Author:Yiming (Parents Intensive Reading Author)
Recently, I saw an interesting news that made me cry and laugh.
A mother in Wuxi, Jiangsu Province, was looking through her son's school bag when she saw the title page of her son's language book that read: The target is Tsinghua and Peking University.
The mother looked up and saw that the naughty bag son was sitting at the table at the moment, barefoot on Erlang's legs, biting the pen shaft.
The mother smiled directly: If you can be admitted to Tsinghua Peking University, your old wife will run around the town naked!
I don't know if the child is admitted to Tsinghua, the mother will run naked, but the child must be in tears when he hears this sentence.
Every child longs for the admiration and praise of their parents, but often gets accusations and reprimands from their parents.
If parents were to evaluate their children, let's guess what everyone would say?
"Mischievous,"
"You can't teach anything!"
"I don't like to talk, and I won't call people."
Many parents in line with the principle of modesty, in front of outsiders, we will always pick the child's not, will always count down the child's shortcomings, but forget the child's advantages.
Heard a quote:
Every child has the potential to become an excellent person, only because of the different education of parents, giving children a different life.
Parents love to complain often, blame others indiscriminately, and children will become sensitive and vulnerable.
Parents know how to encourage and appreciate their children, and children tend to be independent and confident.
The words and deeds of adults not only penetrate into daily life, but also affect the child's life.
Children who are suppressed cannot find the light of hope
Her friend Xiaoping is a very well-behaved girl, and every time she mentions her father, she always thinks about the previous incident.
She grew up in the countryside, and she loved singing as a child, and she was always present at every school show.
When Xiaoping was in the fourth grade, she once won the first place in the town in a singing competition in several schools in the town.
She happily returned home with the award, and then compared it to a suitable position.
But her father's words made her mood instantly fall to a low point.
Dad said with his mouth, singing is good, and it is not the first place to learn.
After listening to her father's words, Xiaoping was sad and anxious in her heart, she went back to her room and cried a lot, originally hoping to hear a praise from her parents, but she did not expect her father to say such a chilling word.
After that, Xiaoping was like a changed person, she did not insist on singing anymore, and felt that she would not be appreciated no matter what.
Later, with the help of her uncle, who was a teacher, she found her hobbies and was admitted to the conservatory, where she is now a music teacher.
Xiaoping's uncle changed Xiaoping's fate, without the help of his uncle and the support of his parents, it is really difficult to imagine what kind of future Xiaoping would have.
Children who are not supported by their parents, it is difficult to see hope.
Remember fan mou, a female college student in her 30s who is still at home?
She doesn't work, doesn't socialize, and has been eating her parents at home for 10 years.
Fan's family is not rich, the house is already very old, as if there is no family foundation for her to nibble on the old.
When the reporter asked Fan why he did not work, Fan replied desperately:
"They cut my wings, but they blame me for not flying!"
She told reporters that from childhood to adulthood, her parents have been attacking her in every way, and no matter what she does, she will not get support and encouragement.
No matter what Fan mou does, even if he does it well, he will not get a word of affirmation, even ridicule and ridicule.
Over time, Fan became sensitive and inferior, and became less and less confident in doing things;
Dare not have their own hobbies, dare not talk to strangers, and even completely lose the ability to face the outside world.
After graduation, after Fan changed several jobs, she could not be competent, and she could only choose to go home.
Napoleon Hill, an American successful educator, once said: "Every child has many advantages, and parents are just the opposite, they always stare at the shortcomings of their children, thinking that managing the shortcomings of their children can make children grow better."
In fact, doing so is like a crappy craftsman, it is impossible to make perfect porcelain. ”
Sanmao also once told his father: "For me, the sadness of a lifetime is not to earn the whole world, but to ask you to appreciate me." ”
Children need to be affirmed and appreciated, just as plants need sunshine and rain and dew.
If parents blindly suppress and deny, they will only make children wander and helpless, and lose the motivation to move forward.
Smart parents know how to applaud their children
In a variety show, Fu Seoul is to be a teacher for a young boy named Kai Kai.
At first, Fu Seoul asked Kai Kai how he looked, but Kai Kai did not speak.
In another room, Kai kai's mother told the camera that he was a little shy little boy who didn't like to talk.
Fu Seoul then said to Kai Kai, I think you are very cute, and I am going to accompany you today, what do you think?
The boy instantly became happy.
Accompanied by Fu Seoul, Kai Kai began to write arithmetic.
Fu Seoul looked at it and encouraged him to say, "Do you see that you wrote very quickly?" It's not hard for you at all.
After Kai Kai heard it, he wrote more seriously, and even the numbers that were a little crooked had to be erased and rewritten.
Seeing this seriousness, Fu Seoul quickly blew up the rainbow fart and said, Who has raised such a good son, I have to ask your mother quickly.
After Fu Seoul interacted with him, Kai Kai became confident and started a family routine with Teacher Fu.
In life, Fu Seoul is very good at praising children, and she often praises her son for "making progress in writing" and "has been working very hard, and it is indeed my son".
In her praise and encouragement, the son became a naughty and heart-warming treasure boy.
On the road of parenting, give children more encouragement, less blows, don't skimp on the eyes of appreciation, and children can walk more confidently on the road in the future.
Seeing Fu Seoul with children, I thought of my idol, basketball superstar Michael Jordan.
In high school, whether Jordan played basketball, baseball or football, his parents would always be on the sidelines.
When Jordan first entered high school, he lost the first team of the school basketball team.
He went home crying about it, and his mother told him that it meant he needed to work harder and believed he could do it.
As a result, under the encouragement and support of his parents, Jordan's performance on the basketball court continued to improve, and eventually became a basketball superstar we are familiar with.
As parents, we should treat our children with respect, guidance and support.
This kind of heartfelt expression of appreciation and love is very important for the child's confidence and growth.
Psychologist William James said: "The deepest need of human beings is to feel appreciated." ”
Parents who are in the scene can see their children's problems, and they can also see their children's efforts and struggles.
Children who are appreciated and respected by their mothers are more likely to feel their own strength, so that children are full of hope to take their own life path.
Give your child a little more encouragement, a little less blow
I have seen a question on the Internet: What is the essence of education?
One great answer is:
"The essence of education is love. It is appreciation, understanding and respect; it is letting go, reflecting and guiding. ”
Maybe some parents will say: "Okay, then I praise my children and blow rainbow farts every day!" ”
But any appreciation and praise should be sincere, from the sincere praise, not the flashy praise.
There is an English song "You Raise Me Up", and the lyrics are particularly well written:
You have inspired me, I can stand proudly on the top of the mountains;
You have inspired me, and I dare to brave the danger of sea storms;
I became stronger only because of the help of your shoulders;
You inspired me, and I went beyond what I used to be.
The famous education Zhou Hong said:
"There are two children lurking in every child, a 'bad boy' and a 'good child', and appreciation education is to teach you how to wake up the 'good child'."
Give your child a little more encouragement and a little less blow; allow your child to grow up slowly and don't skimp on your admiring gaze.
Children will inadvertently grow into towering trees with lush foliage.
About the author: YiMing, parents intensive reading columnist, the copyright of this article belongs to Fushu, without authorization, may not be reproduced, infringement will be investigated
Note: The picture source of this article is online, if there is infringement, please contact to delete