No one will be able to maintain the same mood after being rejected. When we make a request, our hearts will be accompanied by expectations, and this expectation comes from the hope that the other party can agree to their requests.
After being rejected, there is a gap between the ideal and our own expectations, and we will be lost in our hearts, and the loss will be accompanied by wild thoughts and bad guesses.
It's just that things have two sides, and sometimes bad features may produce good results in another scenario.
In the relationship between the sexes, the three "rejections" of men are the performance of deep love for you, don't misunderstand.
About both sexes: Refuse to have an intimate relationship with you too quickly
Rui Xiaodan in the TV series "Heavenly Dao" fell in love with Ding Yuanying at first sight, she was obsessed with his wisdom, composure and stability, and Rui Xiaodan's beauty and elegance also made Ding Yuanying's soul haunt.
Rui Xiaodan dares to love and dare to hate, and her way of expressing her love is also very simple, that is, to give herself to the other party.
In front of him was the beautiful body of a beautiful woman, such a temptation was placed in front of him, and Ding Yuanyingsheng suppressed his desire with reason.
He knew that he could not give Rui Xiaodan a stable life at present, although he liked it, but he could not only care about his own greed for a moment because he liked it.
This is a man's willpower, but also Ding Yuanying's love for Rui Xiaodan.
Marx said: "It seems to me that true love is manifested in the implicit, modest and even shy attitude of the lover towards his idol, rather than in the casual expression of enthusiasm and premature intimacy." ”
Any bloody love, after fading its passion and freshness, will become a pale piece of paper, colorless, and tasteless.
And men who want to go all the way, their vision is long-term, they will not only see the current gouge, but also see what each other should do, in order to be able to maintain this relationship forever.
The man who loves you has pity in his eyes, and the man who does not love you has only desire in his eyes.
A man who can control his desires will also be restrained and loyal to his feelings, and this is also the love we should have.
How to deal with the problem: Refuse to have a cold war with you after an argument
In fact, from an objective point of view, cold violence is the fastest way to resolve contradictions.
Imagine that after two people quarrel, they need to use their brain power to think about what they have done wrong, and how to coax each other;
It takes physical effort to communicate with each other over and over again, and after paying these costs, you still don't get a good result.
Cold violence is different, do not speak, do not need to spend thoughts, just need to do their own things regardless of their own disregard, do not care about the other party's feelings.
Slowly, the first person who can't stand it will take the initiative to bow his head.
In this way, the soldier who yields without fighting does not need to spend effort to solve the problem, and it is no wonder that so many people like to take cold violence.
However, only those who have experienced cold violence know how terrible it is to be cold violence.
Being ignored and ignored is obviously a very intimate relationship, but all the time there is no longer self-doubt and denial, feeling whether it is really what you have done wrong.
That feeling of nothingness is the most torturous.
And people who really care about each other's feelings are not willing to let the other party experience such torture, and they will refuse to be cold and violent after the quarrel.
Shakespeare said, "The power of love is peace, never regardless of reason, convention, and honor and disgrace, it can make all fear, shock, and pain sweet when suffered." ”
A man who loves you will never let you feel such a loss or loss.
About the way you get along: Reject your deliberate disguise in order to cater
The criterion for evaluating whether a relationship is good or bad depends on whether we allow ourselves to live freely in the process of getting along with others, and whether we do not need to disguise ourselves as another person in front of each other.
In order to get each other's likes, in order to maintain a relationship, many women change themselves according to the preferences of the other half.
In the end, they disguise themselves as men like, but they only lose their happiness.
Because they are pressed and uncomfortable in this relationship.
And how can an uncomfortable relationship be happy?
Therefore, true love will definitely make us feel relaxed, and men will refuse us to disguise ourselves in front of them to be another person.
It's like the TV series "Know It or Not." Gu Tingye in "Know It or Not", he does not want Minglan to be virtuous, dignified, and generous, he hopes that Minglan is arrogant, sloppy, and rolling.
Because this is the real appearance of the other party, there is no need to be deliberate, there is no need to be patient, there is no need to disguise, because of trust and dependence, so it will be unscrupulous.
Zhang Xiaoxian said: "No matter what a woman seems to want, she wants only two things, a lot of love and a lot of security. ”
Being able to show our truest selves in front of a man is the love and security that we can get in love.