Regarding love, the Russian writer Sukhomlinsky once said in the book "Reflections on Love":
The deeper the couple trusts each other, the stronger the feelings of belonging to each other.
This sentence tells us: trust is the basis for the stable development of love relationships, in the married life, husband and wife only to achieve mutual trust, they can think together, work together to make the family life happy and warm.
The establishment of trust between husband and wife requires a long process of accumulation, and the collapse of trustworthiness only takes a moment.
In real life, some people do not understand this truth, because there is no sense of boundaries in interacting with the opposite sex, do not know the feelings of the marriage partner, they are likely to inadvertently sting the marriage partner, so that they lose the trust of the marriage partner.
Marriage is a long journey, people with marriage contracts, when interacting with other members of the opposite sex, should know how to maintain a sense of boundaries, only in this way can they gain the trust of their marriage partners, so that their married life can obtain long-term happiness.
Feng xia (pseudonym) and Jianjun (pseudonym) have been married for 20 years, and the two of them run a logistics and freight company together, and although their lives are dull, they are also happy.
But not long ago, an incident between the two people has made the feelings between the two people cool down rapidly, and the marriage relationship is about to collapse.
That day, when Jianjun looked at the monitoring inside the logistics store, he found that a nearby man doing building materials business came to the store to deliver goods, and there was only his wife Fengxia in the store at that time, who joked with Fengxia after completing the delivery process and slapped his hand on Fengxia's buttocks.
Seeing this picture, Jianjun was indignant, but what made him feel even more unbearable was that in the face of the strange man's harassment behavior, his wife Fengxia only stopped it with her hand, but did not show anger and dissatisfaction.
Even if Jianjun was bitter and depressed in his heart, he still hid this matter in his heart, and he wanted to wait for his wife to take the initiative to confess to himself, but after a week, his wife still seemed to be fine, and everything was business as usual.
Jianjun couldn't bear it, so he took out the surveillance video and asked his wife, what was going on at that time?
After Feng Xia heard her husband's words, she explained that when he came to deliver the goods, after saying two sentences, he patted me for a moment, I stopped him, I was wearing a cotton jacket and cotton pants, just standing like this, I was a person with a big grin, and I didn't care about talking to others, so I didn't take it seriously.
But after listening to this, the husband Jianjun still had questions in his heart, why did the man not show anger after photographing his wife?
Feng Xia further explained: Anyway, that person (the man who delivered the goods) is not the lord and noble (not the main noble: the meaning of Henan dialect is not self-respecting), he likes to joke with others, I think he is not the main noble, I still say to him so much why? People often ship here.
Fengxia believes that this is an indifference, that is, the slap and slap between the two fights, and she also ridicules her husband for "watching out", accusing him of not using surveillance to monitor himself.
Seeing his wife's attitude, Jianjun collapsed, and he decided to make a move to make his wife realize the seriousness of this matter and the harm it caused himself.
Jianjun said to his wife, this is a logistics outlet, this is also monitoring, the two of you are here "slapping and beating", if there is no monitoring, in other places, what are you two doing?
Jianjun first called the delivery man, and the result was that the man's wife answered the phone, and Jianjun said to her, After your husband goes to the logistics to pick up the goods, he can't enter our cabin.
The man's wife listened to Jianjun's words, and it was unclear, so she asked What did Jianjun mean?
Jianjun said, your family does building materials business, others come to your house to buy goods, customers have to pat you on the butt, right?
Jianjun told the other side that if there was another time, he would not be so polite.
Then Jianjun did another thing that made his wife feel miserable, and in order to make her realize the seriousness of this matter, Jianjun sent surveillance video to his wife's mother's family group.
Feng Xia said that the meaning of Jianjun is to tell her mother's family that she is not the lord and noble.
Feng Xia's brother also said to Jianjun, what do you mean by this? The two of them just slapped and slapped, and didn't do anything out of the ordinary.
Listening to this, Jianjun said with a gamble, you are very right, I think too much, I should not ask this matter, right, I should not even ask.
