After the husband has a lover, he does not want to divorce: a man who can't put it on both sides doesn't deserve me

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Reader's Letter:

Muzi Lee:

My husband and I fell in love freely and married, and during our relationship, my husband was particularly kind to me, and it was because of this that I decided to marry him.

In the course of the marriage, I confess that I am not a perfect woman, and will get into trouble with my husband because he has forgotten the important holiday that is exclusive to both of us; and because of his indifference to me and his temperament. However, I feel that in a relationship, it is a woman's nature to express real emotions.

In the fifth year of marriage, the husband met a woman who had a family but the couple had been separated for many years through online chat. During this time, my husband often hid from me and dated each other. Eventually, I found out.

My instinctive reaction to this: let my husband choose between me and the other person.

What disappointed me was that my husband couldn't put it down on either side.

In this case, I can only initiate divorce.

To tell the truth, although divorce is not the result I want, I will feel that a man who can't put down on both sides is not worthy of me at all.

The divorce process with her husband was really over, and he began to struggle to keep it, while he and the woman outside the marriage continued to communicate.

This behavior of my husband has strengthened my determination to divorce.

Because the husband did not agree to the divorce, the negotiations were fruitless. At the moment, I have gone through the prosecution process. At this juncture, the husband finally began to soften: I pleaded with me to withdraw the lawsuit, and he was willing to stop contacting the other party in order to preserve the integrity of the marriage.

However, I do not want to withdraw the lawsuit.

I once gave my husband the opportunity to choose, but he didn't take advantage of it.

Muzi Li edited the following words:

Love itself is actually fragile, and without the constraints of a marriage license, two people will even disagree because of a meal, resulting in parting ways. Because love during love, there is only commitment, no legal recognition. Therefore, the love of the love period is the most beautiful: they are afraid of losing, so they will interpret different degrees of mutual accommodation.

The reason why the love after marriage is not so beautiful is because: 1) married life is originally around the continuous repetition of chai rice oil and salt, and after a long time, it will feel boring; 2) many people will feel that getting married is equivalent to completely taking each other down, so less mutual accommodation, more tit-for-tat confrontation, resulting in feelings that will quietly fade between mutual non-cherishing.

We must always believe in the phenomenon that I can love you or change you; instead of fighting for me to love you, you can do whatever you want.

Admittedly, for most people, they are very reluctant to divorce after marriage, and there are three main factors: 1) children; 2) lazy divorce, afraid of tossing; 3) burning money. However, don't forget, everyone has their own bottom line, once they touch each other's bottom line, or if they are disappointed enough, then the inner cognition of this relationship will immediately become "Ta is not worthy".

Regarding feelings, less deduction of "want to have it after loss" and more "mutual cherishing", couples can develop in a benign direction.

For those who you no longer cherish, lost, may be a lifetime.