A few days ago, friends gathered for dinner, the table was drunk and gossiping, and the topic shifted from marriage and family to child-rearing.
Father C suddenly choked up: "Every time I think of CC to marry someone in the future, I can't sleep, and I feel that I don't feel at ease with what kind of person to hand over..."
The straight man of steel burst into tears, almost shocking the jaws of his friends.
I hurriedly hit the round field: "My father is like this, just this one weakness." ”
I'm helpless too! Father C is very depressed just thinking about what his daughter might do in the future. I've been playing my sister more than once to comfort him. The main thing is that "no, no," this pale comfort seems to have been unable to stop the old father's tear glands.
Just make a detailed guide, and you have this article.
How should girls be raised, and parents can be less anxious?
Professor Li Meijin, a well-known expert in criminal psychology in China, once said in a program: "Many families are working hard to train girls in the direction of everyone's show. But a beautiful girl, once married to a rogue, has no ability to protect herself at all, because when she was a child, she was particularly civilized and polite, self-denying. But others are not self-disciplined, others will bully and hurt these beautiful girls.
Therefore, parents want to let their children enter the society safely, and they must teach their children two things, the first is how to know people, and the second is how to protect themselves. ”
1, the more you love her, the more you have to be cruel
When she was young, I heard a particularly romantic saying: "If she is not deeply involved in the world, take her to see the prosperity of the world; if her heart is vicissitudes, take her to ride on a carousel."
After having a daughter, I was extremely afraid. Mom, isn't it that no matter what kind of cabbage the baby is raised, it can't escape the fate of being arched by the pig?
If you don't want to be casually arched by pigs, then you must take her to see the greatest good in the world, and let her see the greatest evil in the world. Of course, we are not going to push the baby into the fire pit. Instead, we must be willing to let our children go to the real world to crawl and even see the world is hot and cold.
Pushing her out is to make her independent. The ability to recognize people, the child can only rely on her own experience accumulation, protect her own armor, she can only polish herself. Without this step, if you really encounter someone with strong camouflage skills, it is useless for your parents to die!
The more experienced a girl is and the more sober she lives, the less likely she is to fall in love with her brain. In this way, when we know people again, we will not be stupid and sweet to imagine human nature too well, leaving a sober and rational.
In addition, it is to read more books. After all, a person's life experience is limited. Reading can experience a thousand lives, while people who do not read can only live once. Reading is not only wise, but also has different life experiences.
Let children go to the book to see great sorrow, great joy, great good and great evil, this is actually a shortcut to accumulate experience!
2, stay away from scumbags, from a young age to teach
A few days ago, the first-instance trial of the Chongqing sister and brother's death case was pronounced, and the two evil men and women were sentenced to death. It's a great pleasure.
The murder that shocked the whole country came to an end. The bitter lord of this accident: Chen Meilin, the birth mother of two children, does not know how long it will take to get out of the pain.
After the verdict of the case, Chen Meilin told the media: "I regret falling in love with him (Zhang Bo) and ruining my life." ”
Chen Meilin is a native of Chongqing City, with a solid family and stable work, who grew up in the favor of her parents and never thought that there was a dark side in society. When she was pursued by Zhang Bo in every way, knowing that the other party was born poor, only had a primary school education, could not find a job, and refused to do hard work, she still married him without hesitation and gave birth to two children in three years.
Until Zhang Bo cheated and completely stripped off the false mask, she still believed in the good nature of human nature and still handed over the child to him unguarded. Too simple to grow up in the environment, the experience of the little white rabbit, so that she can not imagine, a person can be vicious to what extent!
The result of this belief is too painful! Once upon a time, the goal of our daughters was to be "good, simple, untainted by the world, and uninfiled by evil." As everyone knows, such girls can easily become the prey of the wicked. In this complex world, we need to give our daughter a pair of armor to protect herself: to identify scumbags.
Professor Li Meijin said: The father is the first male that the girl comes into contact with in her life, which largely determines the girl's view of marriage and mate selection. Generally speaking, the better the father, the more love he gives to his daughter, and the higher the girl's vision of choosing a mate. It is necessary for the father to accompany his daughter as much as possible to give her enough fatherly love and tell her more about gender and mate selection.
Tell your daughter: A man with a bad temper is not worth making friends with. The most basic quality of an adult is respect for others. A man who does not know how to respect people, is impulsive and irritable, and loses his temper, and takes off his veil, is an incomprehensible barbarian. Such a person will more and more amplify the shortcomings of throwing a tantrum when dealing with people close to him.
