenever I mention this matter, I always say with emotion when I am nearly forty years old and still wearing a bare stick: Man, you must have foresight. You see I'm alone now, I don't know how happy I am!

3. When my mother was about to go out, I asked me to kill the chickens in the kitchen and then blanch the hair with boiling water! Looking at the chicken that was still struggling with its feet tied, I couldn't get my hands on it. Thinking about it, he took out an egg and put it behind the chicken's ass, and said to my mother, "Keep it, it can still lay eggs." If it weren't for my mother slapping me and scolding: "You've seen a rooster lay an egg..." I would think I'm really not stupid! "

4. As the brother-in-law of the second generation, he drove 2 million Huiteng today to go on a blind date. After the meeting, the brother-in-law briefed the woman on his situation. He added: "What I have is money and I don't need you women to accompany me to the bride price, but I like frank women." What about you? The woman hurriedly said, "I am willing to marry you ugly bastard!" ”

5. Some time ago, I went on a business trip with my boss, and as a result, my boss had something to do, so I left first, let me handle all the things here, and then I can directly return to the company with the contract! I went to a Western restaurant that day, and a waiter saw me and immediately brought me a glass of water: Sir, what do you want to eat? I drank the water in one gulp and asked her: Come with a beef noodle. She looked surprised, and then said unceremoniously: This is not a noodle restaurant. I said apologetically: I'm sorry, I went into the wrong store. After saying that, I walked out and felt less thirsty than I had just now.?

6. The first time the buddy went to Guangdong, the friends in Guangdong invited guests to the restaurant, the buddy had to order his own food, he said to the waiter: Six of your best dishes. After 20 minutes, on the six pots of stewed soup, Guangdong friends extended their thumbs and said that the buddies really understand the feelings of our Cantonese people. My poor buddy drank for three hours before he drank all six pots of stew. The next day to the Guangdong friend's home to visit, Guangdong friends gave four pots of stewed soup and two bowls of rice, buddy looked at the soup straight dizzy, after returning who dared to invite him to drink soup, he and who is anxious!?

7. Tonight I took a didi home and came to pick me up with a Porsche. On the way back, suddenly a man crossed the road and blocked in front of the car. Then the female driver pulled off the car and shouted: Well, I caught the scene, you really found a small white face! I was immediately angry, got out of the car and shouted: You say who is the little white face, this car is called by my name Didi. The man angrily pulled me aside, and then the tone of his voice changed: Brother, with cooperation, I want to find an excuse for divorce.

8. After graduating from college and looking for a job, a design institute came to our school to recruit, and the first question in the interview was: Have you stayed on the Internet? How many nights can I stay? One of my classmates said that he had two nights in a row, and his spirit was still leveraged, and then he was hired. How much does this design institute need to stay up late! Follow me and see more funny cold jokes!

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