How to forget the white moonlight in his heart after marrying a man with a cinnabar mole in his heart

Zhang Ailing once said: "Maybe every man has had two women like this, at least two." Married to a red rose, over time, the red changed a touch of mosquito blood on the wall, and the white was still the bright moonlight in front of the window; Married to a white rose, the white is a grain of rice stuck to the clothes, and the red is a cinnabar mole on the heart. ”

There is a more popular version of this sentence.

"Very few people end up marrying someone they like and instead choose the right person. What about the people you like? Keep it in your heart. ”

There is also a saying that "men can't forget their first love." ”

This kind of little secret of yin and yang, everyone may not be tacit, right? However, what if he accidentally unlocked the Moonlight Treasure Box in his heart?

01

A girl came to consult and told me a story.

Boys and girls are college classmates, attend classes together, participate in club activities together, have similar interests and hobbies, so they are often together in their spare time, and the two are still fellow countrymen, so they always go home together.

It is also natural to have a long-term relationship. The boy was very good, and she was not the only one who chased him, but he had always been very cold, and he simply refused, so at first she did not think that one day they would become boyfriend and girlfriend. His care for her was also more like the care between his fellow villagers, but this little bit of gentleness was enough to melt a heart that was already pouring out for it.

The two get along, it has always been that this girl is more active, and the boy does not refuse, over time, the girl has gradually forgotten that love should be sweet, and has long been accustomed to "plain and plain is true".

Two years after graduation, after they split up several times, they held hands and walked into the wedding hall.

After marriage, he still has such a cold personality, but when he is with his daughter, he is like a different person, spoiled, and very patient, and he will not be angry at any way she makes trouble.

This girl, who has become a woman, can't help but often eat her daughter's vinegar, but they all say that her daughter is her father's lover in her previous life, and it is quite normal to think about it.

Until one day she found a video on his computer E disk, recalling the bits and pieces of the two together, the words immediately appeared in her mind: "He is not high cold, but the warmth is not you." ”

In that video, he walks along the streets of a city with a camera and tells him about his relationship with another girl. He reminisced fondly about the taste of a certain dish they had eaten together, tirelessly repeating what they had said, and assured her with a handful of snot and a handful of tears that everything would follow her in the future.

At the end, he said solemnly to the camera: "From now on, I will never fall in love with anyone else again." My heart is here with you, buried here forever and ever. ”

"So what have I been all these years?" Doesn't he care if he loves or not, as long as I'm obedient enough? The girl, whose mood had always been relatively stable, could no longer control the tears in her eyes and choked up and asked me.

Although many marriages are just living together, no one can accept that they are the one who has been made up, let alone that they have been paying with their hearts and lungs, but they find that the other person has not been in the game.

As Xue Zhiqian sang in the song, "I turned a blind eye to the performance that should accompany you, and forced a person who loves you the most to improvise." ”

The beauty of marriage is that we are each other's only, can not tolerate the position of the third person, even if two people are noisy or cold, do not want others to mix, so many couples can accept unkind love, but absolutely do not accept the third party.

"Is there still contact now?"

"I don't know. I have always believed in him, but he still keeps this video, doesn't that mean that he is still in love? Having been lukewarm to me for so many years, doesn't that mean that you remember the previous words? ”

"So what do you want him to do?"

"Forget her completely."

"You can give it a try."

After half a year, she told me: "Out of curiosity, I found the girl with the help of a strong circle of friends and took the initiative to talk to her about the events of that year." She was a very nice person and said she didn't expect herself to cause so much trouble in my life. Although she didn't feel the need, she agreed to my proposal and the three of them had a special date that spanned time and space. ”

"What is your husband's attitude?"

He was taken aback and a little angry, but he didn't say much. Since then, I have slowly become more enthusiastic about me, and I think I should let it go. ”

"Perhaps, he didn't think about it, but the promise he had made did change his attitude towards feelings, but he didn't realize it either."

02

I believe that many people are curious about why men always can't forget their first love or someone who has a crush, in fact, women are the same.

There are also people who take the initiative to consult how to forget the ex or the goddess in their hearts? There are also people who obviously love their current wife and want to be single-minded about her, but another woman's figure still appears in their minds from time to time. Some people will still talk about the girl they once loved when chatting with their buddies after tea and dinner.

Of course, there are also people like this girl who want to understand why the people around them always can't forget others? Will also be very distressed should not be calculated?

Roles are swapped, too, and many women have a love in their hearts that they can't let go.

Such bridges abound in movies and TV series.

Rene Liu filmed "Later Us", and almost everyone thought that she was filmed for Chen Sheng.

At the beginning, he wholeheartedly helped her debut, had the grace of knowing her, and she expressed his admiration for him in many public places despite the fact that he was married. When the concert was held, she saw him suddenly come on stage, and she would turn into a shy little girl in a second.

But who can say that Chen Sheng has already let go of Liu Ruoying in his heart?

In the movie, Mi Qing and Xiao Xiao met by chance on the train returning home for the New Year. The two have a common dream, work together in Beijing, soak each other, know each other, live under the same roof, but in the end they missed it. Going around, I saw that Qing was married and had her own children.

If it weren't for the reunion, he himself wouldn't have realized that his heart had always left a place for Xiao Xiao. Of course, in the end, they missed it. How many such stories are there in reality?

Perhaps, everyone has such a story in their hearts, but few people have the opportunity to meet again like the people in the movie, so Rene Liu specially arranged such a reunion in the movie, but in the end it is to be missed.

Just like in reality, she and Chen Sheng missed it after all.

03

Some people say that she wants to give herself an answer, and also gives an answer to us who have similar experiences with people in the movie.

I don't know if the strange people say to argue that "if you marry a cinnabar mole in your heart, you must forget the white moonlight", what kind of reason should you sharp-tongued debaters say.

However, if you have carefully read the debate, you will understand that every truth is not invulnerable, and each answer has a specific scope of adaptation, so whether you should forget it is only the wisdom of the benevolent.

What I do know is that we always have the desire to end the desires, questions, and even human life propositions that have been opened, which is an instinct.

Psychologists believe that people have a need for cognitive closure. In simple terms, it refers to the individual's motivation to seek knowledge in the face of uncertain situations - "people always hope to find a clear answer to a problem, no matter what kind of answer."

Because any clear answer compared to chaos and uncertainty will make people feel cognitively comfortable."

Simply put, what you don't get is always good, but it doesn't mean you have to get it, but you want to know what it would be like if you got it.

Everyone has their own unfinished business, and it doesn't have to be a fatalistic grandiose. Watching half-forced aborted movies or novels, deliberately going to eat restaurants that just closed their doors, and these are unfulfilled wishes until we look for a chance to complete them. We are just as concerned with fulfilling these wishes.

The best way to put an end to this desire is to put an end to it.

Just like that girl, like Rene Liu, like See Qing.

However, after more experience, we will understand that not everything needs an answer. As Yukio Mishima once wrote in his short story, "Certain hidden wishes in our hearts, once fulfilled, tend to have a feeling of being deceived."

White moonlight, or hanging high in the sky.