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There is no blood relationship between relatives, and the reason why two families can become relatives is because a marriage contract binds two young people who love each other together.
In a way, it is impossible for us to choose who we are related to, and the key is who the son or daughter marries.
Then as a passive choice party, we must put ourselves in the right position, adjust our mentality, do not care about certain things, and do not say certain things that should not be said. Once the line is crossed, the relationship between each other will sooner or later have problems.
After all, in any relationship, people getting too close to each other is a disaster.
Literally, the two words are very warm, and the combination of two unrelated families to become an inseparable family can be described as a blessing.
But in fact, if there is no union of two children, strangers who have nothing to do with each other are just strangers. So the relationship between them is not as strong as you think.
In the TV series "Great Rivers and Great Rivers", after the death of Song Yunping, her husband Lei Dongbao, at first treated his in-laws as his own parents, and would take the ceremony to visit every New Year's Festival.
But then Lei Dongbao remarried, and Song Yunping's parents said:
"Forget it, since Pingping's death, we expected that sooner or later there would be such a day, and we don't want this relative."
It can be seen from this that if both husband and wife divorce, or if one of them dies, then the relationship between the parents and the family is automatically dissolved, so we can't value the relationship too much, nor can we take it too lightly.
Emphasis will lead to a blurred sense of boundaries, and looking down will affect the relationship between the two small mouths. The best way is to maintain a relatively safe distance, not to get too close, but to help each other and compare hearts and minds.
If you don't want to have a vendetta, the following three things don't do, this is the most basic emotional intelligence.
One: Whether it is well-intentioned or not, do not interfere in the other party's family affairs
Basically, every couple will say a polite sentence when their children get married: "We will be a family from now on." ”
But polite words are really just polite words, and after all, they still have to go their separate ways. If you really think of yourself as the other person's family and forcibly interfere in the other party's family affairs, it can only mean that you are immature in your thinking and have low emotional intelligence.
Taking ten thousand steps back, even if your relationship is very good, can you really sort out each other's family affairs?
As the saying goes, it is difficult for a clean official to break the housework.
You are not a party, how can you appreciate the difficulty and difficulty, and as an outsider, no matter who you are towards, you will not end up in the end, and even affect the marriage of your son or daughter, why bother with it.
To take a common example in life, the daughter of a certain family is over thirty years old and still not married, her parents have not said anything, and the father-in-law or the mother-in-law always talks about this matter every three or five minutes, and also helps Zhang Luo to go on a blind date.
People who know you as a person know that you are well-intentioned; those who do not understand you think that you have eaten enough to support and have nothing to do.
Whether you are well-intentioned or not, you should not mix up the family affairs of your family, otherwise you will only contribute to the unpopularity, and end up not being a person inside and out.
Second: Do not have any financial transactions until you are forced to do so
In any relationship, as long as money is involved, it is not a small test. Especially between relatives, they will be more sensitive when it comes to money.
For example, in Yi Shu's classic novel "The Golden Years", Jiang Nansun's family is bankrupt and in debt, and the desperate father thinks of his daughter's boyfriend, that is, his future relatives, so he opens his mouth to borrow money from him.
Unexpectedly, the family, who had originally begged them to get married as soon as possible, immediately turned their faces.
It is precisely because of this incident that Jiang Nansun saw the true face of her boyfriend's family. She believes that her boyfriend looks up to herself, not because of love, but because she has money at home, so she will draw a line in time after she has no money.
Putting this aside, is it really appropriate to borrow money from future relatives? He has to have the heart to help you, without you having to open your mouth. If you open your mouth, the sense of boundaries between you will be transgressed.
His rejection of you is also a kind of self-preservation and sobriety.
Three: Maintain a safe distance and don't get too close to everything
If people get too close to each other, many things will gradually become blurred, and the same is true between relatives. The best state is always to contact when there is something to do, and nothing to move around.
If you get too close, you will only do a lot of harm and no benefit.
People are realistic, when you mix well, when you are valuable, there will always be people who want to take advantage of you, or have something that needs your help and opens their mouths to you many times.
At this time, do you help or not? If you don't help, it will affect the relationship between each other; if you help, you will feel aggrieved in your heart, and even affect your work and interests.
Moreover, even if you help, you may not be able to exchange the gratitude of the other party, after all, there are not a few people who do not know how to compare hearts to hearts. If one day you fall into disgrace, who may see you laughing?
If you want to go long and have a harmonious relationship between relatives and families, you must know the inches and boundaries when you get along. Don't care about what you shouldn't do, don't do what you shouldn't do, so that you can get along better.
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