The two things that Jianjun did under the collapse made his wife Fengxia feel miserable, and Fengxia said that Jianjun has always been a suspicious person, which makes her feel depressed in her married life, and she does not want to stay here for a day.
Jianjun also felt that there was an emotional crisis between him and Fengxia, but why did Jianjun react so radically just because his wife was fighting with other members of the opposite sex?
It turned out that Jianjun was not highly educated, perhaps for this reason, as well as his experience in his youth, he had some unconfidence, the more he loved his wife, the more suspicious he became, the more he wanted to control his wife in his palm, but it was precisely for this reason that he would make his wife unable to feel trusted in his married life.
Jianjun and Fengxia jointly run a logistics and freight company, the two of them work together to run a marriage and family, and they have developed inseparable feelings for each other, and Jianjun does not want this marriage to end.
Under the persuasion of the mediator, Jianjun said some soft words to his wife, and the wife finally smiled, believing that as long as they can trust each other, the marriage between the two of them will be able to achieve long-term happiness.
At this point, the marriage contradiction between Jianjun and Fengxia was successfully resolved.
Regarding love, the French writer Flaubert once said this:
In love, one can forgive serious indiscretions, but one cannot forgive those infidelities.
The enlightenment brought to us by this sentence is that loyalty is the basis of the stability of love relationships, for those who are not confident, the more they love a person, the more they will show suspicion in the love relationship, but as long as the husband and wife are loyal to each other and work together, they will be able to resolve the contradictions between each other and jointly run the married life warmly and happily.
The marriage contradiction between Jianjun and Fengxia began with Fengxia's "fighting" behavior with others, which made Jianjun feel that his wife was "not the lord and noble" and became suspicious of his wife.
But it is precisely because the two have established an inseparable love relationship in their 20 years of married life that they can finally resolve the contradictions in the marriage relationship and regain the happiness in the marriage life through communication.
From the marriage relationship between Jianjun and Fengxia, we can get at least three enlightenments:
First, people who have a marriage contract should have a sense of boundaries when interacting with other members of the opposite sex.
Marriage is a responsibility, and people who have a marriage contract should not only care about their own feelings, but also care about the feelings of their marriage partners.
Feng Xia is a person with a cheerful personality and a big grin, maybe she doesn't care, outsiders joke too much with him, will make her husband feel pain.
If Fengxia knows how to care about her husband's feelings, maintain a certain sense of boundaries when interacting with other members of the opposite sex, and do not let the other party joke too much with herself, her married life with her husband may be happier.
Second, in the marriage relationship, there should be more trust between husband and wife.
The crisis in Jianjun's marriage with his wife may stem from his distrust of his wife, precisely because he sent surveillance video to his wife's mother-in-law group, which made her deeply distressed and wanted to escape the marriage.
In fact, others fight with Fengxia, the mistake is not in Fengxia, if Jianjun can warn the joker at the same time, choose to trust his wife, then he will definitely get his wife's gratitude.
It may be because Jianjun is not confident enough, he did not trust his wife at the same time, to make the two marriage feelings cool down, if Jianjun can trust his wife more, perhaps the marriage between the two of them will be happier and more stable.
Third, when there is a contradiction in married life, husband and wife should communicate in a timely manner.
After seeing the surveillance video of others fighting with his wife, Jianjun did not choose to ask his wife the reason at the first time, but hid this pain in his heart, hoping that his wife could take the initiative to confess to himself.
But Fengxia, who is cheerful and has a big grin, did not take this matter to heart, and she did not tell her husband in time that others joked with her, which made the contradiction between her and her husband more and more intense.
If Jianjun could communicate with his wife in time as soon as he saw the surveillance, if Fengxia could stop the other party's behavior on the day when others joked with her, and tell her husband about it in time, perhaps there would be no such contradiction between the two of them.
When there is a contradiction in marriage, only when couples know how to communicate in a timely and frank manner can they finally harvest happiness in married life.
(Picture from the Internet, invasion and deletion)