Language is a tool to prolong a relationship, people can use language as a tool to prolong each other's feelings, and all feelings in the beginning are also through a "hello" began.
However, this tool is also a double-edged sword, and sometimes it will not play a positive role, different times, different occasions, different places, different people will eventually show a good and uneven effect.
Therefore, when using the skill of chatting, it is also necessary to master the measure and method, so that a relationship can not go wrong.
Psychological research has shown that after 10 p.m., don't chat with men, smart women will follow.
Chat at night, the relationship is easy to cross the line
01), during the day, we are busy working, busy dealing with socializing, but also to deal with some deceitful things, so during the day, our sensory organs, audio-visual system will be highly utilized, and we are busy receiving external information, so the sensory system will also be in a relatively tired state.
At night, we don't need to work or deal with the mess, so the environment we're in at this time is quiet, no noise, no one else, just ourselves.
At this time, because the audiovisual stimuli we receive become smaller, the attention will be relatively concentrated, and we will have enough time and energy to consider those problems with personal feelings, and also have time to add more emotional factors to our own thinking.
02) After ten o'clock in the evening, our emotions will be in an open state in such an environment, and we will suddenly relax due to a state of high tension, and it will be easier to receive external information and will be more sentimental.
Coupled with the fact that there is a law of heterosexual attraction between men and women, it is easier to produce emotional connection.
Therefore, at ten o'clock in the evening chat is easy to produce feelings other than friendship, if two people are single and still two love each other, then such an occasion chat is nothing, but if a person has an object, or has no intention of falling in love, then it is not good to talk about feelings.
Ambiguity between men and women is sometimes not love
01), the TV series "Flowing Golden Years" in Jiang Nansun has a boyfriend, and this boyfriend also has a green plum bamboo horse, it is reasonable to say that an adult should know how to deal with friends of the opposite sex, but the boyfriend does not have such an awareness, even if the other party calls him in the middle of the night, he is also happy to go, and in turn blames Jiang Nansun for not understanding things.
People always say that the best emotional state between men and women lies in the ambiguous stage, because the freshness is more inclusive, and they are more willing to spend more time maintaining the feelings of two people, but we need to understand that ambiguity is never love, but it is better than good feelings.
Just like Jiang Nansun, because the boyfriend did not know the measure many times, the two of them quarreled many times, but it was still useless, just imagine, when we deal with feelings, we are also facing such a tricky problem, and the heart is naturally not a taste.
02), do not do to others what you do not want, do not want what happens to yourself, how to let it happen to others?
Daniel Goleman, author of Emotional Intelligence, said: "The degree of comfort you make people determines the height you can reach." Sometimes we can't tell whether we are close or far, which makes both sides very stiff, and this situation shows that our psychological boundaries are not clear enough. ”
If you think that ambiguity is love, then it is easy to produce some unnecessary misunderstandings, and even hurt other innocent people.
Friends of the opposite sex need to be on the most important measure
I remember when I was in high school, there was a girl in the class and a boy playing very well, at that time I didn't know too much, I only felt that the closer between men and women was love, so I was blind, and finally the girl felt embarrassed, so she deliberately pulled away from each other, and the two people couldn't even be friends.
The heart of gossip cannot be changed even in the adult world, when we are close to the opposite sex, some idle people will use it to make a fuss, will think that we are in love, otherwise how can we chat with each other night and night.
However, the real situation is only known to us, so in this case there will be unnecessary misunderstandings and gossip.
There is a passage in "Siege of the City": "Rumors are faster than the flu, greater than the energy contained in meteors, more malicious than hooligans, and more exhausting than abortion." ”
If you feel that the other party is your favorite type, then, after ten o'clock, you can open up the relationship well by means of emotions, and if you don't have any thoughts about the other party, then don't know that you will be ambiguous and intentional.
Life is like a ruler, the emphasis is on the sense of boundaries, only by paying attention to proportions can a relationship be truly long-lasting.