This article is from the WeChat public account (fish yearning life)
Lips and teeth will bump and bump for a long time, not to mention husband and wife.
Although husband and wife are intimate, they are two different individuals, with their own edges and corners, and it is inevitable that there will be differences in life. But a good relationship between husband and wife is not to never quarrel, but to love each other when quarrelling.
Looking around, I saw that many couples either lost each other because of the quarrel, and their feelings became fragmented, or they quarreled so much that they didn't even fight. When couples quarrel, learn these four "little skills", but the more noisy they are, the more they love!
1. Make trouble as much as you want, don't hide it.
Between husband and wife, the most feared thing is not to quarrel, but even quarrel. Two people can't even fight, indicating that they have nothing to say to each other, so this marriage actually exists in name only.
The reason why we have come to this point is not because of quarrels, but because two people do not quarrel. There are many people who obviously have a lot of dissatisfaction with marriage, but they just hide it in their hearts and don't say it. Over time, contradictions and resentment accumulate. By the day of the outburst, all the sensations were gone.
Therefore, both husband and wife are dissatisfied with each other, and they must quarrel in time. Don't think it's good to put up with it. Putting up with it to the end will only make each other more and more distant. Only when you confide in your true feelings can the other party know where you are not doing well and what your bottom line is. Knowing these will be more conducive to the operation of the marriage.
2. Be sure to communicate and solve the problem after a quarrel.
Every time a couple or couple quarrels in the TV series, after the quarrel, as long as two people cry bitterly or kiss affectionately, all the unhappiness will disappear.
But is this really the correct posture for a fight? After the quarrel, the reconciliation of the two people is not complete. The correct quarrel posture should be to wait for the other party to calm down and then take the problem out to solve, avoid talking. It only takes a while to get back together, and the next time you will quarrel over the same problem.
If we can solve the problem and talk openly and honestly, then we can know where the shining point of the other side is and where we are not doing well enough. After getting along, you can avoid each other's thunder points, and there will naturally be fewer quarrels.
3. Remember the other person's bottom line and don't make it again.
Through quarrels and run-ins, know each other's bottom line, keep it in mind, and don't make it again. But some people can communicate, know each other's lightning points, but don't care, and remain the same in the next quarrel.
The consequences of this are endless. If a person makes a mistake the first time, it can be said that he does not know, but the second time, the third time, it means that he does not care about the other party's feelings at all, which is why he is so unscrupulous. Over time, the other party will feel disappointed, and when the disappointment is enough, it is time to leave.
So, if you want to run a good marriage, don't take it for granted. With attitude and heart, feelings can get better and better.
4. After a quarrel, don't turn over old accounts.
As long as a person loves seriously, when the other party does something to hurt him, it will inevitably leave a wound in the heart.
But the most taboo thing in feelings is to turn over old accounts. If the other party makes a mistake and corrects it, but you always mention the past from time to time, it will make him feel very weak, even if I correct it is useless, your impression of me is still the same. Once he has such thoughts, he may allow his feelings to develop and no longer consider your feelings.
Therefore, in the relationship, it is necessary not to turn over the old account. After the quarrel, the other party has changed for you, so let the matter pass. Living in the moment and discussing things is good for feelings.
Quarrels are not terrible. Quarrels are a process of running into each other.
Through quarrels, understand each other's bottom line, know each other's intentions, do not easily touch the bottom line, no longer misunderstand each other, and the feelings will get better and better.
Good marriages grow up when you give in to me. When you are young, it is ordinary couples who can quarrel, smart couples who can quarrel, and smart couples who can reconcile. Use your wits to create a quarrel about intimacy.