Some people say that when you reach a certain age, you will find that who you marry is actually the same.
Because marriage has later become chai rice oil and salt, as for love, it has long been consumed in the trivialities of a place.
Is this really the case? Why do we still have to pursue love?
In fact, who to marry, you need to have a certain ability, in order to have a happy marriage. This is the greatest skill of a woman. It's not that marrying anyone is doomed to the same ending.
Some couples look talented and feminine, but they end up living a chicken feather; some couples, who look plain and bland, can love to the point of whiteheading.
What marriage can be like is actually doomed from the beginning. If you are a person who knows how to operate, rather than passively waiting for a man to give you happiness, then your life is doomed not to be too bad.
In marriage, there is a kind of woman who is never afraid of betrayal by men.
She will not check the man left and right, nor will she catch the wind and shadow, and secretly unlock the password of the mobile phone at every turn. On the contrary, such a woman, life is more smooth, men are more and more cherished.
Li Yan (pseudonym) is such a woman, she has a nine-to-five job, and on weekends, she also has to drink tea, watch movies or do beauty with her girlfriends.
Push the child to the husband's side, a flying kiss and leave briskly. When I came back, my husband and children cleaned the house cleanly, and the clothes in the washing machine were dried on the balcony.
The family happily ate dinner prepared by their husbands and talked about some interesting things they had encountered.
Former colleague Wang Xia (pseudonym) can't understand why Li Yan, who is not so virtuous, has always been held in the palm of her hand by her husband, and she makes cattle and horses every day, but her husband is reluctant to say a word to herself.
Wang Xia is a typical virtuous wife and mother, and after marriage, all her thoughts are used in the family. After giving birth to a baby, she did not have a job, because her husband would make money and did not look up to the two dates she earned, so he let her stay at home full-time.
At first, Wang Xia felt that such a day was not bad, although it was hard to take the children, but it was not worth it to rush to work every day in the wind and the sun on time.
She regards being at home full-time as her job, the house is spotlessly clean, her husband comes back every day with delicious meals, and the baby does not let men worry.
However, at first, her husband still felt that she had paid a lot, but slowly she became accustomed to doing housework and managing the children, and her husband returned home, simply just brushing his mobile phone and eating and drinking.
When Wang Xia was unwell, he wanted her husband to cook bowl noodles, but he just ordered takeaway.
It is reasonable to say that Wang Xia's such efforts should be able to exchange for the happiness of the family. But the child was not yet 3 years old, and the news of her husband's betrayal came.
Wang Xia cried one after another, and her husband promised to return to the family, but she always suspected that he was still in contact with the woman outside behind his back.
Wang Xia did not understand that the same woman, herself was not worse than Li Yan, why was she treated differently.
However, after Li Yan talked to her, she suddenly realized that she had made several mistakes in her marriage.
First, treat marriage as the whole of adult life.
Before getting married, Wang Xia also had her own ideas, hoping to live like an independent self.
But after getting married, her husband repeatedly told her to give up her job and focus on the family, and her thinking was gradually corrupted.
The husband loves himself deeply, has the ability to make money, already has a long-term meal ticket, there is no need to fight too hard.
When Wang Xia had this kind of thought, she naturally became depraved. She no longer actively worked, but also because of pregnancy, she completely gave up the position she was going to promote, and was idle at home waiting for childbirth.
But she forgot that life is like a boat against the current, if you don't advance, you will retreat. Time at home passed quickly, and in the blink of an eye, a few years passed, and she was visibly disconnected from society.
Realizing this problem, she had a sense of crisis in her heart and began to test her husband consciously or unconsciously. As a result, I just found the clues of my husband's betrayal.
And the husband Zhenzhen has a word, back home in addition to listening to her "East Parent West Family Short", and then about the child, the other two have almost no common language.
This was Wang Xia's sore spot, and she was irrefutable. Since becoming a full-time housewife, she has managed marriage as a lifelong career, but ignored that her husband has been striding forward.
Her husband's every word and deed, every move, is tied to her, and she pays little attention to him except for his love with the child.
When she found herself disconnected from the outside world, she was extremely unconfident inside, always afraid that she was not good enough and could not grasp the hearts of men.
However, the more anxious you are, the more you take the other party's feelings and attitude towards yourself too seriously, but the more you suffer from gains and losses, and eventually lose your own direction.
This is often the case in the relationship, the more you regard the other party as very important, the more you do not pay attention to your own needs, and in the end, the more the other party does not take you seriously, Wang Xia is losing to this point.
Second, with a strong heart, you will not be afraid of losing.
Li Yan, on the other hand, is different. After giving birth to a child, her husband also advised her to be full-time, but she refused. "Children will grow up very quickly, but I also have to have my own life," she said. ”
She insisted on hiring a nanny to take care of the children, even if she spent all her salary on the cost of the nanny.
Li Yan believes that at any time, women must maintain economic independence, so that they will not be helpless when things happen, which is the basis for their own survival.
Not only does she insist on working, but she also insists on the responsibility of two people sharing housework, and the two children are educated together.
And every week when there is a husband to socialize, there is also time for himself to meet with friends.
Li Yan said that husband and wife together, not one party sacrifices itself to complete the other party, but both sides become better, if not such a goal, then where is the meaning of marriage.
She insisted on doing this, and her husband accepted this reality.
In fact, human plasticity is very strong. Everyone has inertia, women do everything well, when men feel that they are of little use, why should they scramble to take responsibility?
Li Yan did not give up her job, seized the opportunity of promotion, the salary rose, the economy did not have to rely on her husband, usually want to buy anything, as long as you can make your own decisions within the scope of the family's permission.
And women's self-confidence is largely based on economic foundations. Wang Xia's lack of self-confidence stems from the fact that every penny she spends, she has to come from her husband, and she can't stand on her own, which is the biggest weakness.
If the marriage breaks down, then her life will be greatly tested. But Li Yan will not.
On the one hand, money gives her confidence, on the other hand, because she has never been separated from society because of marriage and family, has her own social circle, lives confidently and freely, and firmly believes that the most reliable person in the world is herself.
Therefore, she is not afraid that marriage will change, because she has the ability to dominate her own life.
END.