When parents most headache what is the problem, nine times out of ten is:
Tutor your child with homework!
A while ago, the Internet spread all kinds of "men's singles, women's singles, mixed doubles", and many parents were in pain because of the matter of tutoring their children to write homework.
The reason is that parents are particularly irritated when it comes to tutoring their children with their homework.
Parents will think: "Why don't you understand such a simple thing?" Why is it so simple that you just can't do it well? ”
We will always yell at our children because of such thoughts, and then regret it.
Here's why:
Adults will always set a standard according to their own experience, thinking that my child should be able to meet this standard, if he does not meet, that is, he is not serious, he is not attentive, he is not good at work...
Wrong.
Children are a mirror for parents. All children under the age of 13 have questions that are related to their parents!
Think about it: going to school requires an exam, driving requires a driver's license, and even going to work requires a physical examination, but many people do not learn to get a "mother's job permit" and begin to have babies.
In fact, every child is born a genius, but under the improper education methods of some parents, the more difficult it is to manage.
Slowly becomes:
Soft and hard do not eat, say nothing and listen to anything;
Frequent crying, screaming, tantrums;
Often resist, or even lie;
Timidity, low self-esteem, lack of self-confidence;
Addicted to mobile phone TV, do not like to study, writing homework procrastination;
At ten o'clock, Jun knew such a "goddess mother", she was the parenting consultant of star Guo Tao, and the special observer of the popular variety show "Where Daddy Went" - Fu Liping.
Not only can she easily deal with these problems, but she also has a set of parenting scriptures, and listening to her and her daughter's experience of "fighting wits and courage" may help you.
▲ Fu Liping and his 11-year-old daughter
Anxious mom from tearing up the child's scratch paper
Family consultant to "Where Daddy Goes" star Guo Tao
I have experienced the helplessness of being a parent
Hello everyone, my name is Fu Liping, I have been in the education industry for 17 years, I have served as a "family education observer" for "Where Daddy Goes", and a "family education consultant" for star Guo Tao...
But my favorite and proudest thing is what others call me: Fu Mom.
Because in the eyes of outsiders, the daughter hitomi is the standard "other people's child".
▲Me and star Guo Tao
Although Hitomi was just 11 years old, she had read more than 5,000 books, and she also became a primary teacher, opened online video reading classes, and donated the money she earned to books for public welfare.
▲Hitomi won the "National Top Ten Reading Figures"
Children not only love to read, think and express, but also are good at reading French painting dance guzheng...
In the program and reading activity competitions of CCTV, Hunan Satellite TV and Guangdong Satellite TV, a large wave of "mother fans" was circled.
Even in the face of Zhu Yongxin, Zhou Guoping, Li Bo, Wang Lin and other industry celebrities, they are not afraid of the stage and confidently express their views.
▲Praised by He Jiong as "Little Princess of Guoxue"
▲ In Guangdong Satellite TV's "Teenagers Listen to You" program
▲ In the CCTV "Youth Reading Club" program, he was praised by Professor Li Bo
Every time my friends see me, they can't stop praising:
"Why did your child raise it?" It is worthy of doing education, hitomi is so worry-free and so excellent, growing up must not be wrong! ”
But who would have thought that I had also encountered various parenting challenges:
Concern is chaotic: as soon as I find that the pupil is a little "small", I can't help but correct it, and this is not allowed or allowed;
Seedlings: always set various standards for the pupil, she can't meet the requirements slightly, I am particularly angry;
Teaching other people's children during the day is the Tao, how to face their own daughters but are busy?
It is really a fan of the authorities, and the bystanders are clear.
Watching my children grow up day by day, my heart tightened.
Without further ado, I searched through all the mainstream concepts of parenting at home and abroad and conducted in-depth research: P.E.T Parental Effectiveness, Montessori, Jewish Education...
It wasn't until I came into contact with positive discipline that I suddenly realized that I was guilty of all the common problems of "Chinese-style" parents.
