The year 2021 that just passed was the year of the death of the rich group, Ali's Ma Yun, Evergrande's Xu Jiayin, Taihe's Huang Qisen, New Oriental's Yu Minhong, once rich on the side, the big guy who climbed the rich list fell off the altar one by one. At the same time, the lives of ordinary people in the past two years have become more and more difficult, and the epidemic that was thought to be over for half a year still shows no signs of ending after two years. When the rich fall, they can still have no worries about food and clothing, while the fear of unemployment is overwhelming as The average person's economy declines.
No one would have expected to experience such ups and downs, and originally thought that they could have a smooth and stable life, but suddenly the wind on the flat ground rose and the big waves struck.
Over the past week, I have been thinking about several questions, how should our lives be spent in order to be meaningful? What exactly does it look like to be a person or something that is meaningful to us?
It wasn't until I recently saw that Luo Yonghao had finally paid off 600 million yuan of debt after two years that I suddenly realized that life is not because it has meaning, but because we have worked hard, life is a meaningful work. It can only be ourselves who give meaning to life.
In my opinion, in order to turn people's lives into works, we need to see clearly and live thoroughly in the three aspects of emotions, career and family. Today's article will talk about some of my views from these three aspects, and the words of the family are for reference only.
1, emotion: young people should cross the love robbery, middle age should go to the heart demon
2, career: the relationship is the most important relationship of middle-aged people
3, family: affectionate and long-term companionship, love does not need to say more
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Cognition determines the level, choice is greater than effort, independent thinking makes us not blindly follow or submit.
"Not only the top, only the truth" is the basic value of self-media people such as me.
Safeguarding the interests of ordinary people is the conscience of self-media people such as me.
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Young people should cross the love robbery, middle age should go to the heart demon
Some time ago, I happened to read a novel published in 1984, "Lover" (France: Margaret. Duras), the novel is not long, basically a business trip, you can read it on the round-trip high-speed train. Although it is a novel with a female theme, it tells very thoroughly how the emotional injuries suffered in childhood affect a person for life.
The heroine Duras died early because of her father's death, and her mother lost her temper and angered her because she was delirious due to investment fraud, and the stormy curse accompanied her for almost fifteen years. At the same time, because the mother doted on the eldest brother, the eldest brother has been bullying her and the second brother. Growing up in such a family, she became sensitive, vulnerable, and insecure
This bitter child is full of disgust for home and full of longing to be loved. She met a man when she was 15 who got her love with a cigarette and a luxury car pick-up.
Perhaps, a child who is bitter and accustomed will be particularly satisfied with a little sweetness.
However, even such a love is still rare to end well, and under the strong intervention of the man's father, the abandoned Duras leaves the sad place with his mother. The love of his youth became a knot in Duras's life that could not be erased.
Although some people say that "not everyone is suitable for growing up with a white head, some people are suitable for growing up, some people are suitable for living together, and some people can only be missed for a lifetime"
We were all young, and in the most fragile years of the spiritual world, we were not afraid of poverty and poverty, we were not afraid of the future, and what we feared most at that time was that there were no people in this world who understood us, no people who loved us. Because of this, if you do not survive the love disaster when you are young, it is likely that you will sink into it for the rest of your life.
Advise all readers, do not be entangled in the love of youth, not all encounters can blossom and bear fruit, when a relationship with the passage of time and gradually drift away, do not cling, let go of the past, let go of the tangled self, put the past in the heart, in order to meet better people, in order to meet a better self.
Stills from the movie "Sweet Honey"
In fact, Duras's story has a follow-up, and many years later, when the man was passing through France, he called and begged her to change his mind. But she was unmoved and flatly refused. Because at this time, she was already in love, married, and had children, but the good times were not long, and after the death of her first child, she experienced divorce, remarriage and childbirth, and the ups and downs of divorce.
Some people say that "people go to middle age and everything is rested", middle age is the watershed of life, the body begins to decline, the pressure of life is as great as it is, there are thousands of thoughts in the heart, but no one cares. The demons in the hearts of middle-aged people are the regrets of their youth - dreams have not been realized, and some are the destruction of reality. Work is difficult to do, life is difficult, and everyone who enters middle age must face it.
I don't know if you have ever felt this way, something that was difficult at the time, but when you look back, you don't think it's so difficult. This is because after surviving the current difficulties, it is a smooth road again. And every time you get through it is the time to defeat your own demons, as long as you pass this level, you have made a big step forward, whether it is ability or state of mind.
