As the saying goes, "all things have rules", "no rules do not form a circle", rules are an indispensable part of social life, and the cultivation of children's rule awareness is a necessary process to promote the development of children's subjectivity and socialization.
However, in life, children"set rules and turn their heads and do not recognize" to "bargain on rules", which often gives parents headaches. Like what:
The child always plays a trick, and the game time is up to him, but he regrets it;
Agreed to watch one episode of cartoons every day, and after watching it every time, the baby was clamoring to watch another episode;
Mom, if I finish my homework, I'll watch two episodes of cartoons, okay?
Tell the child to buy a toy only once a month, but the child sees the toy he wants in the mall and cries and wants to buy it;
……
In this regard, parents often wrestle with their children and threaten to punish them in turn: if you don't pack up the toys again, I will confiscate them; if you don't put down your mobile phone, you won't play next time; sometimes you can only compromise in order to calm the child's crying, and finally the rules become decorations. In this way, children bargain and parents are physically and mentally exhausted.
Based on this, the next few public account articles, Xiaobian will systematically share with you, the importance of establishing rules in early childhood, why do you obviously make rules, and the child turns his head and does not recognize? What are the misunderstandings that are easy to fall into in the process of cultivating children's awareness of rules? How to establish rules that children are more willing to follow? Hope to help you understand how to establish rules. Today, I would like to share with you the importance of establishing rules for children from an early age and when will they begin to develop?
1. Why establish rules for children from an early age?
In the book "Courage to Discipline" there is this passage:
"If there is a railing on the edge of the cliff, then people dare to look down against the railing, because they are not afraid to fall; if there is no railing, everyone will stop far from the cliff, let alone stand on the edge of the cliff and look down."
The railing is actually the rule, and the child who knows the rules will have a sense of security and dare to explore boldly and freely within the rules; on the contrary, the child without the rules is insecure, some are trembling and dare not explore, and some violate the rules of indifference to challenge, because he does not know where the scale of safety is.
A kindergarten teacher once shared an incident in which there was a particularly mischievous child in her class, who often did not follow discipline and challenged the authority of the teacher, which made her feel particularly headache.
But once, when the child randomly put the toys and refused to put them back in place, this time the teacher did not give in, no matter what tricks the child played, he insisted that he clean up the toys.
Amazingly, since then, this child has changed like a person, has great respect for the teacher, and has reduced the headache behavior before.
Why do children have such a big change?
This is because children who lack a sense of rules are nervous and insecure in their hearts, and the children's trick-or-treating behavior is also constantly testing the boundaries of the teacher. The teacher's insistence on the rules allows him to touch the boundaries and know what he can do and what he can't do, and the child's bad behavior is reduced.
2. A critical period for cultivating children's awareness of rules?
3-6 years old is a critical period for children to cultivate their awareness of rules.
On the one hand, children in this period are gradually aware of the need for their behavior to conform to social norms due to the influence of social culture;
On the other hand, the child's self-awareness sprouts, and he wants to reflect his free will everywhere in his actions.
These two aspects will frequently conflict, and the best way to resolve conflicts is to establish a good sense of rules for children.
If parents cultivate their children's awareness of rules during this period, make rules with their children, and abide by the principles after they are established, they can let children understand respect and boundaries, better adapt to social rules, integrate into the collective environment, handle interpersonal relationships between themselves and others, and more effectively cultivate children's good behavior habits and self-control.
Like what:
Make rules on behavior habits: concentrate on eating, sleep on time, eat less sweets, finish the toys to sort out and summarize, how long to watch cartoons every day... Let children develop self-management skills and be more self-disciplined;
Establish rules in interpersonal communication: you can't beat people, you can't rob other people's things, don't move other people's belongings without consent, and be polite when you go to other people's homes... Let children learn to respect the needs and feelings of others, know etiquette and understand etiquette;
Establish rules in public places: do not run around in public places, do not noisy on subways and buses, keep quiet in movie theaters, play slide queues, abide by traffic rules at traffic lights, and do not trample on the lawn arbitrarily... Let children learn to self-discipline and respect others;
Establish rules on safety issues: don't frolic on the road, don't open doors to strangers, don't touch dangerous objects, don't jump in elevators, press around, or even sabotage... Improve children's awareness of self-protection and ensure their own safety.
Seeing these rules, some parents who advocate free education may think that these are not like rules and regulations, restricting the free development of their children.
Hegel once said that order is the first condition of freedom. Rules are like houses, although they restrict children's activities to a certain extent, they can shield them from the wind and rain, so that children can explore with confidence, boldness and freedom within the rules. Moreover, it is in the construction of various rules that children from 3 to 6 years old gradually de-self-centered, have a more mature and profound understanding of the world, and grow into children who are sensible, empathetic, and consistent with words and deeds.
Some parents, when dealing with children's violations of the rules, not only do not take the opportunity to educate their children, but instead work hard to excuse their children, thinking that their children are young and do not understand things, and it is good to grow up.
Not really!
3-6 years old is a key period for children's character formation and habit formation, children in this period have not yet formed a cognition of things, they have an inexplicable admiration for parents and teachers, let them do what they do, they will do.
This is also evidenced by Swiss child psychologist Piaget's experiments on judging dilemma situations, finding that young children tend to obey authority, believing that obeying adult orders is the right behavior, otherwise it is wrong.
And as the child grows up, or to adolescence, many of the child's behavior habits, thinking concepts gradually take shape, this time the child's personal awareness is very strong, pay attention to their own feelings, may not be to the parents and teachers "obey the words", and even will do it, parents and children often conflict and contradictions.
It can be seen that it is best to start cultivating children's awareness of rules from an early age. Moreover, the cultivation of rule consciousness cannot be completed overnight, and it needs to be repeated and practiced continuously.
Freedom with rules is called liveliness, and freedom without rules is called wanton. May our children have a sense of rules and teach this important lesson in life.