Should we talk about money among lovers? In the traditional concept, the cost of couples to eat, watch movies, shopping and other expenses must be paid by the man, which not only shows the man's generosity, but also shows the man's sincerity, so many women will pursue whether their husbands are willing to give themselves money as a criterion for assessing whether the relationship is sincere.
After all, love is beautiful and should not be tarnished by the smell of copper, but this kind of romance only exists in romance novels, after all, we live in the real world, and behind every romance there is real money.
Husbands and wives should talk about money, but talking about money feels far away and is always intimate. Isn't it a shame that you have to pay for AA after every relationship? I think this practice is also unacceptable to many girls. In the TV series "Heavenly Dao" starring Wang Zhiwen and Zuo Xiaoqing, adapted from the Douban novel "The Distant Savior", the dialogue between Ding Yuanying and Rui Xiaodan made me realize that husband and wife should talk about money.
Rui Xiaodan is completely in love with Ding Yuanying of the ghost horse, but she knows that Ding Yuanying is just a passerby, not a returnee, so she wants to use Wangmiao Village to help the poor and let Ding Yuanying stay a little longer. She was very familiar with human nature and saw Rui Xiaodan's kindness. As she continued to engage, she fell in love with this beautiful, independent, brave and easy-going girl. Rui Xiaodan hopes to last forever and hopes to use Ding Yuanying's judgment to co-create a structure for their future.
Ding Yuanying gave Rui Xiaodan two suggestions. The first is not to seek work and life, the significance of requiring a degree is not great, it should be applied to what it has learned, it does not affect the creation, it does not affect the business, and it is only for ten years and eight years, just to have a learning environment. Second, I will lend you $5 million at an annual interest rate of 3%, paying a lump sum of principal and interest of $7.25 million in the 15th year. You gave me the money to buy a house like this in Berlin and supported me. The loss of the value of the house is 2%, the loss of 1.5 million in 15 years, plus the interest of 2.25 million in 15 years, the absolute risk of 3.75 million left, this is the price you have to pay to prove that standing and talking does not hurt. In my case, it is working capital, in your case, it is to accept me.
Rui Xiaodan said. "What if you think I'm too old in five years?" Ding Yuanying said: "It is possible, and there is more than one if, maybe in five years you will think I am mediocre, maybe one day you will sweep me out of the house, which does not affect the independent debt relationship, nor does it change the facts today." In five years, I won't be too old for you? Five years later, when I turn into a wolf, is it worth looking back at me? "
When I first saw this conversation in Doudou's novel "Distant Savior", I was very disgusted with Ding Yuanying, Rui Xiaodan loved you like a middle-aged uncle, what are you still insisting on? This money was thus given to Rui Xiaodan. In the words of some women now, "People are mine, don't say your money", mention loans, such obvious settlement, too indifferent, too unvalued feelings, how hurtful. But a closer look, I found that Ding Yuanying is actually a good person, and it is precisely because he cares too much about his feelings with Rui Xiaodan that he will talk to her about money.
01 The feeling is unreliable
Nowadays, the two love each other, swear by each other, do not care about personal interests, but after a long time, watching each other two tired, they pay more than me, he pays less, and begins to complain to each other, one shot and two scattered. The party who gives more will feel unworthy, so they will ask for the gifts they give and the costs they spend together, and in the end they will become enemies who will never be able to get together.
Indeed, relationships are the least reliable, like flowers in a mirror or the moon in the water, beautiful but unstable. This story is similar to the story of Ding Yuanying and Rui Xiaodan. Now Rui Xiaodan likes Ding Yuanying's charm, but what if one day Rui Xiaodan does not like Ding Yuanying's mediocrity, or Ding Yuanying becomes a perverted person who is not worthy of Rui Xiaodan's love? On the other hand, Ding Junhui likes Rui Xiaodan's youthful beauty and casualness, but if one day Rui Xiaodan is old or becomes an old lady who can talk, will Ding Junhui still love her as before? If we look back at the ending of Zhao Liying and Feng Shaofeng, which is what we call the Golden Boy and Jade Girl, we can see that love, no matter how beautiful, is the most unreliable thing.
By establishing a debt relationship that is contractually binding on both parties, you can minimize your losses and avoid being penniless. In this way, women will not be encouraged by being loved, and men will not make aggressive moves because of the love they give, leaving a beautiful illusion, making the other party a shameful rag, and one day meeting, and can come out with honor.
02 Stand together and talk and respect each other
Rui Xiaodan said. "There are only two ways for men and women to talk, either lying down or standing". Those who think that men should give money to women, and that expenses during the period of co-living should be paid by men and women, are set on the premise of lying down with men and talking. Why do men have to bear the cost because I am a woman, this is taking advantage of the superiority of female character to darken Chen Cang, take it for granted, in this case you can only lie down and talk, not talk about mutual respect.
