Text: Zheng Shaoyuan May my words warm you
-01-
Teacher Tu Lei, an emotional expert, once described marriage like this:
Above love may bring a higher divorce rate. Because feelings are changing, they are unlikely to be stable. If you blindly attach importance to your feelings, it will inevitably bring about changes in marriage. But for individuals, a marriage that pays attention to feelings should be happier and more romantic. But it must be reiterated that relationship-based marriages are fragile and unstable, and may lead to future divorces.
There are many models of marriage, some families are female protagonists, male masters outside, there are also some families where the wife earns money to support the family, Zhang Bo handles housework at home, but no matter what the model, most of them are two families are combined equally, but sometimes when the gap between two people is too large, there will also be what we call high climbing or getting into excess.
Most of the money is to describe the man's family does not pay anything, but after marriage to live in the woman's home, and like this marriage model, most people also default to this marriage is the woman's family to pay more, but at the same time the man's family is not nothing, so in the end this is still a marriage that you love and I want.
However, sometimes some rich sons-in-law, after enjoying the benefits and brilliance brought by their wives and families, will think of their machismo and self-esteem, and even begin to forget the life and status brought to them by their wives and mothers, and instead begin to complain about the grievances and humiliations brought by the other party to themselves, but in fact, this is simply greed.
-02-
I wrote this article because a reader told me about her personal experience, and her marriage was tragic because it was full of calculations from the beginning. She wants to use her own personal experience to tell us that there must not be too many calculations in marriage.
The reader's name is Pan Ying, who is just 30 years old this year, and she just recently divorced Zhang Bo.
The relationship between Pan Ying and her ex-husband Zhang Bo is a mistake. At the beginning, Pan Ying mistakenly thought that Zhang Bo loved herself very much, and she really loved Zhang Bo, so she married Zhang Bo without hesitation.
And the people around her are not optimistic about this marriage, because the two people's family situation is too different, it belongs to the wrong door, and Zhang Bo's contact with Pan Ying is purposeful.
But Pan Ying was already overwhelmed by love at that time, did not listen to the persuasion of others, and resolutely married Zhang Bo to pursue the love she longed for.
And everyone who knows Zhang Bo knows that he is a phoenix man through and through.
-03-
Zhang Bo's hometown is in a remote rural area, his parents are farmers, and there are four brothers and sisters in the family, because there are many children, so the family has always been very poor.
Zhang Bo is the smartest child in the family, and his academic performance has always been very good from childhood to adulthood, becoming the only college student in the village, which is the pride of the whole family.
With the joint efforts of the whole family, Zhang Bo was offered to college. After graduating from college, Zhang Bo chose to stay in the city, he found a job of his choice, and has been working very hard.
Compared with his peers, Zhang Bo has a mature and stable personality, and is very able to endure hardships, his work ability is also more prominent, and he is very self-motivated, so he is highly valued by leaders, and within a few years, he was promoted and raised.
Pan Ying is a rich woman, and Zhang Bozhong is a phoenix man. The plot of the phoenix man stepping on the rich woman to the throne and finally not being able to die well is the usual bridge section in the TV series or story.
Pan Ying's family is well-off, her parents are both university teachers, and she belongs to the Shuxiang Mendi. Pan Ying is an only child, so her parents love her very much, but never spoil her, her parents pay great attention to her growth, so from childhood to adulthood, Pan Ying's personality is very cheerful and strong.
-04-
Since Pan Ying became an adult, her parents have never interfered in her life or interfered with her thoughts. As long as she wanted to do it, her parents never stopped her, just gave advice. Therefore, Pan Ying has developed an independent personality and is very good among her peers.
The reason why Pan Ying will like Zhang Bo is honestly because of her appearance. Pan Ying is a member of the Appearance Association, and her first criterion for finding a boyfriend is to be handsome. And Zhang Bo just met this requirement.
So Pan Ying liked Zhang Bo, plus Zhang Bo was very good at pleasing girls, often coaxing Pan Ying to be very happy, and it wasn't long before she fell.
