1, one day I asked my girlfriend to send me a photo. She sent it the next day and I replied with a "hmm". She was very upset and asked: Do you know what it means for a girl to send you a picture? I thought about it very much

1, one day I asked my girlfriend to send me a photo. She sent it the next day and I replied with a "hmm". She was very upset and asked: Do you know what it means for a girl to send you a picture? I think a lot of the answers are not right. Then she said: It means that the old woman spent at least 3 hours, changed 10 sets of clothes, posed more than 200 poses, used more than 100 expressions, deleted more than 100 pieces to select this one, you "um" a sentence?

2) The duck said to the old lover, the chicken girl, "Didn't you say you were going to be with me forever?" Why marry a dog again? The chicken girl lowered her head and said, "Originally, I didn't agree to him holding a rose and proposing to me, I don't know who withdrew a handful of rice on the ground!" By the time I finished pecking at the rice, the guy said to me, and I nodded my head so many times that I had agreed to his marriage proposal. I...... I regret it's too late. ”

3, the aunt got on the air-conditioned car and invested a dollar. The driver said: "Two pieces of air-conditioned car!" ”。 Big Mom replied, "It's cool." The driver said, "Throw two pieces!" The big mother laughed and said, "Not only is the bald head cool, the whole body is cool", and after saying it, she walked back. The driver said, "I told you to throw two dollars for money." The aunt said: "I think it is cooler to have fewer people in the back." The driver was speechless, and a car of people laughed down! Communication is not in place, and the efforts are all in vain!

4, when I was a child, once my mother bought me a bag of crisp noodles, a real little raccoon, 1 piece of 2 kind, I quickly took the noodles out to find a small partner to play, as soon as I opened the bag, immediately all the small partners were gathered around, and I wanted, I let them queue, each person gave them a little hand, the result was a turn of a second cargo, he suddenly roared with his hands, scared me directly poured a small half bag to him, this goods directly held on the run, I almost cried, a command, a few of us immediately chased him, chased him to eat ...... (Follow me, have fun every day!) ）

5. When he was a child, he was weak and sick, and was sent to the mountain to learn kung fu, and now he has learned to go down the mountain. Dad helped me get a job as a security guard at the bank. Because we are relatively remote here, there is no queuing machine installed, and it is all maintained by me on site. Today came an uncle, while cutting in line while arguing: hurry up, hurry up, slow down a little longer I will die here! I immediately stepped forward: Uncle, do you want to use a rope, a knife, or an enemy? I'll buy it for you!

6, yesterday I went to the pharmacy to buy medicine, I said: Boss, do you have any medicine to treat hiccups. He said, "Yes." Then got me two boxes. I was putting that pick on it, he snorted, scared me a little scared to sit on the ground! I said: You're sick of you! He said: I'm so scared of you, don't you burp it up~ Nima! It's hiccups!

7, about to move to a new building, according to the wife's meaning of all furniture and appliances are replaced, including TV computer refrigerator washing machine air conditioning. I said: These can still be used, don't waste it, besides, even if it is all new, the wife is still the wife! Now, my wife says to replace me too...

8, a man came to the fried fritters stall and said to the owner: "Oops! You fried fritters, you have to use a lot of oil a day, right? The master said, "Yes, there are fried fritters that don't use oil." "My ancestors have been selling fritters for generations, and they never use oil." Master: "Really, is there any secret?" So I invited him to dinner and entertained him courteously. After drinking and eating, he whispered to the master, "Actually, my family has been sold for generations, and there is no need to fry !!! ”

9, the best, life can be like this: the house does not need to be too big, the balcony has grass and flowers, and the sun sleeps on the deck chair at noon. Occasionally throw a tantrum, I cry, you coax, you get angry, I'm deaf. We all have a poor memory, and when we quarrel and twist our faces, we forget. Stepping on the sunset, chatting along the way, holding back half a watermelon... How nice it would be if that were our lifetime.

10, the last time I bought a quilt on the Internet, the cover is very comfortable, I asked my husband to give praise. As a result, the husband of the second goods wrote an evaluation: in the past year, I slept at home several times, since I bought this quilt, it was uncomfortable not to go home to sleep for a day. The quilt was well chosen and the husband came home early. , good cotton air conditioning quilt four-piece set summer cool quilt children summer quilt single double student spring and autumn quilt winter quilt ¥8800 coupon minus 100 yuan, purchase

11, Xiaoming grabbed his father's arm to death: don't fight with your mother! Dad's heart was warm, Xiaoming continued: Mom is a taekwondo instructor, you can't beat her, every time you lie in bed for three days, no one at home cooks. Xiaoming's father is dead bracing: Good men don't fight with women, I don't care to do anything with her, if she has a kind of play a little difficulty. This was heard by Xiaoming's mother, who asked: What is difficult. Xiaoming's father said with a straight face: Every time you fight, you even scratch and scratch, there is a kind of high whip leg, serial kick? Xiaoming's mother: We martial arts practitioners should talk about martial arts, for you such a weak chicken, I only use the "wife's moves", using big moves is to bully you, I don't even use two skills, only use general attack is enough.

12, when I was a child, I always liked to climb the mountain, and when I got to the top of the mountain, we shouted at the three sides together, waiting for an echo. One or two small partners next to him suddenly shouted: Hey! I'm your dad, dad! These are all these sounds in the mountains. After a while, from the other side of the mountain came: "Oh. Oh, good son"! It really stunned me and my friends.

13. Without a centralized institution to make records, how to ensure the authenticity of a transaction? Virtual currency uses a distributed accounting method, such as Zhang San to Li Si transferred 100 yuan, the nodes of the whole network record a transaction information generated by Zhang San's private key: a certain time and minute and a certain second (timestamp) on a certain day in a certain month of a certain year, Zhang San transferred 100 yuan to Li Si. The balance of the virtual currency account is calculated based on the transaction record, so Li Si will not deny the transaction; and if Zhang San wants to deny it, he needs to tamper with most of the account book records, which is not small.

14. The teacher gives chocolates to the students, and the chocolates are made of boys and girls. The teacher took the chocolate in the form of a girl, and the students did not want it, and the chocolate in the form of a boy wanted it. The teacher asked, "Why do you want boys?" A girl replied, "Boy-like, you can eat a little more." ”