For women who lie down and chat, gender background is an advantage, they can take for granted by this alone, but as a woman who wants to stand up and chat, such as Rui Xiaodan, this is her psychological need as a woman. She could ask Ding Yuanying for a car and real estate, for gold and jewelry to lie down, but she could never ask for the myth of Wang Miao Village as a gift, which was the difference between a woman standing and lying down and talking.
In the heavenly joy of Rui Xiaodan and Ding Yuanying, every time they are together, it is Rui Xiaodan who spends money, Ding Yuanying never asks, he does not care, but he knows that Rui Xiaodan does not care about money, he can give Rui Xiaodan things beyond money, such as the myth of poverty alleviation in WangMiao Village, and enlightenment. Because Rui Xiaodan and Ding Yuanying stood together and chatted, they all respected each other very much and never forced each other to do things they did not want to do. Rui Xiaodan insisted on being a criminal police officer for two more years, although Ding Yuanying was worried about her fate, he did not kidnap her in the name of love to make her quit, but through the poverty alleviation in Wangmiao Village, the journey to Jerusalem, and the emergence of the road to salvation, Rui Xiaodan consciously opened up and took the initiative to change himself.
03 Talking about money is the only way to be responsible for a relationship
After realizing this, Rui Xiaodan said, "Seeking truth and being pragmatic is a myth, being able to tell the truth and do practical things is a god", and for feelings, the so-called "heart and heart are imprinted, never abandoned", "mountains have no edges, heaven and earth are united". Love vows such as "Boys have tears and do not flick", "Mountain Alliance Sea Oath", "Heaven and Earth For a Long Time" and other love vows are all beautiful expectations. It turns out that things are constantly evolving, and people are constantly changing, and it is precisely because there are too few such examples that it becomes a good wish, and a promise at this time is a joke at another time. Zhao Liying and Feng Shaofeng vowed to be together forever until death separated us, but eventually divorced.
Husbands and wives talking about money together is responsible for feelings, and men who don't talk about money with you, don't run to get married, and only talk about money are really responsible for you. In fact, you will find that in your life, there are many things that you don't know, for example, things you don't know, things you don't know, things you don't know, things you don't know, things you don't know, things you don't know. As a woman, only when you are together, there are contacts, men will identify with you, but also feel that their efforts are worthwhile, only on the basis of self-sustainment to combine, you can stand up and talk to him, in order to get from the heart of respect.
Talking about money between lovers doesn't mean putting money first. If love and marriage are taken as the springboard of life, the tragic fate of Hao Hongmei in the writer Lu Yao's novel "Ordinary World" and the tragic fate of Liu Liying in "The Yellow Leaves Falling in the Autumn Wind" are the lessons of the past. Husband and wife talking about feelings is a responsible attitude, only by paying each other, can we be sincere; only material security, can we go further; only by restraining each other, can we not be afraid of difficulties, and properly manage feelings.
Emotion is an emotion, so beautiful promises, are unreliable, this is human nature, is an objective law, so husband and wife together must talk about money; as a woman, the background of the character is an advantage, but also a disadvantage, it depends on whether you are standing or lying down to talk with men, lying to ask for will not be respected, only standing has a respect scene; only talking about money is the attitude of emotional responsibility, mutual. Signing a contract makes the relationship last longer.
"Tiandao" is adapted from Doudou's novel "Distant Savior", the TV series has a great degree of restoration, the only thing worth criticizing is that there are too many deletions, in which Ding Yuanying's criticism of traditional culture, for example, with Han Chufeng's "Cooking Wine on Heroes" and "Wutai Mountain on the Tao" in the in-depth discussion has been deleted. For example, after Rui Xiaodan was disfigured, he committed suicide and was not worshipped as a martyr in the end, but in the TV series, Rui Xiaodan lost too much blood and died, and was posthumously honored as a martyr.
If you want to understand the play "Heavenly Way" more deeply, reading the novel "Distant Savior" is a good choice. If you watch "The Distant Savior" is not addictive, you can think about reading Doudou's other two novels, "Betrayal" and "Sky Red Dust", which are excellent works.
Men and women, at any age, in any role, for learning, for business, for politics, for parents, can learn from them the "wisdom of the world" they need.
After reading ten thousand books in the world, it is better to read Doudou's "Distant Savior" trilogy.
Doudou's work, which carries philosophical speculation, is invaluable in thinking about the ultimate problem. The author expresses a lot of words through the mouth of the characters, which is very powerful. This is a popular novel, there is no too difficult words, but the true taste of it is still often not one of the two, I took a look at the well edge, but saw my own vulgarity and shallowness. "The Way of Heaven" and "Distant Savior" have changed or inspired you, and I hope you can share your feelings. Perhaps the revelation you leave behind is the key to the inspiration of other people's thoughts!
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