Last night, when I went to bed, my husband suddenly turned over, hugged me tightly and said, "Wife, this life is too short", I heard this sentence, shed tears of emotion, and my husband continued: "Ming."

Last night, when I went to sleep, my husband suddenly turned over, hugged me tightly and said: "Wife, this life is too short", I heard this sentence, shed tears of emotion, my husband continued: "Buy a longer quilt tomorrow, I can't cover my feet, it's so cold!" ”

2 My husband and my girlfriend were broken by my girlfriend's husband at the Super 8 Hotel together, so I divorced decisively, but the years were faltering, and I never remarried. Usually, when things in the house are broken, they let the handsome guy next door come to help. Today the air conditioner broke down, I called him in, I turned on the air conditioner and asked him: Is it cool? The handsome man listened and looked at me calmly, ignoring me with a calm face. After fixing it for a while, I asked again: Do you feel cold? Just after saying that, the handsome man cried and said: Sister, my girlfriend took away my money and eloped with others, and my heart is now cold and cold...

3 When working in a Michelin hotel, he is responsible for purchasing, and he can earn 90,000 per month. Today, when I went to the seafood market to buy goods, I asked the vendor: How do you sell lobsters? Hawker: 288 pounds. I said: Too expensive, don't. The peddler pointed to the side: that lobster just SI, 28.8 yuan a pound. I said: What si? The vendor glanced at me: it was too expensive to buy, and he was angry.

4 Girlfriends usually like to brush small videos, but also pass some of their own works. Today in the community she wants to shoot again, arrange for me to enter the elevator for a while to pretend not to know her, and then see her beautiful to pick her up. I agreed, standing in the middle of the elevator with my phone ready to speak. Just about to speak, I saw a little brother come in, took the initiative to talk to his girlfriend, and added a V letter. I was shooting silently next to me, talking or not talking. Sighing in my heart, why doesn't my wife temporarily add drama and not notify me!

5 While my daughter-in-law was asleep, I used her mobile phone to charge 8,000 yuan to the game. The next morning, after my daughter-in-law saw the deduction text message, she directly threw me out of the house. I was so hungry that I went to a breakfast restaurant to queue up to buy buns. The first one or two goods said to the boss: Bring me five buns! The boss asked him what kind of filling he wanted, and he asked rhetorically: Is there a difference between what kind of filling? Your bun has not yet bitten into the filling, and then the filling is directly bitten to the head. The people who were queuing up to buy breakfast dispersed, and the boss chased him with a kitchen knife, do I want to take a few buns and leave again?

6 Today, the parents of the Little Red Sisters are not at home, so the timid sister and sister sleep in the same bed. Mosquitoes are infested at night. Sister said: Sister, you see, so many mosquitoes. Xiaohong said: Turn off the light, the mosquitoes can't see us, and then the sister really turned off the lights and suddenly a pair of fireflies flew in, the sister was very scared to approach the sister, the sister was very nervous and said: What should the sister do, we are miserable, you see the mosquitoes carrying lanterns to find us

During the Spring Festival 7, female colleagues accompanied the director to drink, and when they woke up the next day, the director said: "Is 200,000 enough?" Female clerk: "200,000 just want to send me away, what a joke." Director: "So what do you say?" Female clerk: "What else can I do?" Marry me, of course. The director fainted in front of his eyes.

8 When I was working, my mother helped me clean my room, after work. Come up to me and ask: Son, do you have a girlfriend? Inexplicably, I ignored her, and she continued: Did you have a girlfriend? Me: Who do you listen to? Where's my girlfriend? Mom gave me a contemptuous look: You still don't admit it, I found lipstick in your room! Me: That's not lipstick, that's lip balm! Mom: How to explain this dress?

9 When the wife gave birth to a child, she was particularly distressed, and complained to her husband: "It is all your trouble, and I am missing half a life." After the husband listened, he moved to the guest room to sleep. A month and a half passed. That night, the husband's door rang and the husband asked, "Who?" The wife said outside the door: "Here comes not to be afraid of death." ”

10 On weekends, it was hard to rest for a day, sitting on the couch and watching TV with melon seeds. Dad came back from outside and saw Mom mopping the floor. Dad hurriedly stepped forward: You are not in good health and rest quickly, how can you do such rough work? After that, you will be in the living room with melon seeds watching TV, and this kind of rough work will be done by others. Then he handed the mop to me, who was watching TV with melon seeds.

11 Lately, there have been a lot less things in the company, and I can go home from work to do beauty maintenance normally. After dinner that night I was resting on the couch with cucumber slices, and my dad was watching TV. Listening to the familiar bright sword January playing on the TV set again, I said: I said Dad, can you not watch this war, we can't watch anything else. Dad looked at me and said: You have cucumber slices on your eyes, can you still see them? I said: I have an eye that is not attached, I can see. Then Dad went to the kitchen and got another cucumber and pasted my other eye on it.

12 When I was in high school, I had a male table named Li Chai, who did well in his studies, especially in English. Once in class, the new English teacher asked him what his name was, and he said: Lee Chai. The English teacher didn't seem to hear clearly, and asked again, and he still answered like this. The English teacher was furious and shouted: I don't guess!

13 The chairman of my company is my husband-in-law, and after I got married, I was promoted to general manager and often traveled with him on business. Arrived in a small town yesterday and there were not enough hotel rooms and we had to sleep in the same place. When I was talking to Bill with my laptop leaning on the head of the bed, the old man said, "The screen of the notebook is too bright for me to sleep, so you better go to the living room and surf the Internet." So I ran to the living room with my notebook. After 5 minutes, I only heard my father-in-law shouting inside: "I can't sleep, you better go to the bedroom and surf the Internet." "I was weird and asked what was going on. The old man sighed and said, "I am very uneasy that you are chatting on the Internet behind my daughter's back!" ” 

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