Click on the small card below to keep an eye on the snow without dust
Reduce your expectations of men and allow yourself to live sunny, happy, and be treated tenderly by the years.
--Mizuki Nianhua
Text | Mizuki Nianhua Picture | Source network
Joy or sorrow - there I have always been with you
◆ ◆ ◆
There is a saying in "Flowers and Bones": "For the fish and geese in this world, you should still laugh less." ”
As a woman, in the world of feelings, in order to be able to keep love fresh, it is better to expect less men.
Feelings are not the way you want them to be as long as you expect them. If you don't respond to his expectations, it will also affect each other's feelings.
Things can be less and less, more will become cumbersome; words can be said less, more will cause trouble; expect a little less, love will become meaningful.
If you want to have a smooth relationship and get more love from men, women should start from themselves.
Women, quit the expectation of men, love is sweeter.
01
Don't expect men to make changes for themselves
There's a line in Edward Scissorhands: "I love you not because of who you are, but because I can be who I am in front of you." ”
Truly love a man and don't expect him to make a change for himself. Because changing others is a very painful thing, and changing yourself for love, pandering to the other party is the common sense of people.
Loving someone requires tolerance, understanding and love, to let the other person live unscrupulously in front of themselves, without pressure, and to live more like you.
Lin Chiling married Kurosawa Langping, many netizens do not recognize, think that Lin Chiling's good genes should be married and have children in China, but the fate is incredible.
Although she and Kurosawa Langping are sisters and brothers in love, in the words of netizens, after marriage, Lin Chiling has changed her appearance, and Kurosawa Langping is still Kurosawa Langping, and the relationship between the two people is still good.
Because of love, Lin Chiling has changed a lot, more and more feminine, including her own habits, dress, and voice are more and more Japanese women's taste, and the name has also changed to "Kurosawa Zhiling".
True love is like this, one is willing to make changes for the other party, one is willing to be yourself in front of you, because of your tolerance and love.
Today, the two have a baby son, and the family of three lives happily.
In fact, it's hard to change, often what you look like when you meet him, and basically in the end he's still like this.
Hegel said: "The secret to long-term relationships with loved ones is to give up the idea of changing each other. ”
Smart women, do not change each other bluntly, but go with the flow. Because she knows that if it doesn't change, your expectations may turn into your disappointments.
Therefore, even though he has many problems, since he has chosen, he will take it seriously and tolerate each other.
After all, love is not a child's play, what is needed is to pay and compromise, it is the accumulation of feelings that you love and I wish, and only then will the flower of love bloom undefeated for a long time.
02
Don't expect men to give themselves happiness for a lifetime
When a woman is happiest, she wears a white wedding dress and walks across the red carpet. Because that time is the beginning of each other's commitment to each other and keeping each other's lives. However, falling in love is easier said than done.
Many people start with romance, survive the ups and downs, but fail in the ordinary and trivial days. In the face of chai rice oil and salt, trivial matters, gradually lost patience and became abominable.
As it is said in the "Biography of Zhen Huan": "The road is chosen by yourself, and there is no room for maneuver." ”
Since you love deeply, you must strive for and pay hard, rather than giving the right to happiness to others and expecting others to bring you happiness.
In the TV series "The First Half of My Life", Luo Zijun is beautiful, his son is obedient and sensible, and her husband Chen Junsheng makes more money. Therefore, she has been immersed in the nourishment of happiness and is accustomed to a life of pampering.
However, she never expected that all of it would be worth Ling Ling's calculating clever heart.
Chen Junsheng finally abandoned his wife and son, and came together with Ling Ling to support lingling's parents and take care of his son. Others looked at the impossible, and it became a fact in front of Luo Zijun, who had no self-reliance.
In the end, Luo Zijun's expectations on her husband turned into soap bubbles. After the sadness, she could only regroup and start to fight for her career and independence.
"Kra Lover" said: "There is no turning back when you choose this industry, and your every choice, every achievement, is directly proportional to your efforts." ”
Career is like this, feelings are the same, through their own hard work to get happiness, and others always give with an uneasy factor, and will make you involuntarily.
Smart women know that happiness is not given by others, but by their own efforts. Instead of giving the chips of happiness to others, it is better to work hard to enrich yourself and make yourself strong.
03
Don't expect men to love themselves forever
There is a saying in "Fragments of stars": "No matter what, a person who falls for an excuse is always not worthy of forgiveness." The more no one loves, the more you have to love yourself. ”
When a person is alive, you can find someone to talk to when you are lonely, and you can find someone to comfort when you are sad, but if you have no one to love, you must love yourself.
It is irresponsible to yourself, and it is you who hurt yourself in the end. And no one will pity you, sympathize with you, they will think that everything is your fault.
Friend Meng Meng talked about a boyfriend, at first, the boyfriend followed her everything, and all choices were listened to Meng Meng. This made Meng Meng very moved, and she began to expect that her boyfriend would be good to her for a lifetime.
Later, the boyfriend's job was transferred to the South. Since then, the number of phone calls between the two people has gradually decreased, and they have almost never seen each other. In the end, the two people still broke up, and the deep feelings were lost to long-distance relationships.
No matter how many people can love and care for you all their lives, even the most beautiful love will change its taste due to the constraints of conditions. People should love themselves, which is the best policy in life.
A wise woman, in love, will not expect a man to love you for the rest of her life, because she knows that instead of living in a full-fledged way, it is better to love herself and let the flower of her life bloom beautifully.
Love is a matter of two people, but who is good to whom, not to expect, but after the relationship between two people is good, it will naturally be good to you.
What is forced will not be comfortable, and what others take the initiative to give you is the most satisfactory.
04
In fact, if you want to maintain a good relationship, you must lose your "expectations". Expecting intimate people is a common sentiment of people, but unrealistic expectations will only hurt others and hurt themselves, and the gains will not be worth the losses.
The more the two sexes get along, the more they expect, the more reverie they will have. But in love, blandness and truthfulness are the only conditions for long-term feelings.
May you be able to like yourself more than others, reduce your expectations of men, and let yourself live a sunny, happy, and gentle life by the years.
As Chernyshevsky said, "The meaning of love is to help each other improve, but also to improve themselves." ”
◆ ◆ ◆
If you're having emotional distress
Asked questions
Warm heart| warm companionship
Pay attention to the snow falling without dust
I am willing to listen to your heart
Light up [Like] + [Watching] "May we all have happy love and marriage"