Text/Dahui
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Many times there are some things that don't happen to you and you will never experience it. When the facts are not in front of you, you always feel that you will be the exception, even if you have heard too many similar things, but you have always believed that it will not happen to you.
When we choose to enter into marriage with a person, we are all full of expectations, looking forward to two people can spend the rest of their lives together and go on happily for a long time. Even though I know that marriage is a siege, I still want to go deep into it. Even though he knows that there will be a lot of friction and contradictions between two people together, he still devotes himself to it regardless of his body. Even though I know that it is not easy for two people to go through a long life, I am still full of hope.
When facing other people's affairs, you can always play a very sober role and say something innocuous. It is their turn, but it is difficult to maintain sanity, it is true that there is really no empathy in this world, the needle is not stuck in their own body, and they never know the pain.
In this world, no one can be alone, others will encounter problems, we are likely to encounter, never feel that you will be an exception, feel that some things can not happen to yourself, advise you really do not hold a fluke mentality.
Before experiencing betrayal, even if you have seen many such things happen in life, you still feel that this thing cannot happen to yourself, and I believe that the character of the other half cannot do betrayal, but sometimes people's desires are often difficult to control, and anyone may make mistakes. And in this matter, there will always be only zero times and countless times, with no exceptions.
In the face of the betrayal of the lover, many people will choose two ways, one choose to forgive, one choose revenge, it seems that the first kind of generosity, in fact, the back is full of grievances, you can not wait for his turn, he will only fight your heart to become softer and stronger. Revenge is generally undoubtedly to kill a thousand enemies and inflict eight hundred self-inflicted wounds, and hurting him will inevitably hurt you at the same time.
In fact, neither of these methods is a good idea, and only this way is the smartest way to deal with it.
First keep yourself calm, according to your actual situation, and clarify where the relationship is going
I know that whoever faces the betrayal in their marriage will feel incredible, feel that their heavens have become dark, and that their whole lives are plunged into darkness.
Even people who are independent and strong enough are difficult to accept the changes in their feelings, and it is difficult to deal with them properly in the face of sudden betrayal.
Gu Jia in "Thirty Only", she is a strong enough woman, in the face of the betrayal of marriage, it still needs a long time to recover, a time of disbelief is inevitable, it will be sad and sad is also certain, but you can indulge, do not sink completely, to keep yourself calm as soon as possible, and then make decisions and countermeasures.
I will not directly persuade everyone to leave decisively, because life is not a fairy tale, there are many actual situations to measure, it is true that there will be many women who have no income at all, the economy and thinking are not independent, there is no way to accept the divorce, if you want to choose to forgive, you must completely learn not to care, do not cry and cry to blame the other party for betraying you, while there is no way to leave, let yourself be too screwed.
If you are clear that you can't forgive each other, then don't get too entangled with rotten people and bad things, don't be soft-hearted, and directly choose to end the relationship, go through what procedure, leave as soon as possible, is the good recipe.
What others say is only a reference, you have to have an opinion and an idea, think clearly about whether the relationship should continue or end, and decide not to regret it, don't look back.
Adjust your state and devote yourself to life as soon as possible
Whichever way you choose, the next thing you should do is to adjust your state and devote yourself to life as soon as possible.
Life still needs to be lived after all, we all need to look forward, not fully immersed in the sadness of the past, no matter what kind of crying you experienced last night, the next day you wake up the sun rises as usual, and the days go on.
Don't take the blame on yourself because others have done something wrong, be full of doubts about yourself, feel that you are not good enough to let him betray the family, and don't eat or drink, and punish yourself with other people's faults.
There are many women who once the marriage has changed, they feel that they can no longer live, become resentful, pass on the things between the parents to the child, tell the child that the other half does not want himself, does not want this home, or let the child as a lobbyist to save each other, the child should not bear such a thing, as a parent to minimize the harm to the child, do your best to keep the child unaffected is the most important.
In fact, the betrayal of the other half, or the divorce of the parents, the impact on the children is not the greatest, and when the parents can not adjust their own state, broken jars and broken, so that it is really hurt the child, but also let their lives become a mess.
Marriage changes, life as usual, as soon as possible to put yourself into life, for yourself, for the people around you, is the best way.
Making yourself live better is the most powerful response to betrayal
In "Red Roses and White Roses", Zhenbao married Yanli but did not love her at all, did not have half a pity for her, but instead disliked her in every way, wandering among the warblers and swallows, so that The hearts of The Yanli were broken.
In the end, because of the boring and lonely life, Yan Li had a relationship with an ugly tailor and betrayed Zhen Bao, although it seemed that he did retaliate against Zhen Bao, but it made his whole person very bad and ugly.
In the face of the betrayal of the other half, if you have done the same thing to get revenge on the other party, successfully influenced by him, and become a person you hate, it will also make you look down on yourself.
Only by simply and neatly staying away from him, ending this torturous relationship, starting into a new life, and making yourself better is the most powerful response to betrayal.
In "Perfect Relationship", Stella's behavior in the face of men's betrayal is textbook, she does not have a soft heart, simply and neatly chooses to end the divorce, collect evidence to maximize the protection of her own interests, quickly put into a new life after divorce, the state of the whole person is not affected by a trace, and find her happiness again.
In this world, the best response to betrayal has always been only one, that is, to make yourself live better and better, not to prove to him, but to make yourself not regret.
In the face of a man's betrayal, it is not a good way to easily choose forgiveness and revenge.
You feel that you have forgiven him and seem to be very selfless and generous, but in his eyes you just can't do without him, and you won't take you seriously at all.
The way of "countering violence with violence" is even more undesirable, it seems to be revenge on him, but in fact, it is only you who can be hurt in the end.
Thinking clearly about your way out, adjusting your state, and making yourself live better and better is the best way.