Wen | Zhang Ping
The illustrations | from the web
Some people say that no matter what you think, you must not make decisions late at night, because it is very likely that during the day, you will find yourself regretting it.
So why should people make decisions when they are sober?
Emotionally, people are emotional animals, and a lot of times the decisions we make may not really be well thought out, just because the emotions came up at the time and then made a decision that you think is right.
But when the emotions calm down, you will find that it seems that the sadness at that time is not so sad, and the points that are difficult to overcome are not so difficult.
At this time, you can calm down and think about how to go in the future, and what you need to do is really good for yourself.
Choice is more important than effort, because the effort only needs you to ignore it, there is no entanglement here, there is no wandering, and there is a high probability that as long as you work hard, there will be a return.
But the choice is not the same, not to mention that the choice is not necessarily right, even if it is really right, it may be that after a while, when your state of mind or the environment you are in has changed, then your choice may also change.
Because the choice itself is turbulent and uncertain, it's really hard to hope to make the right decision at once.
01。
Ye Zi wants to divorce not a day or two, but why has not been divorced, more because of the children. Ye Zi is my lover's girlfriend, 38 years old this year, and her daughter Duoduo is only 6 years old.
She and her husband Li Rui met through a friend's introduction, when she was over 30 years old, she was particularly anxious about marriage, and just happened to have a friend's brother who was still single, so she introduced them to know.
Ye Zi didn't have too many requirements for his future partner, only hoped that he would have a better temper and be able to take care of his family more, and as for his salary, she didn't have too many requirements.
Because she can earn money by herself, Ye Zi at that time was already the head of the department, and she managed a team of more than 30 people by herself, and she was a proper strong woman.
Although Li Rui has worked for many years, he is still just an ordinary staff member, and he has about 8,000 in a month. At that time, when the friends around me heard that Ye Zi was going to marry such a man, they were particularly sorry, but fortunately, Ye Zi himself was giggling and laughing, with a completely unconcerned expression.
In the second year after marriage, Ye Zi gave birth to a child quickly, and quickly returned to the workplace after surviving the lactation period, in her words, delaying for a few more years will definitely not be safe.
In fact, whether it is work or life, Ye Zi is a person who has high requirements for himself. Originally, she and Li Rui had a good life, she was responsible for making money to support the family, and Li Rui was responsible for the logistics of the family.
But after the arrival of her college classmate Li Li, these things changed completely.
02。
After graduating from college, Li Li married a rich husband and has lived a life of having a nanny at home and a driver at home.
In college, Li Li was not as good as Ye Zi, she didn't look as good as her, and her reading grades were not as good as hers, but she became a high school in a marriage.
That day, Li Li came to the café downstairs of her company to wait for her, and saw her wearing a brand name, the confidence and arrogance between her hands and feet, and at that moment Ye Zi suddenly felt inferior.
Between people, I am afraid of comparison, especially those who were not as good as you in the past, and now they are N times better than you, and whoever changes it will be unhappy.
That day, Ye Zi called my lover for two hours, nothing more than complaining about her unwillingness to live now, and my lover took care of her daughter while comforting her: In fact, everyone's life is a mess, and the good you see about her may only be superficial.
After that call, Ye Zi didn't call for a while. The lover thought that this matter might have passed like this, but he did not expect that one late night half a month later, Ye Zi cried and called, saying that this time she had to divorce Li Rui.
At that time I looked at the time in a daze, it was about 3 a.m., and I thought to myself, no matter how determined The Leaf was at the moment, maybe after dawn she would leave and change her mind.
Sure enough, early the next morning, when my lover hurried to Ye Zi's residence and tried to comfort her, she said: I thought about it, or I still didn't leave first, and this marriage did not reach the point where it was inevitable.
Some people may say that women are inherently fickle, so it is normal to say that they want to divorce and say that they can't leave. In fact, are these changes in her really due to fickleness? I don't think so.
Usually when a woman thinks about getting a divorce, she really wants to divorce, but why doesn't she leave in the end? Essentially, it's because she didn't think about the consequences of the divorce at all.
For example, what about children? If you don't take it away, leave it to your ex-husband, if you take it yourself, do you have the ability to bear it alone?
When a woman has a child, it must be more about not herself, but the child, at this time the child is her weakness, and as long as the man threatens with the child, the woman will most likely compromise.
As a woman, soft heart is their common disease, and it is precisely because of soft heart, so women will choose to forgive after men make mistakes again and again, because of soft heart, even if they know that the marriage is not happy, they will still insist, because of soft heart, as long as they think that their children will be wronged, so even if they are in pain, they must forcibly endure.
Mothers are great, and mothers are heart-wrenching. Because after a woman becomes a mother, she basically loses herself. And when a woman's heart is hard, mostly because she has found herself, she begins to become more selfish.
--END--
About author:Zhang Ping, psychological counselor, marriage and family counselor, well-known emotional self-media. I have wine, do you have a story?