6 secrets for children to cooperate with, super practical and effective words
Often can hear many parents say that children are not obedient, no matter how to say not to listen, today with you to share six, let the child obey, with your scientific discipline methods, super practical and effective, recommended to collect Oh!
First, replace commands with limited options
We're always used to saying commanding words and turning off the TV right away? Come and write your homework right away, the first reaction you hear, the child wants to resist and escape your command and control, so that we can switch to a limited choice, whether you turn off the TV yourself or your mother to turn it off, whether you are willing to sweep the floor or willing to wash the dishes, listen to you. Let the child make his own choices, so that when the child faces life choices in the future, he will make the choice that suits him according to the truest thoughts in his heart.
Second, clarify the specific requirements instead of non-language
What is non-verbal? Don't run, don't move, don't hit people, don't argue, these are all non-verbal, and the more you say it, the more you will reinforce this behavior. For example, now don't think about a piglet, a pink piglet, a pink piglet in a purple dress, have you noticed? Now that your whole mind is full of this little pink pig, the more you talk about it, the more you emphasize this behavior, and you now understand why you tell the child not to move the child and move around. Let's just state the specific requirements directly, such as sitting down instead of running, and shutting your mouth instead of not arguing.
Third, it is certainly a negative substitution of no
For example, the child says, "Mom, I want to buy snacks to eat." "If you refuse the child, the family has not finished eating, then the child will lose his temper with you, and then quarrel, then you can change to this affirmative negation method: "Yes, as soon as the snacks at home are eaten, we will buy them." only...... With this, the child will not have an obvious sense of rejection, then his acceptance will be higher.
Fourth, replace provisions with agreements
We like to set a lot of rules for children, today you can only watch twenty minutes of TV, today you have to read thirty minutes of books, these are rules, it is a single operation of parents, it is the parents' own wishes.
The agreement is a two-way operation, the child does not have a sense of control, for example, you ask the child's opinion, how long do you think it is more appropriate to watch TV? What are your plans for how long to read the book today? Let the child decide who listens to the most, and listens to his own words the most.
Fifth, replace nagging with gestures and codes
For example, if the child has a bad temper and is always angry and crying, then the mother will discuss with her, and the next time the mother makes a gesture, you will not cry, okay? The name is also called the wordless agreement, but this agreement, must be the child to participate in the design to be more effective, such as the child's emotional management is not good is always angry and crying, so the mother and her to discuss together, the next time the mother a gesture, you will be good or not, such as the mother to make a pause gesture for you or give you a thumbs up, etc., the child said: "Mother I know, this secret code is a secret between us." ”
This kind of code can be a good way to enhance the feelings between parents and children, you know, there are some secrets between children and parents that others do not know, it is a very pleasant thing, they will have a feeling of exclusive pampering.
Sixth, invite cooperation instead of accusations
Accusations are always easy to blurt out, look at you one by one do not know to clean up the housework, the mother is tired and tired of these accusations, nothing more than to vent their emotions, has no effect. We can invite the child to cooperate, the Hercules to help the mother a favor, which boy does not like to call himself Hercules, when the child accepts your invitation, whether it is good or bad, positive feedback, do not say that the child is not doing well, but to say: "If it were not for you hercules today, I really have no way, put these things home, it is so good to have you." "You say so, the child will take the initiative to help you next time."
The above six methods have learned to benefit a lifetime, so let's use them for children.