Author ┃ Fu Rong Read aloud ┃ Purple Qiulan
Guidance ┃ Guo Xinai Editor ┃ 丄学号
It's the Spring Festival again, and the happiest thing for children is, of course, to collect the old money.
However, after the old money is in the hands of the child, the parents' slight carelessness will cause a parent-child war.
This is not the headline hot search on "who should care about the pressure on the old money", and there is a heated discussion, and various statements are different.
Some families will discuss with their children how to deal with this pressure money, and some families will feel that their parents took the money in exchange, so they take the act of confiscation.
Relevant laws: Giving children old age money is a kind of gift, and the ownership of old age money naturally belongs to the child.
However, the relevant laws also stipulate that the guardian shall perform the guardianship duties in accordance with the principle of the most favorable to the ward, and shall not dispose of the ward's property at will, and shall also respect the true wishes of the ward according to the age and intellectual status of the ward, so the parents can keep the money for the child.
Since it is kept, parents cannot use and punish it casually.
But if it is purely for the benefit of the child, such as buying commercial insurance for the child and participating in learning training, it is possible to use the child's pressure money.
In the final analysis, pressing the old money is a blessing from the elders to the children, and if it ends up making the parent-child relationship tense, it is really not worth it.
One
The most tragic thing is that
Pressing old money has become a bomb of parent-child relationships
Pressing the old money was originally a kindness of the elders to the children, but in some families it has become a bomb between parents and children.
No, Nanyang Daily reported that at 10:00 p.m. on the third night of the Chinese New Year, the police of the Hongniwan Police Station found a 6-year-old boy crying while walking on the side of the road.
In the cold night, the boy's face, ears, and hands were red, and his whole body was trembling.
The police took him to the police station and calmed his emotions before he explained to the police: "My parents want to take away my old age money, and if I don't give it, they beat me up." I ran out while they were eating, and I never wanted to go back. ”
Parents take a violent solution with their children in order to suppress the old money, which not only hurts the child's body but also hurts the child's heart.
A mother in Shandong posted a video of confiscating the child's money on the Internet, and the three children lined up to hand it in, and the expression on each child's face was greatly written: "Reluctant." ”
Seeing the helplessness and blank eyes of the children, I know how angry I am at the confiscation of the old money by the parents.
The surging news once reported that a child, Xiao Su, sued his father for money.
After Xiao Su's parents divorced, Xiao Su lived with her mother, and her father took out xiao Su's pressed money and interest of 3045 yuan deposited in the bank without Xiao Su's consent.
Xiao Su believes that his father has violated his legitimate rights and interests, so he files a lawsuit with the court to apply for the return of the principal and interest.
The court held that Xiao Su's request was reasonable and legitimate, and upheld it.
I believe that Xiao Su and his father's parent-child relationship have become more distant for this reason.
Yin Jianli, a famous education scholar, said: "In the management of pressing the old money, any perfect design, if it causes the child to be unhappy, even if he reluctantly agrees, it is meaningless." ”
The child is sensitive and intelligent, the parents confiscate his old money, he will only feel that the parents are malicious, and thus planted the seeds of rebellion, there is no slight benefit to cultivating the child's healthy view of money, but also cast a shadow on the parent-child relationship.
Two
Wise parents will make money
Become the glue of the parent-child relationship
In the book "The Game of Pressing The Year's Money", the daughter of the author Chen Jingqing received a sum of money from the elders during the Spring Festival.
At this time, the couple thought that their daughter had learned some basic concepts of money, and they told her the total amount of money he had received since he was born.
While calculating what money belonged to her, the daughter had a skirmish with her mother.
The mother believes that the money received should be deducted from what they sent out, and the rest is the daughter's.
The daughter does not do it, thinking that what she receives is hers, as for who the parents give the old age money to, and how much to give, that is the parents' business.
The daughter even thinks that the money that her parents gave to her cousin and cousin should also have her share.
The couple eventually agreed with their daughter for the following reasons:
This is also to help her form an independent personality
From an adult's point of view, giving money is a kind of human exchange, but just as we raise a child is our responsibility and obligation, we should not ask her to return the child support to us.
We press the age of other people's children, not because we have children who can collect each other's old age money, but because of the needs of reason, customs and habits.
Seeing the situation, the daughter jumped up happily and hugged her parents and kissed them.
In this process, the daughter received the respect and love of her parents, which added another piece of honey to the parent-child relationship, and the pressure money became the strongest glue.
Smart parents will first expose their children to money knowledge early.
For example, in "Rich Dad Poor Dad", there is a sentence about money education: "If you can't teach your children money knowledge in time in the process of educating your children, then there will be others to replace you in the future." ”
Then it will respect that the child is an independent individual, and give the child the appropriate authority to be the master of his own pressure on the money.
Yin Jianli said in the book "A Good Mother Is Better than a Good Teacher":
Although this money is not the income of the child's labor, it is the income of his identity, and the ownership is approved by the law of exchange of adults, then it belongs to the child, and the right to control should also belong to the child.
If your child wants to save this money, you can help her save it without any worries, which is the same thing as saving money for your child in other ways. If the child wants to spend, you should also allow her to dispose of it.
Therefore, smart parents never maintain opposition to their children in terms of pressing old age money, but let old age money become the glue of parent-child relationship.
Three
Pressing old money is to raise children
A good time for financial thinking
The child's receipt of the old money is not the end of the matter as soon as it is put in the pocket, and parents must not miss the opportunity to guide the child's financial thinking.
