Many parents ask me: Usually children are exposed to "bad behavior", will children learn "bad"? If you are exposed to "bad" cartoons, will it be difficult to learn and discipline?
For example, learning pig barking, stepping on mud pits, the protagonist is still very selfish and "overbearing" "Peppa Pig" this cartoon, children love to imitate when they see it, can they still watch it?
This should be the first cartoon for many children, including Little D. Today, I will use this film as an example to give my opinion.
01
Will bad kids be taught?
I remember that after Little D just watched this cartoon, there was a period of time when he saw people greeting people and learning dinosaur calls, Roar ~~~.
Sometimes when I finish speaking, I will add a few pig cries at the end, and then I am very proud, and I am particularly happy.
Then, stepping on the pond on a rainy day is one of her happiest things, and she still insists on calling the "pond" a "mud pit".
If this is what everyone defines as "teaching bad" children, then Little D is indeed taught bad.
But at that time, I didn't go to my heart at all, and when I saw everyone's message that day, I thought about it carefully and found that Little D was indeed affected.
But at the same time, I also thought that Little D would often put "thank you", "please show me XX"; "This is really good" and other words (these are high-frequency sentences in cartoons).
Every time before playing "Mud Pit" (Pond), she would say to herself, "Wait a minute, let me see if it's safe" (this is what George said to him before jumping into the mud pit).
This is the state of children of this age, and if they like someone, they are happy to imitate that person.
Peppa Pig is not perfect, but it is very real, it does not preach from above, but takes the children to explore and experience life together.
I think this is also why Little D likes it, even now, Little D, who has watched other cartoons, still asks to watch "Peppa Pig" from time to time, and then he will still "giggle" with the cartoons like the first time.
The parent's interpretation is the child's eyes on the world
Think about it, is the world that children will come into contact with in the future really as ideal and perfect as we hope? Definitely not.
Even without Peppa Pig, the next child will meet the "bad" child in our eyes, the "skin king", maybe the child will feel cool and want to imitate, right?
If we had thought this out earlier, maybe this cartoon is the starting point for us and our children, and how can we deal with people or things that are not completely correct?
For me, the parent's interpretation is the child's eyes on the world.
This is also why the American Pediatric Association will recommend that if the child starts watching videos after the age of 2, in addition to choosing the right content and controlling the viewing time, parents should accompany the child to watch and explain these contents.
In the case of stepping on a mud pit, I've always felt that children like to play with water, and I remember watching that episode with Little D, we had this conversation:
Paige's stepping on the mud pit is really so much fun
Yes, mud pit ~ hum (little D immediately stood up and jumped up imitatively)
What do I need to wear when stepping on a mud pit?
Rain boots!
Yes, we need to wear rain boots when we step on the mud pit
Another time, we saw that Page did not play with his brother George, and he made his brother cry because he was too young, so we talked about it:
What's wrong with George?
George cried
Why cry?
He was sad because Page wouldn't play with him
Yeah, it would have been sad if I were George
Mom, I'll play with you
Well, thank you. But everyone has the right to choose who to play with. But we do something to make others feel happy as soon as possible... Like what?
Embrace one!
You see, in fact, the children themselves have judgments, which not only come from the cartoon itself, but also from the words and deeds of our parents.
We talk about cartoons with our kids, just reinforcing or affirming the norms we've told them before.
If all I told Little D before was what I thought was "right", then the introduction of cartoons was like the first step for Little D to start contacting this society, and it began to let Little D see "diversity".
I also began to remind Little D to begin to understand what was "right"; what was "tolerable" (like jumping into a mud puddle, premised on the basis of putting on rain boots); and what was "unacceptable".
If a child can continue to think about these three categories of problems from the age of 3 or so, I think she will benefit for the rest of her life.
She can have a more pluralistic value to accommodate differences, and she can have a more independent critical thinking about "temptation".
More importantly, she will always understand that her parents will always be principled tolerance and acceptance, not "my mother will not agree anyway, I will not tell her"; but "I don't want to understand, but I know that I can talk to my mother".
03
If you really learn "bad" behavior, how can you "remedy"?
By the way, I guess you will be curious, how is the situation of little D seeing people greeting people to learn dinosaur calls and talking and adding a few pig calls?
In fact, this is too much in line with the nature of 3-year-old children, she feels that novelty and fun must continue to imitate, if we pay too much attention at this time (denial and stop are also attention), it will strengthen her behavior.
At that time, I just downplayed the treatment, did not evaluate and did not stop.
Then something happened, she met the neighbor's grandmother in the elevator in the morning, she said to the grandmother, "Good morning", and then habitually added the pig bark.
The grandmother said to Little D very seriously, "Are you a piglet?" Why learn to pig bark", the originally elated little D seemed to be confused by this sentence.
I didn't speak on the spot, and I said good morning and goodbye to grandma as always.
After exiting the elevator door, I pulled Little D onto the couch in the lobby and reviewed what had just happened to her.
Finally I pretended to be particularly exaggerated and said to her, "Oh my God, she didn't even know Peppa Pig!" Piglets are all talking like this, hum hum ~~", I also learned three pig calls.
Little D was amused by my last expression, and then said to me in a serious manner, "Mom, we are not piglets, you are mothers, I am Dorothy."
After that time, she slowly gave up the habit of learning to bark pigs
In the matter of being a parent, I have always been a confession, and I really know my "incompetence", and I can't help or manage Little D for a lifetime.
There is only one starting point for everything I do now, and I will not be by her side in the future, will she be able to handle it herself?
Try to let the child experience this real world little by little, giving something less good within the control range.
It's like getting a "social vaccine", which may be a little painful at the moment, but fortunately we can still accompany them now to get through the "side effects" stage.
The attitude towards a cartoon is actually a reflection of our parents' own mentality.
Do we believe in our children's judgment, do we believe in our parents' ability to influence, and do we want to expose our children to the real world?