01
After receiving a letter from a reader and reading it, her story is also quite representative in the current society, facing the impact of remarried families on children. We all know that the biggest harm to divorce is the child, especially after both parents have remarried, then the child's situation may be more difficult.
In "Xiao Min's Family", Jin Jiajun shouted a sentence: "What family?" We are not a family for a long time, you and my mother are not a family, I am not a family with me, and I am not a family with you. I don't have a home. ”
After a divorced couple remarries individually, will the child still have a home?
In this article, I write about what happened to the reader, and for the sake of convenience, I will tell it in the first person:
"My son was beaten and scolded at my ex-husband's house, and my current mother-in-law didn't let me take it back, and I wanted to get a divorce."
I also received a call from my son a few days ago, and as soon as I heard his voice, he cried: "Mom, why do you want to divorce your father?" Mom, I miss you so much. My son's words poked me in the heart, and it hurt to death, so I quickly asked him, what's wrong, haven't you been living well lately?
He cried and said, "I think mom, no matter how good my stepmother is, she can't compare to my own mother." ”
My son is eight years old and very sensible, and he rarely said this to me in the past. Every time I went to see him, he told me he was doing fine, but this time it was different. My mother's intuition told me that my son must have been scolded, and my heart began to panic.
From the time I received a call from my son, I was in no mood to go to work and not in the mood to eat. I didn't have time to tell the current one, so I took a leave of absence from my boss and insisted on driving to my ex-husband's house. After the divorce, I moved out of the city before, but it was not too far away from my ex-husband's house, about an hour away.
It was just after four o'clock in the afternoon, and I called my son's homeroom teacher to pick him up.
As soon as we saw him, he cried with me, and I rolled over his clothes and asked my stepmother where she had hit him. He said that I was more angry that day, and I broke my stepmother's lipstick, and then she beat me and scolded me for being "a child with a mother and no mother.". In the past, my stepmother did not dare to treat me badly because I had my grandmother to protect me, but now my grandmother went home. My stepmother also hit my hand with a feather duster.
My son was crying so hard that my heart hurt even more.
I called my ex-husband and asked him what he did to the kids and did he know about the kids being bullied? The ex-husband said that the child is naughty, if he does not break the lipstick of the stepmother, will there be this file now? All day long I only know mischief. The ex-husband didn't take his children's grievances seriously at all.
I was really angry and I said to my ex-husband, "If you don't want custody of your son, you can give it to me, don't be like this, don't raise well." ”
Instead of answering me directly, my ex-husband said, "Now that you're remarried, do you think you still have a choice?" Your current mother-in-law, can you tolerate him? Do you still want custody of your children? You are a remarried woman, what are the options? ”
I listened to my ex-husband's words, and my heart began to feel helpless, so I remembered that I was too hurried to call my current and current mother-in-law. Later, my mother-in-law's phone call came and asked me where I had gone and why I hadn't come back to cook. I said, I'm with my son now.
After hanging up the phone of the current mother-in-law, I wanted to take my son to live with me for two days, I thought how it was my home, I had the right to be the master, but I did not expect that when I drove home, the current mother-in-law pulled a long face at me, and did not say a word to the child. My husband also came back, and then he said, "Why don't you bring him back without saying a word in advance?"
After calming my son's mood, I made a small bed for him temporarily, and then went back to the room to discuss with my husband about taking my son to my side, and now my mother-in-law knocked on the door and came in, she just didn't agree.
"That's your son, what does it have to do with our old Yang family?" Didn't your ex-husband ask for custody of the children? How do you still want to come back. Didn't his stepmother beat him up? How can it drip, boys are naughty, scolding and beating are normal things, if this child does not care to teach, is not all ruined. You want to take the child back, I don't agree with Ha, I was expecting you to have a son, now what is it, still not born? Our family also has a girlfriend, so we are counting on you. ”
I look embarrassed, have another child, have a child with my current husband, am I crazy?
There was no discussion with the current and my mother-in-law that day, and neither of them agreed to let me take the child back. And what makes me very unhappy? The current one is starting to manage my salary, which means I can't spend too much money on my son. I suddenly regretted remarrying, what is the point of remarrying, I can't even keep my own son.
Still want me to have another child, crazy? I will not have any more children.
"My son was beaten and scolded at my ex-husband's house, and my current mother-in-law won't let me take it back, and I want to get a divorce."
Now it's such a situation, it's quite complicated, and I thought about it, if they insist on not letting me take it back, I can only divorce. The relationship with the current one is relatively weak, I have to be a stepmother for his children, but he can't treat my children equally, what is the point of such a marriage?
It was so weak that he couldn't even protect his own son.
When I first divorced my ex-husband, it was because the two people's feelings were broken and they couldn't go on, but after the divorce, I found another one, and found that it was better not to look for it. I don't plan to get married again in this divorce, in fact, I think clearly, people are selfish, you let him be good to your children, it is an unlikely thing, I also see clearly. Like the TV series "Little Minjia", it is too little.
02
YIBAO emotionally said
Why do I say that after reading her letter, I have mixed feelings, because I know that there are still a lot of such things now.
There was a divorced woman in our village who had two daughters with her ex-husband and one from her ex-husband. Now she is remarried, and she is also married to a divorced, man's family with a son and a daughter. Then after getting married, she had another son, which she had born to her current son. Like her, she will only kiss her own children, can a few children really achieve a bowl of water? It's hard.
The remarriage family is too complicated because it involves not only your ex-child, but also your current relationship with the ex-child, and even your relationship with the current child.
We often say that most of the couples who marry twice are thieves, and they have something to do with this aspect.
The reader in the article can't stand her son being wronged, so she wants to take her son to her side, but she doesn't expect that her current and current mother-in-law are opposed. She was powerless, and after remarriage, she could not protect her son. When a mother can teach her children a lesson, she can't see others treat her children so viciously. And she doesn't want to remarry, and if she has another child, the marriage relationship will not be more complicated.
My advice is: before divorced people choose to remarry, be sure to ask the other party whether the other party can accept your children, if the man and the mother-in-law can not accept you and the ex's children, then simply do not remarry. At any time, your child is first, and no one else can be replaced.
Of course, if the other person doesn't accept your child, then you can only break up or divorce.
Remarriage should be cautious, but also to consider each other's character, we people sometimes can not be too selfish, you care about everything, then you are still single. You make people do their duty to your children, but you can't accept her children, and there is such a thing under the heavens.
I hope that divorced people and remarried people will deal with the problem of children well, do not let children be affected by your adult marriage, or let them grow up happily. If the person you are about to marry does not accept your children, I advise you, or be alone, you are free, but if you are two people, you will be in trouble.
Today's topic: If the current can't accept your ex-child, will you get a divorce? Welcome to leave a message.
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★ Author: YIBAO; emotional original author, writing about the warm emotional affairs of this world.