Unfaithful men, stay away as soon as possible.
The other day, I saw an incredible legal topic – "You can't ask for a divorce just on the grounds of cheating."
An article published by the Shandong Higher People's Court reads: "You can't just ask for a divorce on the grounds of "cheating".
Screenshot of the content of "You Can't Ask for a Divorce Just on the Grounds of "Cheating"
After reading the last paragraph, netizens directly good guys - "Spouses have unfaithful behavior, my feelings are not broken, I am also quite easy-going ah..." Although the Shandong High Court is only interpreting the Civil Code, but, without any accidents, the masses obviously cannot buy this interpretation:
Some people regard half-heartedness as the nature of men, and that is the rhetoric of men of bad character. A man's most important quality is loyalty, which is the basis for a relationship. There is no way to achieve the most basic loyalty, such a man, no matter how good, is not a good person.
Bottomless "licking" is very dangerous
There is a popular word now called licking dogs, which I actually don't like. A lot of well-behaved women lose with the phrase "He's too good for me, even though he's nothing/nothing." However, if you think about it carefully, you will know that the bottomless tolerance of temper, the infinite patience of willfulness, and the gentleness and thoughtfulness of no temper are common senses of people?
Normal people will have emotions, if a person wants to do a lick without a bottom line, it is likely that he is a dog with ulterior motives. All the gifts of fate have long been secretly marked with prices. Just wait for one day, and make you pay in ways you can't imagine.
Men who are not self-motivated are not worth marrying.
Birth can be poor, talent can not be prominent enough, when married must see whether men are self-motivated. See if he has the enthusiasm for life and the courage to bear hardships and stand hard work, and see if he is willing to work hard for your future.
Living with a person who is willing to work hard can see the hope of life and become a better self. Otherwise, he will not only consume himself, but also pull you along!
Men who have poor relationships with friends and parents are a bit dangerous.
A man doesn't care how good he is to you in the moment. If he does things unscrupulously, pits friends, and does not filial piety to the elderly, it is also a little dangerous. A person's state with his parents is basically his best or worst attitude. If you can't accept him treating you day by day with the same attitude he treats his parents, then you can stay away.
Most likely, that's what he really looks like after marriage.
3 Adopt a daughter, strong in heart is more important than anything
The writer Wang Shuo wrote in the "Letter to His Daughter":
"You have to be rich inside to get rid of these superficial similarities. Making soup is more important than writing poetry, your craft is more important than men, and being strong inside is more important than an asshole. ”
He told his daughter to pay attention to her own inner being, to have the craft of survival, and to be strong enough inside. We often say that raising a daughter is not to give her material wealth, but to raise her to have a strong heart to cope with the chaotic world, an independent ability to survive, and a self-perceived spiritual world.
We must do it to raise a rich daughter: we can't save a penny of the money that should be spent, and we can't waste a penny of the money that shouldn't be spent. What is money that should not be spent? It is to let children pursue a luxurious life, to pursue things that do not belong to their own hard work.
Some time ago, the chat records of a father and daughter were swiped across the network. The father's daughter studied in Spain, and her father gave her ten thousand yuan a month, but the daughter often spent too much, and the father said that he was under a lot of pressure. But the daughter scolded her father and said: "The xxx of the dead mother, who used 50 euros, quarreled with me early in the morning."
She even said: Old fellow, you can't afford to raise this fairy when you don't have children.
Such richness is not pampering, but framed, living harm to their own children, but also pit themselves.
What is the money to spend?
It is for the child to read and let her arm her mind with knowledge. For her to learn the courses that interest her, she can stand confidently in the crowd. Create opportunities for her to see the world and give her enough insight. Take her to some sports to train her physical, courageous and mental qualities.
C Mom says:
"Raising a son to worry about for a while, raising a daughter to worry about a lifetime", the daughter is the parent's little cotton jacket, but also the parent's lifelong concern.
We raise our daughter, do not want her to be a well-behaved girl, let alone let her be stupid and sweet, but strive to make her brave and resourceful, wisdom and courage.
Her physique can be fragile, but she must be strong inside. She can be sentimental, but never forget to be calm and self-sustaining.
Finally, we want to tell her: no matter what you have experienced, Mom and Dad are your eternal dependence, and home is your eternal harbor.