Every year around the Spring Festival, the topic of pressing the old money is the most discussed.
This year, a little girl in Luoyang has made us pay attention to another problem related to the pressure of old age money, although most parents will not make similar mistakes, but also pointed out a problem in life that requires special attention.
Suffering from unevenness without widowhood leads to family farce
When the people of the whole country were celebrating, a girl went to the police station to report the case and asked the police uncle to "change her parents".
The girl who called the police is 12 years old and has a 4-year-old sister in the family.
It turned out that after the girl finished paying respects to her parents, she found that her parents gave her sister more red envelopes than herself, and she felt that her parents were too eccentric, and she chose to call the police in her heart.
"I have less money than my sister, can you change my parents?" The police heard this sentence both funny and distressed, and immediately contacted the parents.
The girl's parents rushed to the police station after receiving the call, and finally under the persuasion and education of the police, the family happily went home for the New Year.
Multi-child families want a bowl of water duanping This sentence is said everywhere, do not ignore the boss because of the birth of two children and three children, and the child has a gap, to pay attention to the child's heart to give the correct guidance and education, has also become the consensus of most parents, but whether it can be done is another matter.
Children do not focus on money, but on the love behind them
I believe that there should be many parents here who have been "recruited", and in real life, there are indeed cases of different years of money for two children.
For example, many parents think that the boss should understand things, the second is still young, naturally it should hurt, this situation is especially common in the elderly.
In fact, the key to the problem is not at all the amount of money, children just want to treat equally, even if the pressure of the age of less money to be the same, which means that everyone gets the same love.
The difference in pressing the old money is a manifestation of the daily eccentricity of parents, and we must see the fundamental problem.
Eccentricity hurts all children
"Heavy on small and light on big", "son over woman", "heavy on intelligence, light on mediocrity"... These three eccentric patterns are passed down from generation to generation, and when parents are affected by eccentric behavior on their children, negative effects are inevitable.
Why is eccentricity the stupidest way to educate? Because children, whether neglected or favored, will eventually become victims.
Children who are valued are inevitably "pampered and proud", like to be self-centered in everything, have no sense of responsibility and no opinion, and the "mother treasure man" and "nibbling on the old family" that everyone shouts and beats are mostly the result of the eccentric treatment of parents.
Children who are ignored understand better, and it is difficult for them to grow in a good direction.
Due to long-term unfair treatment, the mood of dissatisfaction and resistance is higher, and it will be more rebellious than other children, although forced to be more sensible than peers, but not being valued in the family atmosphere can easily lead to children not being social and having inferiority complex.
Psychology believes that children who are hurt by eccentricity in the original family are prone to form two extremes of violence and cowardice.
Parental eccentricity is hard to avoid, and there is no absolute fairness in the world
Of course, we also have to admit that no matter how rational the parents can not avoid eccentricity, there will always be some preference.
For example, it is reasonable to care more about smaller children, involuntarily like children with better grades, or the eccentricity of a child who is sick for a short period of time cannot be controlled and avoided, many times parents cannot feel their own eccentricity, but the child's experience is very real.
Therefore, instead of acknowledging that parents are biased and hurting their children's hearts, parents should admit it when the child points out their eccentric behavior and discuss solutions with their children.
If parents can be aware of their eccentricity, then they must consciously discover the advantages of the neglected child, improve their eccentricity, at least the eccentricity is not obvious, so that the child feels better.
For children, unsentimental eccentricity can be ignored. Absolute fairness cannot exist, but it will make children deliberately compare, parents can only continuously improve the balance point, it is difficult to make every child satisfied.
Attention and love should be full, and material consistency should be achieved as much as possible
"Game Power" talks about the love of parents for children is like water in a cup, when the water is full of children feel full of love, when the water in the cup is less or empty, the child will be uneasy.
Families with two or more children are more concerned about the water in their cups, worried that siblings will share their share at any time.
Therefore, for families with many children, parents do not need to double their pressure and be anxious for better quality materials, it is important to pay attention to the emotions of each child, give a positive response in time, so that they can feel that their cup is full of water all the time.
There may be children and daughters in the family, and they cannot be fair due to inconsistent material needs; it may also be that the family conditions are limited, and the small one can only wear the old clothes of the older children, but at least in the new year's red envelopes, pressing the old money and new clothes, which have a sense of ceremony, give them the same treatment.
What cause is planted will bear any fruit, the parent's eccentricity is like an unhealthy seed, which grows deformed in the heart of every child, and the fruit may be unsupported and lonely.
Because the favored child has no sense of responsibility, the neglected child does not receive love and does not give love.
Eccentricity is the most stupid way of education, but also a time bomb for a harmonious family, and parents who are really clear understand that respect for equality is the good medicine for fatherly kindness and filial piety and brotherly harmony.
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