Listen to parenting: Sun Lei in "Perfect Partner" said: Child, how you treat others, others will treat you ┃ Fu Rong

Author┃ Fu Rong Read aloud ┃ Xiao Mo

Guidance ┃ Guo Xinai Editor ┃ 丄学号

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In the TV series "Perfect Partner", when Jump jumping and his father Sun Lei were grilling at Jingjing's house, the football kicked by the neighbor boy hit the barbecue grill, and the sparks in the barbecue grill splashed on Jingjing's mother's arm, and her arm was instantly burned.

Jumping asked the neighbor boy to apologize to his aunt, but he said arbitrarily: "Why should I apologize, I didn't see my football burn her." ”

Sun Lei came over and asked him to apologize, but he still refused, and said arrogantly: "Otherwise, what happens, I will kick what, my parents don't care about me, which one of you, here is the finger- ”

Sun Lei kicked the ball away from him angrily, and he shouted "Ma, Ma."

His mother rushed to hear the noise, listened to Sun Lei say the reason, and confirmed to her son that there was indeed such a thing, so she forced him to apologize.

Then, Sun Lei also apologized to the boy, jumped and returned the football to the boy, and told him: "Child, what you do to others, others will treat you." ”

The child's rudeness will also be rude to others, the child knows how to treat others politely, and others will also treat him politely.

However, children's understanding of these things from an early age is not in place, and they need the timely guidance of our parents.

There is a good saying: Parents are the first schools for children to understand the world and acquire knowledge.

Therefore, parents need to help their children establish these cognitions in time, so that children can correctly communicate with others and be a good child who understands the rules and understands things.

One

Child: You are angry with others

Others will get angry with you

In the cartoon "Big Head Son Little Head Daddy", the big head son is angry with Xiao Ming on the sofa with a somber face, no matter how his father coaxes him, he can't be happy.

Mom thought about it, took a mirror, and said to him, "If you are angry with the mirror, the mirror will be angry with you; if you smile at the mirror, the mirror will smile at you." ”

The big head son tried it curiously, and it did.

Then, he suddenly said to his parents, "I understand, I am not angry, but I want to tell him that he has really wronged me, not that I took his eraser." ”

Mom and Dad gave him a thumbs up for his enlightenment.

As soon as the words fell, Xiaoming knocked on the door of the son's house, he ran over to open the door, Xiaoming immediately apologized to him: "I'm sorry, Big Head, I was careless myself, I left the eraser at home, I shouldn't have wronged you." ”

The eldest son also apologized: "I am also wrong, I should not say 'break off relations with you'."

The two children were reconciled again.

The Buddha said: Others are your own best mirror, you smile at yourself in the mirror, the mirror will smile at you, you cry at yourself in the mirror, the mirror will cry at you, so how you treat others, others will treat you.

Therefore, when the child encounters some unhappy things or setbacks, parents can refer to the practice of the mother of the big head son to help the child solve the inner confusion.

Two

Child: You learn to help others

Others will help you too

To help others is to help oneself.

Learning to help others not only improves yourself, but also reaps the help of others.

Seeing a video, a junior high school girl in Zhengzhou, Henan Province, picked up a student card, immediately walked to the female driver who was driving, and said: "Auntie, pick up a card and give it to you." ”

The female driver responded: "Good, good, you put it here, thank you." ”

Then, the female driver suddenly asked her: "Do you know a little girl named Zhang Yufei?" ”

The girl said, "I am." ”

The female driver was surprised: "You are, we picked up a school uniform some time ago, exactly the same as yours, you go to the dispatch room to have a look." ”

Sure enough, the school uniform had the girl's name written on it.

As netizens commented: Helping others is also helping yourself.

Your helping behavior, others will see in the eyes, remember in the heart, and when you have the opportunity, others will also give back to you.

Give someone a rose, leave a lingering fragrance in your hand! Houde carrier... Wait, these words are used to praise helping others.

Ni Ping, a well-known Chinese TV host, once returned to her alma mater in 2002 and talked about her growth, especially mentioning the influence of her grandmother on her.

She said passionately: "Grandma influenced me with her most simple and kind qualities. Now that I've grown up, I know what a valuable asset this is. My grandmother, who did not have much culture, transformed many of my weaknesses, and over the years, I have always remembered the words of my grandmother, 'To help others is to help yourself.' ”

Therefore, an indispensable part of family education is to cultivate and guide children to become a helpful person through practical actions.

Psychologist Dr. Zhang Yijun emphasized: "Teaching a child to help others will make him happier." ”

A great deal of research has linked altruism to happiness, and being kind to others makes children happier, and happiness makes them friendlier.