The two people have been in love for more than a year, to the point of talking about marriage, Zhang Bo used the family's poverty as an excuse, and Pan Ying spat bitterly, saying that he could not afford to buy a house when he got married, nor could he afford to give a bride price. I just hope that when I get married, Pan Ying's family can give him a sum of money and let him keep it for his parents as a pension fee, and the rest can listen to Pan Ying's request.
In fact, this means that he wants to get into the money, Pan Ying went home and discussed with his parents, and his parents agreed. After a few months, the two people got married, Pan Ying's parents bought a wedding house, and the wedding was also handled by them, and gave Zhang Bo's parents 100,000 yuan.
-05-
But the life after marriage is not as beautiful as Pan Ying imagined, because Zhang Bo has never had a heart with Pan Ying, and most of his heart is placed on the original family.
After marriage, Zhang Bo has been secretly supplementing his parents, and most of his salary has been paid to his parents. For his own small family, he hardly pays attention to it, and all the expenses and things in the family are responsible for pan Ying alone.
Because of this incident, Pan Ying said him many times, but he did not listen at all, and Pan Ying became more and more disappointed in him.
At first, his brother wanted to buy a house, Zhang Bo gave him 200,000 yuan, and he did not discuss this matter with Pan Ying at all, even if most of this money was Pan Ying's. When Pan Ying talked to him about this matter, her attitude was still very gentle, and there was no sense of blame.
But Zhang Bo responded unhappily: "We are already husband and wife, what else do you and I have?" At the beginning, the conditions of my family were not good, you also know, you once said that you will help me unconditionally. Why is it that now my brother needs help, and you are reluctant to spend some money? ”
Zhang Bo's attitude disappointed Pan Ying, and after getting married, he was like a changed person. Whatever he wanted, once Pan Ying disagreed, he would lose his temper.
-06-
Within half a year, Zhang Bo brought the family in. After the whole family of six squeezed in, the house was full of people, and there was simply not enough to live.
At the beginning, the house where Pan Ying's parents were married was two bedrooms and a living room, and the husband and wife lived comfortably. But since Zhang Bo's family moved in, the house has become particularly crowded, and the living room has been paved by his family, and there is no place to get down.
Pan Ying quarreled with Zhang Bo for a long time because of this matter, and she kept asking Zhang Bo to throw all his family out. But Zhang Bo did not listen at all, and scolded her for not filial piety and was a selfish woman.
At the end of the argument, Zhang Bo roared angrily: "I am so humiliated, you should support our whole family!" It was this sentence that made Pan Ying completely see the greed and selfishness of the man in front of her. Pan Ying didn't bother to talk to Zhang Boduo again, so she moved to another room, wanting to separate the two people for a while and calm down.
But before the two people's affairs had a result, Pan Ying's in-laws brought someone to make trouble, saying at the door of Pan Ying's house that Zhang Bo's was not easy, saying that Pan Ying's family was deceiving people too much. Looking at Zhang Bo, who stood by and did not say a word, Pan Ying completely understood that this family was a white-eyed wolf who could not feed them, and there was no need to gamble with them with his own belongings.
-07-
Desperate, Pan Ying returned to her mother's house and told her parents everything she had suffered. After hearing this, the parents were furious and immediately said that the marriage must be divorced!
The parents did not intend to let Pan Ying and Zhang Bo get back together, but directly asked their friends around whether there were single men. And asked a lawyer friend to draft a divorce agreement and mail it to Zhang Bo. However, Zhang Bo did not sign, has been pestering, Pan Ying simply did not care about him, just waiting for a period of time to go to the court to file for divorce.
After a few days, Pan Ying's parents really found one, and the man did not mind after hearing about Pan Ying, but launched a fierce pursuit of Pan Ying. And Pan Ying was also completely disappointed in Zhang Bo, facing the man's expectations of herself and her parents, Pan Ying chose to marry a man.
And knowing that Pan Ying was about to remarry, Zhang Bo was dumbfounded on the spot, he did not expect that Pan Ying would really divorce himself, he begged Pan Ying bitterly, but Pan Ying had already made up her mind to divorce him.
Men without a sense of responsibility cannot marry, and women must pay attention to this. Marrying someone is hoping to be responsible for themselves, and if this can't be done, women must not marry such men.
-END-