Wen | Malt (Author of The Rich Book)
We have been so eager for outside recognition that in the end we know that the world is our own and has nothing to do with others.
Walking in the world, everyone wants someone to understand themselves, but the reality is often heart-wrenching.
Sometimes, no matter how difficult life is, we can all insist, but a misunderstanding of others, a pair of cold eyes, is easy to defeat ourselves.
Luo Xiang, a law professor, once said that misunderstanding is the norm in life, and understanding is the accident of scarcity.
So, never expect someone to understand you.
In the adult world, there is no real empathy
There is a self-media author who has shared such a story.
There was a boy who grew up as an orphan and grew up working in a factory. Because of his timid and cowardly personality, the people in the factory love to bully him.
Once, a co-worker was harassing him, and happened to be seen by a new colleague who helped him break the siege.
Boys are grateful for new colleagues and often take the initiative to communicate with new colleagues. The new colleague also arrived at the factory for the first time, and the two soon became friends.
Later, the boy was secretly baddened by the workers, which led to a mistake in the work and was scolded by the leader.
The boy felt very wronged, his mood was very low, he asked his new colleagues to drink together, and told his many years of sadness in the room between pushing cups and changing cups.
He lost his parents since he was a child, was often bullied, lived a life of fear all day, and never dared to resist when he was wronged.
The boy thought that now that he finally had a true friend, his suffering could be sympathized with and comforted by this friend.
A few days later, he happened to pass by and heard a new colleague say to another co-worker:
"When I first came, I didn't know anyone, so I became friends with him, and later I learned that it was no wonder that he was so instigated, it turned out to be an orphan."
After saying that, he and his co-workers laughed loudly.
Lu Xun once said: "The sorrows and joys of human beings are not the same. ”
What you experience is painful may be a small thing in the eyes of others.
Fu Seoul once told such a story in "Strange Story".
Once she was in a bad mood and wanted to talk to someone, so she sent a message to a female friend: I have a breakdown, what should I do?
The other party replied: sleep more, eat less;
She sent a message to Li Tian, and as a result, Li Shi took this as a joke she made and replied: Hahahaha;
Later, she wanted to talk to her husband, Lao Liu, but Lao Liu had already gone to sleep.
There is a saying in "The Cold Wind Blows": "The snow that falls in a person's life, we can't see it all." Everyone spends the winter alone in their own lives. ”
Don't expect everyone to be as happy as you when you're happy, and when you're sad, others are sad with you.
Don't expect someone to put yourself in your shoes and understand you, there is no real empathy in this world, and the joys and sorrows of adults can only be borne by yourself.
People who can understand themselves can meet but cannot be sought
In life, most of the troubles come from others not understanding themselves.
In the depths of everyone's heart, the flame of longing for understanding has never been extinguished.
There is a classic line in "A Liter of Tears": "I am not the only one who is suffering, I cannot be understood, I cannot understand others, both are very pitiful." ”
Musician Park Shu has always been an outlier in the music world, and he has a low-key and introverted personality.
He couldn't talk, and he didn't even like to talk much.
Some people say that The tree is very tall and regards money as dung.
Some people also said: Park Shu is really a maverick being, he can record the show is not happy and wants to go home to sleep.
Park Shu, who does not play cards according to the norm, often gives his agent Xiao Jian a headache.
Although Park Shu is famous, he is a "freak" of a "song in ten years", and there are too few works, which is not a good thing for the agent.
Xiao Jian was once praised by the circle as the most difficult agent to do, but he was the best agent of Park Shu.
Someone asked Xiao Jian, "You have followed Park Shu for so many years, do you think it is worth it?" ”
Without even thinking about it, he blurted out, "Worth! ”
Because he knows Park Shu the best, understands Park Shu's twisting and maverick.
Park Shu does not value money and fame and fortune, and is not interested in the various faceless itineraries arranged by Xiao Jian.
For two years, in addition to buying cigarettes and walking dogs, Park Shu was not even willing to go out of the building door, and the commercial performances were all pushed.
Xiao Jian could not support himself, and could only sell his second-hand car.
Even so, Xiao Jian still accompanied him for many years and never abandoned.
