This article is originally produced by ilove-style in Guangdong
Author: Hirozai, a businessman and amateur writer
01
Feng Ge complained: "Now the epidemic situation is unstable, every day to report the itinerary to the teacher, it is not convenient to go anywhere!" ”
I said, isn't it already winter break? Does the school still manage this?
"I signed up for winter camp for my child and I'm leaving in a few days."
I see!
Actually, I wasn't surprised at all.
Because, as far as I know, Brother Feng and Sister-in-law Feng have always enrolled their children in various interest classes and cram classes, and signed up for various extracurricular activities.
The couple are typical chicken parents, trying their best to keep their children from losing at the starting line.
Chicken baby, is a popular word on the Internet, refers to the parents to their children to "play chicken blood", in order for the children to read good books, good grades, constantly arrange learning and activities for children, and constantly let children fight for the behavior.
02
We like to write articles, usually collect various materials, so I have also interviewed Feng GeFeng's sister-in-law, you give your children so many interest classes, which direction do you plan to train your children? Or what kind of talent do you want your child to become in the future?
Sister-in-law Feng said that seeing that other students in the class had signed up, we also followed a few. Otherwise, other students will do anything, and we will not do anything, it is easy to be inferior, and it is always good to learn more. As for what kind of person we will be when we grow up, we can't plan for that long, and it is good to be able to support ourselves.
Feng Ge said that the teachers suggested that they should apply for some art and puzzle classes, so as to develop the brain and improve intelligence. Anyway, the house and the car are ready for him, don't worry about him, what kind of person he wants to become in the future, see his own interests and hobbies.
I've interviewed other friends around me and got the same answer.
I have found that very few parents have a clear, long-term training plan for their children, most of them are following the trend, afraid of falling behind others, so what others learn, let their babies follow what they learn.
Interestingly, none of the dozen or so friends I interviewed thought they were chicken babies. At the same time, they all oppose the behavior of chicken babies, feeling that this is not conducive to the physical and mental health of children.
It seems that what is a chicken baby, we have to wait for the official to formulate a standard.
Just like greed for money and lust, many people oppose greed for money and lust, but they have always been greedy for money and lust, but they do not admit that they are greedy for money and lust.
Chicken babies, too, are a very common phenomenon, but most people don't think that their behavior has reached the level of chicken babies.
03
Judging from the actual situation, the chicken baby is not a clear education and training plan, but a herd mentality.
This brings me to a phrase – the collective unconscious.
The collective unconscious is a term for analytical psychology proposed by the Swiss psychologist and founder of analytical psychology, Jung (1875-1961), in 1922. Refers to the universal human spirit accumulated at the deepest level of psychology by countless experiences of the same type preserved by genetics.
To put it simply, it is a kind of group hypnosis, a kind of herd psychology of seeking benefits and avoiding harm, and a kind of self-preservation instinct.
To quote an example given by the Zhihu Respondent", Kong Rong let the pear have long been preached with the virtue of humility, but we really don't know why Kong Rong let the pear. A more real and reasonable explanation should be that Kong Rong also wants big pears, but knows that doing so will not be appreciated by his parents, on the contrary, he knows that only taking the initiative to ask for small pears will get the appreciation of his parents, so the real reason behind Kong Rong's pears is probably to sell fame and reputation.
To this day, we are still influenced by Kong Rong's pear, and it should be said that we are bound by his story. You obviously want to eat big pears, but you don't dare to express them, and you don't dare to make the move of taking big pears, because you are afraid of being accused or ridiculed by others.
Looking at today's chicken baby phenomenon, parents also know that whether the child can earn money to eat when he grows up, and you have not reported cram classes and interest classes today, there is no half-cent relationship; even if you report N more interest classes and cram classes today, it will not guarantee that your children will become famous in the future. Parents also want their children to have more time to play and rest, and to save some money and snacks themselves.
But in fact, if you don't report it, will the teacher have an opinion? Will you look at your baby differently? Will other parents feel that your baby does not like to learn, and do not let their baby not come with your baby? If your baby doesn't know as much as other students, will she be inferior and isolated? Will wa resent me for not enrolling him in interest classes in the future...
Think like this, forget it, or report it, don't seek all right, but seek no regrets.
This is the reason why the behavior of chicken babies has been criticized, and many parents believe that they are "forced by the situation" to do it.
04
However, from another perspective, many parents should reflect on why they do not have the courage and ability to jump out of this group consciousness, think and judge independently, and make independent decisions.
Because you know that with the amount of knowledge you currently have, life experience, etc., it will not bring you a higher and farther vision, and it will not be enough to support you to make long-term, clear goals and plans for your children.
So you can only choose a conservative approach, conforming to the crowd.
I have also discussed the issue of family education in depth with some friends, and my point is that as parents of ordinary families, we only need to work in one direction, that is, to make ourselves as a role model for children to learn and imitate as much as possible.
Of course, there is also an extreme approach, that is, to be ruthless, to treat yourself as a star manager, to train your children as future stars, to formulate a detailed training and learning plan, and to strictly implement them every day, including the children's daily dress, diet, and behavior, and there are specific implementation standards.
This practice is too difficult for ordinary families, extremely difficult for children and parents.
05
Why strive to be a role model for children to learn and imitate?
Because parents are the starting line for children.
Even if the parents' vision and vision are far-reaching, the children will also have a lofty vision;
Parents have a wide range of knowledge, and children will also have a broad knowledge under the influence of their ears;
Parents love learning and love life, and children will also love learning and love life.
Many parents also know these truths and know their shortcomings, but they are not willing to change and improve themselves, because they are too tired and painful.
On the grounds of working to earn money to support the family, refuse to grow, put all their hopes on children and teachers, and then in the name of "love you" and "for your own good", enroll children in various cram classes and interest classes to force children to become talents.
Is it useful? There will also be a little bit, after all, the teacher and the child have put in the effort and sweat.
However, this is not how the school bully was cultivated.
The biggest difference between the school bullies and ordinary people is that they really like to learn.
A person cannot fight for a life for a cause that he hates.
What are your thoughts on this? Welcome to comment and share your thoughts and knowledge with the world.
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