After the blind date, how to look at each other, have you looked at yourself?

Tips:

The full text is about 2300 words in total and will take you about 3 minutes to read.

Case:

Teacher Ding, how do you see if the other party has a crush on you after a blind date?

I am a girl, colleagues introduced an object, plus WeChat has not been said hello, the reason is just had surgery, can not stare at the phone to see, originally thought it was directly cold.

I didn't expect that after two days, I suddenly said that I would come out to have a meal in two days, and then I had dinner together last night, and I hadn't talked about it before, nor did I understand it, but I felt very handsome, the conditions were also very good, and I was inferior! I am not good at words, plus the first meeting is also very awkward, more shy, but also has been the man to ask what to answer, feel that I was a fool at that time, after eating the man sent me back, after the evening back, I just sent "arrived", said 2 sentences.

There is no contact today, is it cold, I feel that I am a girl, and it is not good to take the initiative. Feeling good about the other person, what should I do?

analyse:

Say something heartfelt.

People who ask this kind of question, most of the boys just don't look at girls, even if the other party looks at girls, girls don't know.

But the girl's behavior in the case will make the boy feel that the girl is not interested in him, then the boy may withdraw.

As a result,

Girls are constantly guessing whether boys like me or not, constantly tangling whether boys see me or not, and boys think that girls don't like him, even if girls like him in their hearts, boys don't know, then the boy's next behavior, the probability is to retreat.

This is the projection of many inner inferiority, vulnerability, fear of injury, passive girls in the feelings, and the boys just cooperated with a play.

As soon as this kind of girl meets the boy she likes, her heart is like a dog;

When they chat with boys they don't like, when they play, they can express themselves generously, naturally, and confidently, so that they make the boys they didn't like like more and more, and they are very attractive when they get along with such boys.

However, when they meet the boy they like, their inner subconscious is thinking that I am begging the boy to like me, and if I reach out to others for something, of course, there is no bottom in my heart, which is also the feeling of unworthiness in their hearts, and they feel that they are not worthy of having the boy I like.

Feel that they do not deserve to have, then they will continue to test each other, the girl will think in her heart,

If you like me, I'll introduce you to someone and you should confess it to me.

Girls, will feel that I take the initiative is very humiliating, the initiative is very cheap, the initiative is not reserved, take these excuses to convince themselves not to take the initiative, because people are girls.

Therefore, the girl will come to a conclusion: it is not that I am not willing to take the initiative, but that the initiative is not good.

If you feel that you don't deserve to have it, of course, you must think that even if I try hard, I can't have it, and it's useless for me to do anything anyway.

If the other person likes me, he will definitely come after me.

If you had to ask, girls assume good luck, do they really find a guy to be with?

Even so, they still don't believe that boys will like them, so they will continue to test boys in love.

This sense of unworthiness will accompany the intimacy throughout, and this is the working mode of their brains.

This kind of "feel that the other party will not like me" unworthy, put in the relationship, will be like the girl in the case, will not give the boy good feedback.

And the boy can't receive good feedback, the boy will also think, this girl doesn't like me, then forget it.

As a result, the boy's retreat behavior in turn confirms the girl's inner feeling of "the boy I like, will not like me".

If the girl in the case does not jump out of this wrong cognitive thinking cycle and does not change her behavior, then the next relationship will be difficult to get better.

The girl's thinking of repeatedly guessing the boy's thoughts is basically a wrong thinking, and the same question will be expressed in "What does it mean that a boy keeps talking to you?" On such a problem, the root cause of these two problems is the same, but the forms of expression are different, next, I will explain how this problem should be solved?

I would like to say that the first step in wanting to talk about love well is,

Don't use linear thinking to guess what the other person really means.

What is linear thinking?

You want to buy a bag, as long as you like, you make your own decision to buy it.

But in a relationship, it's different, and a relationship means at least two people.

If you want to buy a bag, you have to see what your husband thinks, whether he thinks it's expensive, or if he thinks it's a waste of money, or if he thinks the bag isn't good-looking, and so on.

So

Marriage will only appear, even if I spend my own money, I have to look at the other half of the face of the event, unless this marriage, do not want it.

And what does linear thinking have to do with this problem?

The stakes are enormous.

Because the boy keeps talking to you, what does he really mean? There are too many possibilities for this problem, such as he is bored, such as he likes you, such as he wants to date you X and so on.

Then I would like to ask, assuming that the possibilities are these 3, although there are many more possibilities, what does these 3 answers mean to you?

You still don't know what the other person thinks, and you don't know what you're going to do next.

As a result, on the one hand, I hope that he likes himself, and constantly secretly rejoice; on the other hand, I am afraid that he is playing with himself, and he is constantly anxious; so he will tell his girlfriend about this matter, and the girlfriend will tell you categorically that he is playing with you, so you start to cold him.

As a result, not long after, the boy confessed to you at the same time, but also complained to you, but also told you that he found that the two of you are not suitable, you said you! No! after! regret!

So, the standard answer to this question is,

There is no need to guess what the other person really means, we can first list a hypothesis, we assume that this guy likes himself, so he talks to himself every day.

But, remember, this is just a hypothesis.

Next we need to test this hypothesis to see if it is correct.

You go to take the initiative to invite him to meet, yes, is the invitation, after you do the invitation of this action, the other party will give you a feedback, come out or do not come out, all the excuses can be used as not to deal with, unless the other party and you another appointment.

Next, there will only be two outcomes.

You may or may not have met.

If the other party has not met you and you want to fall in love, then you should give him up, the other party does not meet your mate selection requirements.

You see, that's what you're sifting through each other.

And the question asked, what does he really mean?

In fact, he thinks of himself as the filtered party, and subconsciously feels that he is screening himself. If you all play like this, I suggest falling in love with this problem, or give up, it is too difficult for you, hahaha.

But

If the other party meets you next, then he is likely to like you, of course, it can not be completely ruled out that the other party is not playing with you, but has a good interaction.

Then

You can use some more skills to advance the relationship, then the relationship may be in the process of continuous development.

Finally, I would like to remind you that

Even if the relationship starts, you have the right to shout "stop" at any time.

Different cognitive ways of thinking determine different behaviors, and different behaviors determine whether the outcome of a relationship is good or bad.