1. Take a bath with your wife at night and get ready to go to bed together, this time it is already more than 10 o'clock in the middle of the night, my wife quietly said to me. Husband, such a wonderful night, we should do it

1. Take a bath with my wife at night and get ready to go to bed together, this time it is more than 10 o'clock in the middle of the night, my wife said to me quietly. Husband, such a beautiful night, we should do something! So I asked her, what should we do? The wife touched her stomach, smiled and said, I think we should go to a barbecue. My eyes lit up and I said in approval, OK, I want to eat a roast pig intestine, my wife angrily patted my head and said, the pig intestine stinks to death, it is not delicious at all, I want to eat pig brain.

2. This day was supposed to be a holiday, but a few of my men did not complete the task and were asked to work overtime during the holiday. As their leader, I was also called by the boss to accompany overtime. After arriving at the company, I had nothing to do, I couldn't leave, and I held my stomach to watch TV dramas. The boss inspected, and when he saw me watching TV, he said: Do you know how much to deduct by using the company computer to watch TV dramas? How can I say that I have won the performance championship for several months, naturally there is a temper, and he is intimidated: Do you let me work overtime and give overtime pay? The boss was very angry and gave me all the spoilers of the whole TV series in one breath...

3. Thirty sisters-in-law have not been cared for until now, and today Aunt Li downstairs suddenly wants to introduce the object. After talking for half a day, the father-in-law was calm and reluctant, and asked Aunt Li to go back first, saying that we should consider considering giving her a reply. After Aunt Li left, the mother-in-law was about to get mad, only to see the father-in-law lean over to her husband and say: Quick, son, go buy two pillars of incense and buy two more whips, give your grandfather a grave, the ancestor opened his eyes, your sister finally has someone to want!?

4. The weather is relatively cold, and the heating is turned on at home. But since the heating was turned on, there have been flies in the house, and at night my wife has photographed a lot of flies. But the strange thing is that my wife kept one, and when I saw it, I was very curious and asked why. The wife said: "I just want it to know that the little friends who have been playing with it for the past few days have hung up, and I want to make it feel lonely, lonely, and let it die in fear in loneliness..."

5. The mother-in-law just opened Alipay with her smartphone and received a transfer of 50,000 yuan from a stranger. The mother-in-law was wondering about it, and received a message from the man who transferred the money: "Big brother, I transferred the transfer to the wrong person, please return the money to me!" The mother-in-law thought that she must teach him a lesson and dry him first. Three hours passed, and the mother-in-law estimated that the guy might be desperate, so she replied to him: "You don't want to take back a penny!" Then, Alipay transferred 4999 to the other party

6. Went shopping with my girlfriend today, and I finally learned what a hypocritical woman is. She went to a skin care store, and the salesperson said to her, "Little sister, your skin is so Q-bomby, this is very suitable for you." Looking at the girlfriend with a face full of acne marks, who knew that she came to say: "You can still talk, and I bought it with you for the sake of what you will do!" I looked stunned and said, "Sure enough, women basically don't want to have faces!" ”

7. The old man is an associate professor at 985 University and has a pension of 3,000 yuan per month after retirement. Bored at home, he fell in love with fishing and spent thousands online to buy a new fishing rod. After using it once, the old man resolutely gave a bad review, on the grounds that the fishing rod was too strong! Customer service called and asked him why he gave a bad review. The old man had to tell the truth: this is my daughter-in-law's back, secretly using my own private money to place an order, when the courier arrived, just when the daughter-in-law was at home... She used her fishing rod to pump me dozens of times without breaking!

8. After work late at night, I came home to see my wife sitting on the stairs in the doorway. My heart warmed, and I went forward to hug her and said painfully: Baby, I am still waiting for me so late, don't do this in the future. The wife snorted and said: No, the old woman came out to take out the garbage, and accidentally locked herself outside. I jokingly thought to myself: I knew I would let you cool down a little longer...

10. I was just about to leave work for dinner at noon when I suddenly received a call from my mother-in-law. My mother-in-law said that she had cooked me a meal, took a taxi to bring me over, and waited for me downstairs. I was greatly moved: Mom, big and far away, the taxi fare is enough for me to eat two meals outside. Did you think of me and brought me food? The mother-in-law groaned for a while: Well, I was originally going to make it for your father, but then I found that the rice was cooked a little hard, and then I answered a phone call, and the dish was fried again, and it was a pity to pour it out.

11. The sister-in-law is beautiful and hot, working as a secretary to the big boss in a listed company, earning 100,000 yuan a month, but she is an unmarried person, who has been borrowing my family to avoid forced marriage. I am not a righteous gentleman, if it were not for my wife's close attention, I would have blown her away earlier, after all, there are many women in the family, water and electricity, not to mention, mainly inconvenient, the sister-in-law lives with my brother-in-law, which is not good for my reputation. My father-in-law and mother-in-law are even more unreliable, and they even live in my house in order to urge marriage! The sister-in-law couldn't do anything, so she hired a bartender at the bar to pretend to be a boyfriend and bring it back to see her parents at night. The young man is not only handsome, but also has sweet hands and feet, and coaxes the old two to obey and be happy. After dinner, my father-in-law and mother-in-law went back to the bedroom to exchange opinions, and after a while, they quarreled! The mother-in-law's voice was high and sharp: "You are too much, you know that today you will see the future son-in-law, rather than lending our family's Bugatti to someone else as a wedding car!" This is a plus for girls! The old man was not willing to show weakness and scolded loudly: "You don't want to land, a good villa does not live, you have to rent it out, squeeze in the son-in-law's broken home to cheat on food and drink, do you really lack the 100,000 rent?" The bartender turned to his sister-in-law and said, "I didn't expect it!" I thought you were a high-paid white-collar beauty, but I didn't expect you to be a rich second generation! The sister-in-law took a sip of coffee and said quietly: "Life is like a drama, it all depends on acting skills, it seems that they really treat you as my boyfriend!" My wife and I exchanged glances and said, "What's the matter?" This family is in my house, showing off the rich, acting, we are out of the water and electricity out of the venue, but also abandoned! What the hell is broken in my house..."

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