Yes, when the child helps others, others receive kindness, and will also pass the kindness back to the child, the child will naturally receive happiness.

Three

How parents train their children to treat others correctly

01

Develop the habit of sharing

Sharing plays a decisive role in the integration of a person and society.

William. Ralph. Inchi said: Sharing is a magical thing, it makes happiness bigger, it makes sadness less.

Happiness is needed in life, and happiness needs to be shared.

However, now that most of them are only children, they are taken care of by their parents and elders more carefully, and if there are any good things, they will often be self-centered, like to be exclusive, and do not like to share with others.

So, let's look at what psychologists are saying about raising children.

Professor Li Meijin, an expert in juvenile delinquency psychology, once said: Sharing is a very important part of children's personality, and I think this is a problem that can be solved at the dinner table at home.

The dining table is a social structure, the elders do not move chopsticks, the small can not move chopsticks.

In Zhejiang, these rules of mine are learned from my mother, our family rules are that parents do not move chopsticks, children can not move chopsticks, children if they finish eating, they must say to their parents, 'I finish eating, you eat slowly.' ”

Then, who is not in the family, be sure to leave him a peeled clean meal to put away, which means that the more he is not at home, the more delicious things he has to leave, this is a family.

So, when a child who grows up with such a family culture, what will happen to him when he lives in a university dormitory, and the person who is not there just thinks, is everyone grateful?

This kind of child must have a popularity, and when he has difficulties, someone must help him.

Although it is impossible to think that others who help will help you, there will be people who will know how to repay you.

Alfred Adler mentions in the psychology of children's education:

If parents don't let their children learn how to get along with other people, they will feel lonely when they get to school. Others will find it strange and difficult for them to come close to, and over time this vicious circle will become more and more stable. The normal development of children is hindered, and they gradually become problem children.

Therefore, parents should pay attention to cultivating the habit of sharing with others, so that children can gradually learn "how to share and communicate with others" and accept that they are no longer the center of everyone.

02

Nurture children to care for others

Love is the embodiment of a person's personality, and educating people is to give him a heart that will love.

I have seen a mother in "Raising a Boy" cultivate her son's love in this way.

Once, the child's grandmother had a car accident and injured her leg, he took his son to see the grandmother, on the way to the hospital, the mother said to the son: "Do you think it hurts when you are sick?" The son nodded.

Mom went on to say, "Grandma hurts 100 times more now than she did when you were sick." Therefore, you must comfort Grandma and be considerate of Grandma, understand? "The son understood.

When she saw Grandma, she ran over and asked if it hurt, and Grandma said it hurt. He hugged grandma and said, "Grandma is not afraid, and soon she will not hurt." ”

Grandma was smiling.

The mother let the child experience the pain of others according to the degree of pain, and then provide spiritual help to others, so that the child learned how to express love to others.

I believe that this child will know how to love and care for others in the future life, and he can also harvest the love from others.

Love makes people feel warm, makes people feel bright, and gives people the strength to fight against the difficulties they face.

A loving person will bring warmth and strength to people wherever he goes. At the same time, she will also receive the love of others.

03

Teach children to respect others

Mencius said, "He who loves others will always love him; he who respects others will always respect him." ”

Only when a person knows how to respect others can he win the respect of others.

To cultivate children to respect others, first of all, parents should respect their children, learn to communicate with children equally, and understand their ideas from the perspective of children.

Only children who have been respected by their parents can know how to respect others.

In daily life, teach children to say hello when they see people they know, and ask others to help with polite language.

It is also necessary to encourage children to learn the advantages of others, and when they see the shortcomings of others, they should not use them as a joke, and understand that "gold has no feet, and no one is perfect." " truth.

Four

Care for others and respect others

The Gospel of Matthew says, "You want others to treat you as you want." ”

Therefore, if you want your child to be loved and respected by others, parents should also train their children to learn to share with others, care for others, and respect others.

Author: Fu Rong, likes to study children's psychology, constantly improves herself on the road of parenting, and looks forward to growing up with her children.

Reader┃ Xiao Mo

Xiao Mo, a junior high school teacher, is a spiritual life, understanding the soul of words with the heart, reading aloud to match the heart of the words, and using sound to convey the love and kindness in the words.

Shanbo Education Guide ┃ Guo Xinai

Guo Xinai, principal of a primary school in Shenzhen, a first-class teacher, a family education instructor, an advanced educator in Bao'an District, served as the director of the Moral Education Office, engaged in education for 34 years, loves calligraphy and literary creation, and his works have repeatedly won awards in various calligraphy and literature competitions at all levels, focusing on the comprehensive quality education of youth growth, psychological education and parent-child parenting.