The influence of parents on children is non-existent all the time, it is silent, hidden in every detail of daily life. The child can learn from every detail of his parents' interactions with him. The way and quality of interaction between parents and children will subtly affect the development of children's intelligence and cognition.
For example, when changing the baby's diaper, a simple sentence, "Wet diaper, I help you change", will make the baby feel the love of the parents; when feeding the baby, a smiling look between mother and child will make the baby feel more happy, and even affect the amount of food the baby eats; when the baby is bathed, a gentle touch will make the baby more relaxed and feel more secure.
The way parents work in their daily work, their attitude towards life, how to communicate with people, how to solve problems, can improve their language skills, learn how to communicate with people, how to solve problems, and so on.
How we take care of children in life, how to support children emotionally, and how to guide children cognitively can directly or indirectly reflect our parenting style of children, and our parenting style will directly affect the development and direction of children's IQ.
01 Gentle care is given in infancy and emotional support is given in childhood
The mother's soft comfort, warm smile, and gentle touch can give the child warm, positive and loving feedback, which will make the child more at ease and more confident to develop his cognitive ability.
Affection, warmth, encouragement, and physical contact are important for both toddler and preschoolers, and are closely related to the level of intellectual development in childhood.
For older children, it is more important to need more emotional support from their parents. That is, when children want to explore freely, want to develop their own interests and encounter difficulties, they can get enough appreciation and encouragement from their parents.
Studies have shown that every child is born with an interest or a spark of talent, and whether a child can persist in developing and giving full play to his or her talents is particularly related to whether he or she has the support of his parents. Most children's potential sparks of interest, if not perceived and encouraged by their parents, it is basically difficult for children to persist until the sparks disappear.
Highly responsive to the needs of children
There have been some misconceptions that we don't need to meet the needs of our babies in time, for fear that this will spoil him. But this misconception is based on the ability of the baby's brain to deliberately "manipulate" adults.
In fact, planning is a function of the prefrontal cortex of the child's brain, but the prefrontal cortex of the baby's brain has not yet developed to the point where it can manipulate adults. All the needs of the baby are based on the simplest needs of survival, such as eating and drinking, cold, the need for hugs, and so on.
Studies have proved that being highly responsive to the physical needs of babies is conducive to the development of children's IQ.
In addition, the development of emotional and social skills in infants requires stimulation and response from adults. Don't look at the baby will only babble ah, in fact, this is his most original communication request, when the baby issued a communication request, if the parents not only respond in time, but also take the initiative to make him happy, and even play games with him, the baby will feel that he is valued, will also be encouraged, is conducive to his establishment of a healthy emotional model and self-awareness.
Regardless of whether the child can speak, parents give their children more "language responses", that is, communicate more with their children, which is conducive to promoting the development of children's language ability and intelligence.
All in all, being highly responsive to their children's needs means that parents respect their children's personality, are willing to spend time listening to their children, spend energy to understand their children's true intentions, and are willing to spend time trying to guide their children to communicate.
Participatory parenting promotes children's growth
Studies have demonstrated that children's levels of IQ development are associated with high-quality parental involvement. So, what is high-quality engagement?
*Supervision and guidance of children's academics alone is not a high-quality participation
In the era of inner volumes, as parents, we are more likely to pay more attention to allowing children to benefit in the short term, for example, forcing children to read more words every day, do more arithmetic problems, and memorize more words. It is true, but if it is too much against the child's wishes, at the cost of stifling the child's enthusiasm for learning, it is harmful.
I remember a girl in "The Boy Says" who once stood on the stage to accuse her father, learned to help her plan well, supervised her learning, and helped her plan the development of her interests. Unexpectedly, my daughter told everyone that she didn't like such a life and was about to be overwhelmed. In fact, the girl's father is like this, not high-quality participation, but control.
In the long run, helping children maintain their interest and enthusiasm for learning, and developing the beautiful behaviors of diligence, perseverance, optimism and positivity, can children really benefit.
*High-quality engagement refers to one-on-one focused communication
Coping with children's questions while working, chatting on the phone with children, or children playing, parents watching from the sidelines, are not high-quality participation.
True high-quality participation means that parents should directly communicate with their children one-on-one, no matter what they do with their children, parents cannot be distracted in this process, and need to focus all their attention on what they are doing with their children.
* Encourage children to do things that interest them
Children who do what they are interested in will develop a high degree of concentration. On this basis, parents then guide children to like to learn knowledge in various disciplines, and encourage children to promote the development of their own interests by learning cultural knowledge.
In the process of guiding children to do some things they like, parents should try their best to let their children experience the fun of trying, completing tasks, and creating. When children encounter difficulties and want to give up, parents can accompany and encourage children to continue to challenge tasks that are a little beyond their own ability, so that children can complete a better sense of achievement and control, and enhance self-confidence.
* Sincerely share with your child
In real life, it is often seen that the relationship between some parents and children is very distant, and they do not understand each other at all. In this way, the child has difficulties, and the first person who thinks of asking for help is definitely not the parent. This is potentially dangerous for weak children.
Parents and children sincerely share and communicate, can make children understand parents more, children and parents closer to the relationship, in adolescence, it can weaken the influence of bad peers on her, it is easier to guide children to focus on the development of interests and positive activities.
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