01
Let the child understand
The meaning and source of the money
Pressing old money is also called "pressing money".
Legend has it that there is a little demon, the name "Qi" he and Nian are good friends, they will come out at the end of the year to make trouble, Qi likes to bully children the most, always at night to scare children.
Later, the adults found that they were particularly afraid of the light, so they put the coin under the child's pillow, and whenever they went to scare the child, they would be scared away by the light reflected by the coin.
Slowly, there is a "pressure money", it is said that you can suppress the evil spirit, and the younger generation can get the pressure money, and they can spend the first year in peace and security. With the passage of time, it becomes "pressing the old money".
Pressing the old money is the meaning of the elders' hope that the younger generations will be safe and smooth.
At this time, we adults can also tell our children that the money given by the elders is what they have bought through hard work.
Only by understanding, there is understanding, when the child understands the meaning and source of the money, he can understand the love of the elders, and this love will flow into the child's heart and make the child feel warm.
02
Accompany your child to properly handle the money
Warren Buffett said in a 2013 interview: "My father is my biggest source of inspiration, I learned from him from a young age to develop the right habits as early as possible, saving is an important lesson he taught me. ”
Asked what he thinks is the biggest mistake parents make when they teach their children to manage their finances, he said: "Many parents don't start talking about money management until their children are teenagers, when they could have started talking about money management when their children were in kindergarten." ”
A study from the University of Cambridge found that children are able to understand the basic concepts of money by the age of 3-4, and by the age of 7, the basic concepts related to future financial behavior will be formed.
Therefore, don't think that the child is small and does not understand the matter of money.
The annual pressure of money is a good time to cultivate children's financial and business thinking.
When a child is under 7 years old, we can guide the child to save, provide him with a piggy bank, or take him to the bank to open an account, so that he can witness the whereabouts of the money and feel the respect of his parents.
There are also many parents who guide their children to invest in the fund, harvest compound interest, and when the children grow up, they decide to suppress the cost of the money.
There are also parents and children to discuss the pressure of the old money into three parts, 20% to treat themselves, 50% to the bank, 30% to do public welfare.
In the above three ways, parents are on the basis of respecting the child, and together with the child to decide the way the child presses the old money, which will not only be of much benefit to the parent-child relationship, but also increase the child's financial business thinking, laying a solid foundation for the child's future consumption concept and money concept.
"The Pattern of Parents" said: "Parents cannot replace the growth of children, but they can be a bridge for children, holding children's hands slowly and confidently to the other side of the adult world." ”
Therefore, "teach people to fish, it is better to teach people to fish", instead of tangling with children in order to press the old money, it is better to accompany him to find appropriate methods to achieve the rational use of the old money and let the child experience the benefits brought by the pressure money.
03
By the way, cultivate children's love
Elders give their children money, and a large part of the factor is that there is an emotional factor in it.
Elders have love for their children, and they can also guide their children to learn to love others.
As the old saying goes, "He who loves others loves him." ”
A person who truly knows how to love and is willing to give love will also gain the love of others.
As the saying goes, "Give someone a rose, and your hand will have a lingering fragrance." ”
And every child has the instinct to give love, and according to child psychologists, love and compassion are the nature of children.
Wen Fang, director of the Beijing Adolescent Psychological Counseling Center, said:
"Pressing the old money itself is an educational opportunity, and parents should guide their children to learn to manage their finances and know how to repay favors."
In terms of pressing the old money, as long as the parents can gently tap and guide the children to make a handicraft for the elders or make a dish that they are good at, it is a way to pass on love.
A few days ago, an 8-year-old boy in Shandong used a thousand yuan to buy a gold ring for his mother.
The mother said: The child's previous pressure money was saved by them, this year the child said that he wanted to keep it for himself, and began to think that he would buy toys, but he did not expect that the child bought her a ring, and the child's intention, she was very moved.
Yes, such a loving son, anyone will touch the heartstrings.
Four
Manage the money well
The "Survey Report on The Pressure of Chinese Children's Age-Old Money" surveyed 28 provinces, municipalities and autonomous regions and found that:
Regardless of age group, half of parents choose to co-manage with their children.
Nearly 90% of parents will not directly confiscate their children's money, but will consult with their children or inform their children of the specific purpose of the money.
Do you buy study aids or what you want?
Is it a depository bank, or buying a fund?
Every family has the outcome of each family's discussions.
Parents do not take tough confiscation of children's money.
Instead, if you discuss with your child, you will let your child feel the respect of his parents and learn the correct view of money and money.
What is also valuable is that the pressure of the old money contains emotional value in it, which will also make the child feel the strong love of his relatives, and the child who has harvested the love will become a person who transmits love in the future.
May parents accompany their children to happily discuss the whereabouts of the old money and harvest a good parent-child relationship in this cold Spring Festival.
Author: Fu Rong, willing to accompany you in parenting with warm words and grow up with your children.
Reader┃ Purple Qiulan
Purple Qiulan, a stay-at-home mother, usually likes to read and write. I hope to exchange and learn with you in Shanbo Education.
Shanbo Education Guide ┃ Guo Xinai
Guo Xinai, principal of a primary school in Shenzhen, a first-class teacher, a family education instructor, an advanced educator in Bao'an District, served as the director of the Moral Education Office, engaged in education for 34 years, loves calligraphy and literary creation, and his works have repeatedly won awards in various calligraphy and literature competitions at all levels, focusing on the comprehensive quality education of youth growth, psychological education and parent-child parenting.