In his eyes, Park Shu is not as innocent as a person in this world, and sometimes like a naïve child.
We will meet many people in our lifetime, but it is rare to meet someone who really understands you.
Ancients Cloud: Acquaintances all over the world, how many people can know each other? Ten thousand two gold is easy to get, and it is difficult to find a confidant.
Ding Yuanying, a tall man in the TV series "Heavenly Dao", is a mysterious character in the eyes of the people around him.
His assistant Xiao Yawen commented on him: it is a demon, a ghost, or a man.
The small owner of the restaurant thinks that he eats and does not work, so he looks down on him.
Liu Bing saw that he was poor enough to sell records and suspected that he was a liar.
Only han Chufeng, a college classmate, not only deeply understood Ding Yuanying, but also felt sorry for his friend from the bottom of his heart.
In his heart, Nietzsche's words are the best interpretation of Ding Yuanying:
"The more advanced philosopher is alone, not because he wants to be alone, but because he can't find his kind around him."
In the adult world, the three views are different, the experience is different, the cognition is different, and the person who truly understands you can meet but cannot seek.
Van Gogh wrote in his letter to Theo: "There is a fire in everyone's heart, and those who pass by see only smoke." ”
In life, perhaps only you can truly understand yourself.
Because you don't understand me, I don't understand you, it's all normal. Instead of suffering from the pain of not being understood, self-digestion slowly becomes stronger.
As there's a saying:
"It is fortunate to be understood, but it is not necessarily unfortunate not to be understood. A person who places his value entirely on the understanding of others is often worthless. ”
Look down on misunderstandings and move forward lightly
Zhang Liyong was once a famous English chef at Tsinghua University.
Zhang Liyong was not born high, and in order to help his family pay off debts, he worked after dropping out of school in his sophomore year of high school.
Through the introduction of others, he came to Tsinghua University and became a vegetable cutter in the canteen.
At Tsinghua University, Zhang Liyong was deeply touched by the strong learning atmosphere, and he loved to learn, and he was determined to strive to keep up with Tsinghua students.
Zhang Liyong liked English when he was in school, and he also knew the importance of English, in order to learn English well, he formulated a strict study plan.
He got up at four o'clock in the morning to study, and insisted on studying for seven or eight hours a day, sometimes to one or two o'clock in the morning.
Zhang Liyong spends almost all of his time learning English, whether it is a cold winter or a hot summer, his learning of English has never been interrupted.
His former friends laughed at him: "I can't eat enough, what else do I learn English, what can I do?" ”
Colleagues around him ridiculed him: "You are a cook, You speak Chinese unfavorably, and you still want to learn English?" ”
But Zhang Liyong did not pay attention to his heart and studied hard.
Three years later, Zhang Liyong took the TOEFL test, scored 630 points, and then obtained a bachelor's degree in international trade from Peking University.
Years later, those who once laughed at him are still engaged in heavy physical work.
Zhang Liyong completely changed his life and served as an interpreter for the organizing committee of the Beijing Olympic Games.
In life, when you encounter misunderstandings, you don't need to explain too much, because no matter how much explanation you have, in the eyes of others, you may cover up the truth.
Don't let yourself live very tired because you are afraid of being misunderstood, and don't let anger bother you because of misunderstanding.
Some things, whether you like it or not, will happen.
Too concerned about other people's opinions, often only yourself are embarrassed.
There is a saying in the "Collection of Aphorisms": When people encounter misunderstandings, they will rest and resent, and after the harsh winter, they will return to spring.
Misunderstandings are someone else's business, we just need to live our own lives, and time will give the answer.
Mr. Yang Dai said: We have been so eager for the recognition of the outside world, until we finally know that the world is our own and has nothing to do with others.
There is no real empathy in this world, and misunderstanding is the norm in life.
Don't be bothered by other people's misunderstandings, and a smile is a sunny day;
Do not dwell on no one to understand, sad and happy self-crossing relatives and alienation.
On the road of life, you are the protagonist, and others are just the scenery along the way.
For the rest of your life, may your inner mountains and rivers be magnificent, and always believe that the world is worth it.
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