Text/Su Xin
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There is a phenomenon in life that we will always give the best side to outsiders and leave the worst side to our families. Obviously, he loves each other deeply, but he is doing things that make the other party very painful.
Someone once said that people are actually like hedgehogs, and our own personality is like the thorns on the hedgehogs, so people who love each other can't get too close, otherwise they will stab each other.
In the relationship between husband and wife, in fact, we should also maintain an appropriate distance, as a sentence in the sketch: "Distance produces beauty." Because, in the relationship, it is difficult for people to control their emotions, just like the ancients once said, "Near is not inferior to far away." ”
"The way to get along is about size", which is especially important when couples get along.
For women, even if a man loves you again, and can tolerate and tolerate you, you must not easily touch his bottom line, otherwise the person who loves you will leave you.
01 Don't complain about each other
One of the most frustrating things in getting along is complaining.
In fact, complaining is not only a bad emotion vent, it also reflects a person's incompetence for a dilemma, and a person who has the ability to solve problems has no time to vent his complaints, and more of his energy is spent on solving problems.
A netizen said: "Middle-aged men don't want to go home, it's all bits and pieces, and they are more afraid of complaining." ”
Remembering a scene in the TV series "The First Half of My Life", Chen Junsheng and Luo Zijun divorced and married Ling Ling as desired. However, after remarrying, he was not as happy as he expected, before Ling Ling was a gentle and considerate, very independent working woman, but after living with him, she also became endless chatter.
So Chen Junsheng is still like in the first marriage, after work there is a home do not want to go back, he went to the bar to buy drunk until late at night, because Ling Ling is no longer the confidant, but has become a taste with other housewives.
Endless complaints are like a poison in marriage, although the toxicity is not great, but it cannot withstand the corrosion accumulated over time.
If a woman does not want to be bored and disliked by her lover, she must first learn to shut up, endless nagging and complaining, and it is really possible to break your marriage.
02 Don't change each other
There is a saying that goes well "smart people change themselves and stupidly transform others." ”
The stupidest thing in a marriage is to find ways to change each other.
A common mistake of people is to always think that they are right, as long as they are different from themselves, they are all wrong, and this stubbornness and prejudice have also led to many unhappy marriages.
Knowing a couple, women always think that men eat bar mouth, every time she sees his indecent habits, she has to put down the dishes and chopsticks in her hands to correct each other, over time, men are more and more annoyed, so he simply does not eat at home, slowly, the feelings of husband and wife are more and more cold.
People's living habits, temperament and even three views, are formed for a long time, as the saying goes, "freezing three feet is not a day's cold", these long-term formed behaviors and habits are difficult to change, especially a person's thinking and concepts.
So, don't try to change a person, because that will make other people miserable and you will feel very tired.
Smart women will change themselves first, take the matter of eating and spitting, since the other party will not be able to change this problem for a while and a half, then we must let ourselves learn to adapt.
Some people say, "Choose what you love before marriage, and love your choice after marriage." ”
Since you have chosen, you must accept it, and if you cannot accept it, then you can choose to separate, that is, do not self-righteously force the other party to make changes.
03 Don't deny the other person
There is a saying in the movie "The Greatest Father in the World": "I thought that the worst thing in the world was to die alone." Not really, the worst part is to end up with people who make you feel lonely. ”
What makes a person feel lonely? It is nothing more than that you say something you don't approve of him and don't accept it, make him feel inferior, make him feel very defeated, and naturally he doesn't want to have any contact with anyone anymore.
Because your denial will make him constantly compare with others, and often the more he compares, the more humble his heart will be.
One of the things that women often hang on their lips is, you see how other people's husbands are doing. Women say it unintentionally, but it is really difficult to listen to it unintentionally.
Men are most eager to be recognized and respected by their partners in marriage, so women should give each other more affirmation and encouragement.
Constantly denying each other brings a blow to the man, and what it brings to the marriage is destruction.
04 Don't doubt each other
No matter how good a woman is, once she will become jealous of her lover and doubt marriage, then she will no longer be cute in the eyes of men.
Sensitivity and suspiciousness are the main culprits that lead to the breakdown of marriages.
The TV series "In Chinese Marriage" tells the story of several middle-aged couples in marriage, when the image of the vicious and incomprehensible woman appears in front of the camera and insults the man's various unbearable circumstances, I believe that no one can bear it anymore.
Why women are so mad is not because they have become jealous of their husbands, and then catch the wind and shadows. In the end, even the most beautiful marriage will eventually become inseparable because of endless suspicion, and can only end in separation.
There is also such a description in "Sex and the City". Samantha is an independent and beautiful woman, she likes to live an unrestrained life, pursue self-independence, and never thought of going into marriage and becoming a person bound by family and men.
There were some good men around her, but she never cared until she met the man she liked, Charlie.
Perhaps when she met her beloved, the woman instinctively changed, and Samantha began to pay attention to her words and deeds, no longer as unrestrained as before, and she was the only one in her eyes and heart.
But samantha also found herself suspicious, and she began to worry that Charlie was not paying attention to her. Suspicion and jealousy sensitize the once-confident Samantha, and even she secretly stalks Charlie. Later, she herself could not accept this stupid behavior, and finally decided to break up with Charlie.
Some people say that doubt and jealousy are the time bombs in the relationship, and you don't know at what moment it will blow you and the other person to death.
Some women are easy to get lost in love and lose their minds, and some women will even do some strange things for love, it seems that love can really make people crazy. But this is really not smart enough, because when women are mad for love, men are suffering.
If your marriage is still very happy, and you are still happy to be deeply loved, then you must not do harm to each other and the marriage, and do not turn the marriage into a cage and shackles. In a truly beautiful marriage, both people should be confident and free.
END.