Either reward or intimidate:
In the case of homework, many parents often say, "If you want to finish writing before 8 o'clock, I will let you watch a cartoon for half an hour"; "If you can't finish it, you are not allowed to watch cartoons for a week"
In the short term, this trick will work immediately. But the psychological shadow left on the child is, "I wrote my homework to watch cartoons."
Over time, all the motivation of the child to do things comes from external forces, in order to get rewards or escape intimidation.
Having lost the original "internal drive", how can we still be independent and autonomous?
Intimidation eventually fails: when the child grows up and goes to high school or college, you can no longer stare at him every day, his wings are hardened, and you can't beat him.
Reward becomes arrogance: once your reward will become his growing desire, he wants this today, tomorrow he wants that, you can't satisfy it.
Parents have a heavier responsibility than mountains. The way you raise your child will look for the next 10 or 20 years.
Without breaking or standing, I have rubbed and reorganized these years of educational experience and systematically learned positive discipline.
I and Dr. Jane Nelson, the founder of Positive Discipline
The more I learn, the more I feel that I have learned it right!
When I visited Dr. Jane Nelson, the founder of Positive Discipline, she said: Some educational concepts are not bad, but parents feel understood, but when they really do it, they can't start, "know" but "can't do"...
Positive discipline, on the other hand, is an education method with "solutions".
It not only teaches you ideas, but it also gives you tools, teaches you methods, and teaches you how to do it step by step.
For example, for children who do not write homework, they can use the "daily routine table", like to use the "behavior purpose table" ...
A radish a pit, the right medicine. Precise and efficient, you can use it when you take it.
Sensible, confident and self-disciplined, love to learn
I discipline with the front
Turning "your own child" into "someone else's child"
As long as the mother spends one point of effort, she can save the child three points of strength.
I began to try the bull knife, using the method of positive discipline to take the child, and although hitomi was young, she was already full of confidence, autonomy and self-discipline.
From the first grade, Hitomi can take the initiative to learn, and there is no need to urge to write homework. Extracurricular reading, interest classes, play, sleep, get up, etc., are all well organized and can be adhered to.
This is because I worked with Hitomi to develop a "Daily Routine Table" to stimulate her inner "self-drive" and let her know, "Oh, this is my business."
Now many things have not waited for me to arrange, hitomi herself to do a good job.
▲The pupil belt team won the world DI innovative thinking competition
When participating in the 2018 World DI Innovative Thinking Competition in the United States, Hitomi won the world championship in the science and technology category of the primary school group.
Hitomi, who is the captain, has a strong sense of responsibility and team sense.
This is because I often inspire my child to make her own decisions, making her feel: "I have the right to decide, and I can take responsibility for the results." ”
Over time, the child's "order force" and "sense of responsibility" are formed.
In hitomi's parenting practices, I am even more convinced that positive discipline can bring strength to more parents.
I decided to share the concept of positive discipline with my parents, many of whom actively participated in the lectures I gave.
In the mom growth group I formed, Hitomi has also become a role model sister that many children love very much.
Many mothers often discuss with me the mental method of educating their children, listen to my voice more than a dozen or twenty times, and even cry while listening, regretting that because they did not understand these things before, they were too indebted to their children!
In fact, where there are children who can't teach, only mothers who can't teach.
In your words and deeds, you hide the child's appearance after 10 years, and with a little effort, you can cultivate "your own child" into "someone else's child".
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I will combine my 17 years of education with parent-child reading experience and the introduction of the country's first positive parenting online course into 35 practical parenting tools, and share them with you without reservation.
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Celebrity families use parenting methods
I am Guo Tao's family education consultant in the first season of Hunan Satellite TV's "Where Did Daddy Go", and my daughter won the "Top Ten Reading Figures in China", praised by Professor Li Bo, and was called "Little Princess of Chinese Studies" by the host He Jiong, with unique educational methods.
Children are introverted and not confident, and social situations always suffer losses?
Procrastination and rubbing do not take the initiative, academic performance can not keep up?
Children soft and hard do not eat, repeat n times when the ear wind?
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