The relationship is the most important relationship in middle age
Our common relationships can be broadly divided into three categories:
1. Blood relations, such as: parents, children, brothers, sisters
2. Romantic relationships, such as: friends, couples, couples, classmates
3. Relationship, such as: boss, shareholder, partner, colleague
If you had to sort it, what kind of relationship would you rank first? In my ranking, I put the relationship first, not that other relationships are not important, but that whether it is blood or affection, you need to rely on the relationship to survive well.
The poor and lowly couples of the ancients talked about Pepsi Lament, in fact, not only husband and wife, parents and brothers need a material basis to maintain. When your career is successful, your parents can get the best care, and they will be respected enough among their neighbors and friends; your children will be more or less extra care from teachers, and they are less likely to be bullied by their classmates; when you have money and a career, you will find that there will be more and more friends who come to you, and there will be no shortage of people who take the initiative to give hugs - this is why women in big cities put material conditions in front of them when choosing a mate. The more high-income people realize the importance of the relationship
Recently, the youngest daughter of a colleague in my company (only two and a half years old) was diagnosed with cancer, which costs about two million dollars for treatment. He sold his family's property, sold the car and barely raised half of the cost of chemotherapy, and he and his wife discussed resigning together to take the child to Beijing Hospital for treatment. When he came to me to resign, I gave him a seemingly cold-blooded piece of advice from outsiders: He continued to work and had his wife take the children to the doctor.
I don't know if any readers can understand my suggestion, Yu Qing, when the child is sick, it is best for parents to be around, but the treatment cost of two million is not enough even if the house is sold, insisting on work can take home twenty thousand yuan a month, so that the child can get better treatment. Choosing between emotion and reason is a huge test for anyone.
The reason why most ordinary people's families are full of contradictions is that the economic pressure is too great, and there was once an expert who investigated the reasons for divorce, and the first of them was that the income was not enough to meet the needs of family members.
It is strongly recommended that ordinary people, who want family harmony, are much more effective than coaxing their wives to be happy every day, so that she can shop freely without considering the price.
Sort out the order of these three relationships, our life will not be chaotic and painful, have a stable career, family and affection can be well maintained.
Affectionate is not as long as a long-term companion, and there is no need to say much about love
I like the saying "The heart is not love, the heart is the true love", everyone seems to like to treat the feeling as love, unconsciously want to live with the person who has the feeling. In fact, feeling is just desire, the real love should be that you are willing to work hard to do something, for yourself and each other's mental maturity, bring continuous progress, so that two people continue to achieve a more intimate relationship, this process of effort is called love.
The fact that two people start a family is actually a process from heart to mind. From young acquaintance to companionship to old age, it is a process that constantly enters each other's hearts. I believe that decades of companionship are worth a thousand words.
Originally a mess, it is worth talking about, it is a special way, why do we return together?
Because of the relationship between professions, I have seen too many powerful people, when the career is flourishing, that is, when the family is broken, often when the career is at its peak, I no longer look up to the people who accompany my growth, and think that I deserve to have better people. My view is that the stronger their abilities, the greater the harm to the company in the future. Because their hearts are not strong and they are not tolerant, it is easier to lead the team astray.
The most important relationship in the family is the relationship between husband and wife, and only when the relationship between husband and wife is long and stable, children, parents, etc. can be well maintained. The question of whether to save the wife first or save the mother first, which is taken out for soul torture on the Internet, is a joke, and if the relationship between husband and wife as the pillar of the family cannot exist, the family is basically broken.
How to maintain a good relationship between husband and wife? My answer is the title of this subsection – affectionate and long-lasting companionship, deep love needless to say
Getting up ten minutes early in the morning to buy a steaming bun for your lover, and seeing his favorite baked sweet potato on the way to work, is far more reliable than buying 999 roses at the festival. This way of expressing love is what is most needed for long-term relationships - people who can make you feel incomparably at ease, and home that makes you incredibly warm.
epilogue:
2021 has been a tough year for most people, but fortunately, the hard year has passed. In difficult times, all we have to do is to manage the three most important things in our lives, emotions, careers, and families.
Honest work, down-to-earth people, to believe that fate will not treat honest people badly, I have seen too many people who have thoughts everywhere, and people who fight with people all the time often do not have too good results, and honest people who are a little silly and a little more magnanimous can finally gain far more than everywhere.
Maybe this is what it is - the heart has mountains and seas, quiet and not arguing
I wish all fans and friends health, safety and smooth sailing in 2022!
There are still more than 1,000 fans and 20,000, please support you a lot, the wish of the Year of the Ox is to have more than 20,000 fans
This article is the last long article before the Spring Festival, I will go home to reunite with my family next week, and only send some short essays during the Spring Festival, please forgive me.