Wen | Wen'er
"The wedding room is decorated, the wedding matters are also ready, the bride says that she will repent of her marriage, she will not marry if she does not marry, she will not see me bathing and rubbing my son's back, what a big deal."
Aunt Zhang's future daughter-in-law called two days before the wedding to tell her that she was going to repent. Aunt Zhang and her son were like thunderbolts on a sunny day, not knowing what had happened. Aunt Zhang asked her son to ask the girl for an explanation, and under the son's repeated questioning, the girl told the truth.
It turned out that a few days ago, the girl came to the house and saw Aunt Zhang bathing her son and rubbing his back. The girl said that it was hard to believe that her boyfriend, who was almost 30 years old, still wanted her mother to bathe and rub her back, and she went back to think about it for a long time, but she still did not dare to marry into such a family.
After Aunt Zhang listened to the reason, she felt very aggrieved: "My own raised son, I gave him a bath, rubbed his back, he is also my son, what is there that I can't believe?" Aunt Zhang felt that the girl was unreasonable.
But I think the girl is too wise, fortunately in time to stop the loss and did not marry, otherwise the future married life is definitely not good.
The eldest mother avoids, and the mother and son who kiss again must also understand the boundaries
When I was a child, mother and son were the closest people in the world, but as my son grew up, as a mother, I had to learn to let go slowly. On the one hand, the eldest mother avoids, the mother and the son are different in gender after all, and the mother learns to let go, which is conducive to the cultivation of the son's gender consciousness and the establishment of a correct gender relationship, which is beneficial to the physical and mental development of the son.
In addition, mother and son should also have a sense of boundaries when they kiss, and it is normal for his mother to bathe and rub his back when he was a child. But after the age of 6, you should let him wash himself, which can not only cultivate the child's self-care ability, but also let the child understand where the boundaries are. The nearly 30-year-old son also wants his mother to bathe and rub his back, the key is that the mother has also done it, indicating that the mother and son have no boundaries at all, and the son has no ability to take care of himself. Mother has no boundaries, and she will definitely mix the life of the little two in the future, and the family conflicts will continue in the future.
Children avoid their mothers, women avoid their fathers, and only by keeping to their own boundaries can children grow up truly healthy.
The pattern of mother and child getting along shows that there is a problem with the family
In the eyes of most people, it is not normal for mother and son to get along like this, and this mother herself still feels very wronged. It shows that she is used to getting along with her son in this way, and is used to taking care of his son's big and small affairs.
It can be seen that this mother should not get much attention and emotional comfort from her partner. So, the mentality of his old mother and the mentality of a weak woman were fused together, and they were all pinned on another male son. This complex emotion of the mother will not only lead to the misalignment of the family relationship over time, but also marginalize the partner in the family, and the parent-child relationship is higher than the husband and wife relationship. At the same time, it will also form a paranoid love and a strong desire to control the son, which will make the son a giant baby mother.
The most important thing is that such a mother is difficult to bear, and the son is closer to another woman than to himself. Therefore, when the son marries the daughter-in-law, when the mother is not willing to let go, when the son and daughter-in-law have a good relationship, they will be jealous and try to sabotage it. They will also interfere in the affairs of their sons and daughters-in-law in various ways, so that their sons can stand with themselves and bully their daughters-in-law, thinking that their daughters-in-law are a third party who destroys the feelings of their mother and son. If a girl marries into such a family, it is really a fire pit.
【Topic Discussion: Do you have such a mother around you?】 】
Senior nursery teacher, psychological counselor, author of original parenting comic articles, welcome to pay attention to [Little Fart Baby], you want to know about family education, mental health, child development, fashion education, you can find the answer here!